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Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
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Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter in flight, 10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave;
otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she
was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general,and was
use to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping . . . . . .
Two economists were walking down the street one day when they passed two large piles of dog ****.
The first economist said to the other, "I'll pay you $20,000 to eat one of those piles of ****." The second one agrees and chooses one of the piles and eats it. The first economist pays him his $20,000.
Then the second economist says, "I'll pay you $20,000 to eat the other pile of ****." The first one says okay, and eats the ****. The second economist pays him the $20,000.
They resume walking down the street.
After a while, the second economist says, "You know, I don't feel very good. We both have the same amount of money as when we started. The only difference is we've both eaten ****."
The first economist says: "Ah, but you're ignoring the fact that we've engaged in $40,000 worth of trade!"
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds..
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car..
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car or were they trying to steal it?
'Heavens no, we bought it.'
'Then why don't you drive it away.'
We can't drive.'
Then why did you buy it?'
'We were told that if we bought a used car here we'd get screwed ......
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman... and so forth. However, little Paul was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear.Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Paul aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," the boy said, "He plays hockey for the Toronto Maple Leafs, but it's much too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids."
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