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This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. What is the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself? A Beretta Jetfire testimonial.
Here is her story in her own words:
"While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside of The Villages (north of Orlando) with my soon to be ex-husband discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12 foot alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.
If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.
It's one of the best pistols in my collection! Plus the amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible."
A lady inherited a parrot; the parrot was female, and had a bit of a foul mouth; every few minutes it would blurt out "I'm a hooker", or "I'm a swinger".
One day the parrot went into its monologue while the lady's parish priest was visiting; the lady was embarrassed and apologized to the priest who said: "Think nothing of it; I have two parrots which did this, and I reformed them."
"How were you able to do that?"
"I trained them to recite the rosary; come over to the rectory, and I'll show you."
So the lady paid a visit to the rectory; sure enough, the two parrots were in the study, with a rosary and a small hand bell. First one would ring the bell, the other would say the appropriate response, the first would move the bead, Then the roles reversed, and the process went on and on.
"Amazing!", said the lady, "Do you think you can reform my parrot?"
"Certainly! Bring her in to the rectory tomorrow."
The next morning the lady arrived with the parrot, and the two others were performing the rites as usual. The female parrot immediately went into its "I'm a hooker; I'm a swinger" monologue.
Whereupon one of the reciting parrots proclaimed to the other:
(drum roll)
"You can put the beads away now, Joe; Our prayers have been answered!"
Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
24,482 posts, read 26,021,800 times
Reputation: 59868
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him
"How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age/nursing home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
24,482 posts, read 26,021,800 times
Reputation: 59868
Friendship among Women: (I don't believe this)
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her
husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything
about it.
Friendship among MenI'M SURE THIS IS TRUE)
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife
that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her
husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over,
and two said he was still there.
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I'M SURE THIS IS TRUE)