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Patient : Doctor, I have a pain throughout my body!
Doctor : What?
Patient : *touching his neck* Aww!, *touching his shoulder* Aww! *touching his forehead* Aww! *touching other part sof body* Aww!
Doctor : Let me see
*1 minute later*
Doctor : It's not "pain throughout your body", its a fracture in your right pointing finger!
Patient : !$&@*^
Instructor : Cook the dessert cake I taught last week, with twice the amount in the recipe I gave!
-----
Exam over
Jane : Why is my cake so awful?
Instructor : Did you do the recipe right twice?
Jane : Yes! Even in the recipe stated "bake in 350 degrees (F)", and I baked in 700 degrees!!
Instructor : *triple facepalm*
NB : the real "twice" of 350F scientifically is around 1160F!
A motorbike of 3 passengers (Driver's license, row, and dumb - the real names*) stopped by a police due to over 100mph speeding
Police : Where is your driver's license?
Driver's license : I'm Driver's license!
Police : You wanna start a row?
Row : I'm the Row!
Police : You all are dumb!
Dumb : No, I'm the only Dumb!
Police : &$&&*^%
*they're from a family with a habit naming their baby based on the last word they heard after their baby was born
A hillbilly family would name their baby after what the fathers first words were after seeing the baby. They move into a small town and the two children a boy and a girl go to their first day of school.
Teacher to the boy: "What is your name"?
Boy: "He's got balls".
Teacher to the boy: "Don't be smart with me, What is your real name"?
Boy: (answers again) "He's got balls".
Teacher to the boy: "I don't like your sassy answer so you take your little sister home, come back tomorrow and give me your correct name".
Boy: Takes his little sisters hand and says....."Come on Little S**t, she won't believe you either".
Man : (eating, and sense something different)
Man : Sir, this chicken soup is different, it really has the best taste of all chicken soups, what's the secret?
Waiter : I know the secret but to tell it means violating the restaurant rules
Man : This $100 I give for you for telling the secret, just whisper!
Waiter : (whisper) This soup's meat is 50-50 chicken : horse meat!
Man : 50:50?
Waiter : Yes, 1 chicken for 1 horse!!!
Man : Lol
Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
24,482 posts, read 26,021,800 times
Reputation: 59868
Well, A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, And finally they got married, and had a little sweet Potato, which they Called 'Yam.'
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When it was time, they told her about the Facts Of life.
They warned her about going out and getting Half-Baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of tater tots
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!
But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either, s he would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries.
And when she went out West, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class
Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'
Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University ) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.
But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw!
Mr. And Mrs. Potato were very upset.
They told Yam she couldn't Possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just.......
Are you ready for this?
OMG motor, where do you find this stuff LOLOL!!!!!!!!!!
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