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At the Senior Citizens Centre they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard."
Since my dear beloved wife died after 27 years of marriage, I've become so lonely so I decided to join a dating agency yesterday and they immediately found me a match. I met her only this morning and we both hit it off right away - we even came back to my place and had amazing sex. Don't get me wrong, I'll never forget my wife but this new lady has given me hope that I can live again. She's also promised to be there to comfort me at my wife's funeral tomorrow afternoon.
An elephant and a camel are talking. The elephant asks, "Why do you have boobs on your back?" The camel replies, "Ha! That's a funny question coming from an animal with a penis hanging from his face."
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