Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Trying to stay invisible is about the worst thing you can do being female. The creeps will still be around and anyone halfway decent will bounce. No one likes an ice queen. I've seen many average looking women beating men off with sticks practically, but that was because she was outgoing and knew how to talk to men. You don't have to try to get attention. You're going to get some sort of it anyway, being female.
Hmm, yes, I wouldn't say I was an icequeen. Just shy...and introverted, reticent. But, I can be a very warm person naturally, I just had to get over the idea that being my normal warm and receptive self was somehow asking for trouble?
Ultimately, I think these are things that affect a lot of people it seems. But, we all at some point, have to decide to either do things the same way as always and get the same results, or try something new and grow.
Well, at least you learned something out of this "experiment'?
I actually didn't expect you to approach and talk to men or even ask them out, and expected this thread to die. It was until someone wanted to know what actually happened.
Well, why did you think I wouldn't do it at all? And that this thread would 'die'?
What would have been a suitable result in your opinion?
Approach a woman in the supermarket while you are carrying a 12 pack of toilet paper. She's thinking. Gee he's thrifty, buys in bulk to save a little. Or, He must chit alot, dont want to bother with him. Which way do you think.
I have an idea, I've heard so many guys on here talk about how women never do the approaching, I'm going to try it out...for the rest of the month, every time I see a guy who I feel is attractive - I'm going to walk up to them and tell them so. I'm going to
If they are with another woman I will compliment her on her good taste in men.
Then I'm going to report back to CD with the results...that will be March the 18th.
How many think that the guys will look at me like I just stepped off a spaceship?
How many think the guys will laugh in my face and walk away?
How many will get out a peice of paper and a pen and start exchanging phone numbers?
How many of them with women, will the woman present slap me?
To make it a real experiment, lets say I have to go for a quota of 25 guys total...
Ready, set.... GO
I think you will ultimately land a very kind and sincere guy out of the experiment as a fortunate byproduct. I think so because you will not come across as someone who is trying to score or swing around because that person would be more explicit and perhaps dirty in the approach than you.
You instead will directly appeal to a very intelligent and promising subsection of men, while many of the ones who tune you out won't be your type anyhow.
Trying to stay invisible is about the worst thing you can do being female. The creeps will still be around and anyone halfway decent will bounce. No one likes an ice queen. I've seen many average looking women beating men off with sticks practically, but that was because she was outgoing and knew how to talk to men. You don't have to try to get attention. You're going to get some sort of it anyway, being female.
I do believe this is true, but it's hard when you are introverted &/or shy. Shyness can even be overcome, but some are naturally more quiet & not the giggly/flirty types. Even when comfortable, I'm more of a reserved listener than someone who is cutesy & chatty.
Like foclampt noted below, this does not mean such women are ice queens. All of my exes told me I was extremely patient & kind & also warm & affectionate once I opened up, more so than other women they had dated. But I needed time to open up. It's unfortunate people are so quick to jump to conclusions off of brief first impressions.
There is a lot more prejudice towards introverted women than men. The expectations for women are to be outgoing, chatty & gushy with emotion. Men are allowed to be more quiet & thoughtful socially.
Quote:
Originally Posted by foclampt
Hmm, yes, I wouldn't say I was an icequeen. Just shy...and introverted, reticent. But, I can be a very warm person naturally, I just had to get over the idea that being my normal warm and receptive self was somehow asking for trouble?
Ultimately, I think these are things that affect a lot of people it seems. But, we all at some point, have to decide to either do things the same way as always and get the same results, or try something new and grow.
I never worried about asking for trouble... I just don't feel genuine affection for strangers. It's hard for me to force an emotional expression I don't feel. I feel neutral to people I don't know, so I appear & act neutral. But women are expected to be gushy & inviting to everyone all the time. Not only is that exhausting, but it feels fake to me. And yeah, inevitably it can lead people on & cause misunderstandings.
As a woman, it's hard to find the middle ground between friendly & flirty & send the right signals to the right guy. There's a lot of judgement hurled at you if you're too aloof or too friendly - it's like walking a tight-rope.
I've tried to give off friendlier vibes in recent years, mostly trying to channel my natural curiosity into friendliness so it's not "fake", but ultimately I am a quiet, absent-minded person & I DO want to be appreciated for that, not a phony exterior of ditzy bubbly-ness.
I do believe this is true, but it's hard when you are introverted &/or shy.
There is a lot more prejudice towards introverted women than men. The expectations for women are to be outgoing, chatty & gushy with emotion. Men are allowed to be more quiet & thoughtful socially.
i dont buy that especially in the dating world its much harder for shy men then women becasue men have to be the pursuers most of the time so a shy women can be approached a shy man usually not unles hes extremely good looking..
(is flabbergasted and nonplussed and discombobulated)
To them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
