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You've completely proven your point by using another thread.
Look, we get it. You feel like nobody wants you - therefore women only want hot guys because that's the only reason that they don't want you. If you want to continue to believe that - there's nothing that anyone can do about it.
I mean, I'll be honest, those things come highly into play even in platonic friendships.
Well, yeah. For dating I freely admit that there does have to be an initial attraction, like can I visualize kissing with this person.... but I can't *want* them until I get to know them.
I can look at a picture of a guy, and think "yes, he's good looking (to me)", but the attraction won't start until I get to know him, or the attraction can never start.
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You've completely proven your point by using another thread.
Look, we get it. You feel like nobody wants you - therefore women only want hot guys because that's the only reason that they don't want you. If you want to continue to believe that - there's nothing that anyone can do about it.
Pretty much yea.
I didn't say I was upset about it. I just said that's how it is. You have to be happy with your situation.
Well, yeah. For dating I freely admit that there does have to be an initial attraction, like can I visualize kissing with this person.... but I can't *want* them until I get to know them.
I can look at a picture of a guy, and think "yes, he's good looking (to me)", but the attraction won't start until I get to know him, or the attraction can never start.
Exactly right.
So, if you can't meet that standard of physical attractiveness, you can take it upon yourself to scramble and compensate in other areas to try and make up the difference or just drop out of the competition and live with the results you get from putting in your best effort.
So, if you can't meet that standard of physical attractiveness, you can take it upon yourself to scramble and compensate in other areas to try and make up the difference or just drop out of the competition and live with the results you get from putting in your best effort.
Well, I can certainly say I wouldn't want a guy to date me if he did not feel sexual chemistry.
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Well, yeah. For dating I freely admit that there does have to be an initial attraction, like can I visualize kissing with this person.... but I can't *want* them until I get to know them.
I can look at a picture of a guy, and think "yes, he's good looking (to me)", but the attraction won't start until I get to know him, or the attraction can never start.
For me, the attraction starts with personality and common interests, whether he's good-looking or not. A warm smile on anyone is attractive.
Well, I can certainly say I wouldn't want a guy to date me if he did not feel sexual chemistry.
I understand that.
We're all gonna be dead anyway.
Whether you're a guy who's had women by barely lifting a finger since he was 10 or a 55 year old man who has never had a woman, it's better to be happy with your situation and do the things that make you happy.
The only way you can internalize that is by taking yourself out of the competition of life.
So, if you can't meet that standard of physical attractiveness, you can take it upon yourself to scramble and compensate in other areas to try and make up the difference
This is what a lot of people do, and it works for many of them. The awareness of the need to do this generally starts in highschool. This is just life. Everyone is dealt different cards, and most learn to make the best of the hand they're dealt. Having to struggle in one way or another is what creates depth and wisdom.
This is what a lot of people do, and it works for many of them. The awareness of the need to do this generally starts in highschool. This is just life. Everyone is dealt different cards, and most learn to make the best of the hand they're dealt. Having to struggle in one way or another is what creates depth and wisdom.
Now that is something I WILL argue about.
Does striving for the best make you happier? Improving your job, body, and charisma so you can get the best person?
In my experience, striving for those things have brought me nothing but misery. And listen to guys here who whine the most. They all believe they need those things and are striving for them.
I mean, listen to what you're saying. "I wasn't born good looking, so I'm going to work on my career and social skills and charisma so people will like me and I can get the best mate I can."
That doesn't sound like any kind of a happy life to me. Better to just be yourself and live with the results.
It's a little late, considering how long you've been on this forum, reading the same advice on numerous threads every month.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJS99;
Does striving for the best make you happier?
It works for a lot of people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJS99;
Improving your job, body, and charisma so you can get the best person?
In my experience, striving for those things have brought me nothing but misery. And listen to guys here who whine the most. They are all striving for those things.
I mean, listen to what you're saying. "I wasn't born good looking, so I'm going to work on my career and social skills and charisma so people will like me and I can get the best mate I can."
That doesn't sound like any kind of a happy life to me. Better to just be yourself and live with the results.
You added the bolded. That's your issue. It's not about getting the best mate, but a good mate. The guys here who whine the most AREN'T striving to improve themselves. They seem to think everything should fall in their lap. They get advised by people here to cheer up, and work on their depression, anger, or other issues. Maybe that's not so common for guys, but women learn at an early age to work on their personality, and be fun, considerate, and outgoing. If you don't like this type of advice, you're probably on the wrong forum.
And what alternative is there? To not do anything, and accept your fate. Fine, but that means not wallowing in it and complaining about it. It's a choice you've made, so own it, and live with it.
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