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I feel for you guys. I hate approaching and would not have the guts to do this experiment. I definitely would never do the open proposition experiment--can you imagine having to deal with the fallout of telling them, "Just kidding, this was an experiment, no sex for you"? Ugh.
There's a thread about feeling sexy on a regular basis, and a few women and I said that we don't try to be sexy all the time. I don't put my flirt on most of the time because I don't want to give a man the wrong idea or have to turn him down, because I know some are looking for that welcoming smile or direct eye contact. It's not predatorial, I know, just recognizing an opportunity. I went to a bar with my sister to play pool and a couple of guys came to talk to us. We both felt bad telling them we were married, although they weren't rude or anything. It's harsh terrain for you ... I totally sympathize.
It's all good. It's not a sympathy thing. As I've been trying to say, it's just intriguing to find the difference in what people believe vs. what they experience. Also, LOL at having to explain that it was an experiment. I hadn't considered that
It all boils down to the same thing with you - so it's pretty pointless but what topic? The OP's topic? I've already addressed that. The topic about men not being able to take home as many women for a one night stand as the other way around? I addressed that, too. What topic am I supposed to address?
Except that wasn't the topic. It (mine, anyway) was about people not understanding the difference. As you mentioned in a previous post, men may not understand how difficult it is for women to get married. That's much closer than "I don't care if men have a hard time getting women to sleep with them", which is totally unrelated.
Let the proclamation be carried swiftly afoot to the four corners of the empire, that on this 19th day of February, in our Lord's year of 2014 that one of the women on CD-R, after much tribulation, admitted that women have it far easier in dating than men.
!!!!
Well hang on. That's not QUITE the conclusion here.
What the hell are you talking about? I've said over and over that some PEOPLE have it easier and some PEOPLE have it harder. Most PEOPLE that I know didn't meet their SO's from cold approaches. You were specifically talking about generating initial attraction. Yes - I generated more initial attraction than I felt for others. I'm not that much of a visual person. I don't see how you can read my post and then posit that I've said that women have it far easier in dating than men.
Conversely, I don't see how you can read MY posts and posit that I've said that women have it far easier in dating than men. But you were still very quick to rant about how little you care about it.
I'm going to make a comment and please don't flame me. Do women truly want, in some regard, what they can't have? The guy that makes their heart skip a beat, but when the woman is ready, the guy flips a switch and becomes a sweetheart.
I'd suggest that this applies to both genders. You'll find it more strongly in the people who are more accustomed to getting what they want (interpret that however you want), but when you're used to getting what you want, the "challenge" of getting something more difficult is more appealing.
You've got some serious tunnel vision going on here. Nobody's talking about you or what you care about. To answer your question, yes I would...especially if my assumption was much higher than the actual number. But you probably missed that in my previous post when you were looking for an excuse to turn this into a gender war.
Gender war? I have zero problem with men. I love men. We can make assumptions and stereotype all day long - but it makes little difference when dealing with actual people. Maybe you missed my posts about it not really being about gender at all in terms of who has it hard and who has it easy.
As for talking about what I care about - well, wouldn't my posts be my opinions and things that I care about?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31
Except that wasn't the topic. It (mine, anyway) was about people not understanding the difference. As you mentioned in a previous post, men may not understand how difficult it is for women to get married. That's much closer than "I don't care if men have a hard time getting women to sleep with them", which is totally unrelated.
There seem to be many topics going on. I wasn't sure which one I seemed to be avoiding. I'm answering posts the way I see them. If there is something specific you would like to ask me - feel free.
To be honest - stereotypically - men want sex and women want love. But on a personal level - most people that I know in my actual life want love. They might have had some fun dating and having a few flings here and there (more than a few for some - but generally not once they reach a certain age) but ultimately are looking for love. And to be honest, most of my friends and acquaintances have found love. One of my best friends (a woman) is having a hard time - but she's just in a hard spot in her life overall and doesn't put herself out there at all.
Gender war? I have zero problem with men. I love men. We can make assumptions and stereotype all day long - but it makes little difference when dealing with actual people. Maybe you missed my posts about it not really being about gender at all in terms of who has it hard and who has it easy.
As for talking about what I care about - well, wouldn't my posts be my opinions and things that I care about?
Go ahead. But they'll draw some odd responses if they're not on topic. I could respond and say that I like pizza...but nobody would care.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
There seem to be many topics going on. I wasn't sure which one I seemed to be avoiding. I'm answering posts the way I see them. If there is something specific you would like to ask me - feel free.
That's true, and I apologize for hijacking the thread. I thought my story was kind of related.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
To be honest - stereotypically - men want sex and women want love. But on a personal level - most people that I know in my actual life want love. They might have had some fun dating and having a few flings here and there (more than a few for some - but generally not once they reach a certain age) but ultimately are looking for love. And to be honest, most of my friends and acquaintances have found love. One of my best friends (a woman) is having a hard time - but she's just in a hard spot in her life overall and doesn't put herself out there at all.
This is the off-topic stuff that I was talking about.
Conversely, I don't see how you can read MY posts and posit that I've said that women have it far easier in dating than men. But you were still very quick to rant about how little you care about it.
I never said that I thought you said that women have it far easier in dating than men do. You seem to be getting very worked up about my posts. I'm sorry if I've upset you. That wasn't my intention. To be honest - my point wasn't so much directed towards you as it was towards those who would interpret your posts as women having it totally easy while men have it soooo hard. That's all.
Like I've said, I had it very easy in dating, relationships, and love. But it's not because I'm a woman. It's because I'm awesome!
I'd suggest that this applies to both genders. You'll find it more strongly in the people who are more accustomed to getting what they want (interpret that however you want), but when you're used to getting what you want, the "challenge" of getting something more difficult is more appealing.
In hindsight, it's not as rewarding and usually more debilitating. If you feel that you can over reach than you should, but over reaching usually comes with consequences. Just like underachieving comes with consequences as well. The closer two people are to even, the happier I believe they are. Any other way just seems like you're trying to impres other people or prove a point.
To be honest - my point wasn't so much directed towards you as it was towards those who would interpret your posts as women having it totally easy while men have it soooo hard. That's all.
Fair enough!
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