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Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
24,476 posts, read 26,017,453 times
Reputation: 59858
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the fortune teller delivered grave news:
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, the young woman stared back at the old woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her shaking hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. Her mind raced. A question forced it's way out... she simply had to know.. She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, tried to steady her voice and asked,
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the fortune teller delivered grave news:
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, the young woman stared back at the old woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her shaking hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. Her mind raced. A question forced it's way out... she simply had to know.. She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, tried to steady her voice and asked,
A 7 year old girl's dad was surprised when the 8 year old boy from a couple houses down told him he wanted to marry the man's daughter. The dad asked where they were going to live? "Well, we both have large bedrooms so we figured we could swap up, spending time in both houses". "What about income?" "We both get an allowance and I have quite a bit in my piggy bank." Dad is surprised how somebody this young could have thought all this out. One more question., "What about having a family?" The little boy looked at her dad, "Well, we've been lucky so far."
Know why an elephant paints his toenails red? To hide in the cherry tree.
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? See how good it works?
If people can hack into celebs websites to see nude or cheesy pics, why cant someone find a way to hack into Experian and give us all 800 credit scores?
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the fortune teller delivered grave news:
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, the young woman stared back at the old woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her shaking hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. Her mind raced. A question forced it's way out... she simply had to know.. She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, tried to steady her voice and asked,
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."
"Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT - DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up you stupid, ugly bird!"
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No Eye-dea (Idea)!
What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?
Still no idea.
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