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There are not alot of people I know who can say they don't have any friends. Everyone has loads of friends . It maybe down to the fact that I live in south Asia where socializing is easy , you don't have to go out party, everyone in Town/Village knows you by your name and takes time out of their schedule to socialize with you. I think relationships in West seems forced and not many people will genuinely care about you . Our society is tightly knit and everyone will care about you and make sure your given company even the loners have loads of friends. I have 30-40 friends from village where I grew up , 10-20 school friends whom I still hang out with , 50-60 genuine college friends and many from University. I guess the community and society you live in makes alot of difference if you have loads of friends or not.
I give credit to my community for me having so many friends because people genuinely care about you. whether its a guy living down the street , a farmer living 2 blocks away or a nurse in local hospital . My time in UK I felt The relationships were forced and there was no sense of the general feeling of community caring about you even if you were a loner because they just care about themselves.
Socializing and making friends in Our part of the world is quite easy compared to West atleast that's how I feel. Hanging out here is bicycling , playing cricket/football every afternoon with local guys , or just chilling out watching movies and not drugs and sex.
There are not alot of people I know who can say they don't have any friends. Everyone has loads of friends . It maybe down to the fact that I live in south Asia where socializing is easy , you don't have to go out party, everyone in Town/Village knows you by your name and takes time out of their schedule to socialize with you. I think relationships in West seems forced and not many people will genuinely care about you . Our society is tightly knit and everyone will care about you and make sure your given company even the loners have loads of friends. I have 30-40 friends from village where I grew up , 10-20 school friends whom I still hang out with , 50-60 genuine college friends and many from University. I guess the community and society you live in makes alot of difference if you have loads of friends or not.
I give credit to my community for me having so many friends because people genuinely care about you. whether its a guy living down the street , a farmer living 2 blocks away or a nurse in local hospital . My time in UK I felt The relationships were forced and there was no sense of the general feeling of community caring about you even if you were a loner because they just care about themselves.
Socializing and making friends in Our part of the world is quite easy compared to West atleast that's how I feel. Hanging out here is bicycling , playing cricket/football every afternoon with local guys , or just chilling out watching movies and not drugs and sex.
It sounds as if you're bragging & putting down western society as those only wanting drugs & sex. Don't believe all the horrible TV programming & movies that are imported by your country. I've known very few who live the life you wrongly think to be the western plague.
The largest part of what you're saying seems to be that you're not living in a melting pot, meaning, most people are like you, same nationality, same religion, same heritage, same background, so your food, culture & musical tastes are all similar, rather than different. Melting pots can make people section off into their own small groups of like minded, who share similarities with the aforementioned, thereby, less people in one's social circle.
And, what you've described may be wonderful for you as you've grown up that way, but not everyone wants to hang out with 60 college mates or watch TV with a dozen people. Just thinking of the noise level alone in most of your gatherings is giving me a headache by default.
You also compared your village to a giant metropolis. No comparison. If you've been around this board enough & read posts from those in rural settings vs urban dwellings, you'd know that just inside the USA, lives vastly differ. We're not all the same either, mate.
It sounds as if you're bragging & putting down western society as those only wanting drugs & sex. Don't believe all the horrible TV programming & movies that are imported by your country. I've known very few who live the life you wrongly think to be the western plague.
The largest part of what you're saying seems to be that you're not living in a melting pot, meaning, most people are like you, same nationality, same religion, same heritage, same background, so your food, culture & musical tastes are all similar, rather than different. Melting pots can make people section off into their own small groups of like minded, who share similarities with the aforementioned, thereby, less people in one's social circle.
And, what you've described may be wonderful for you as you've grown up that way, but not everyone wants to hang out with 60 college mates or watch TV with a dozen people. Just thinking of the noise level alone in most of your gatherings is giving me a headache by default.
You also compared your village to a giant metropolis. No comparison. If you've been around this board enough & read posts from those in rural settings vs urban dwellings, you'd know that just inside the USA, lives vastly differ. We're not all the same either, mate.
I have been to Japan and Thailand where people , Cultures , religion everything was different but got the same vibe I get in my own country . I don't believe in TV programming I have Lived In UK for 7 years and seen things myself.
Neither Am I knocking down western society or people wanting drugs or sex . Was comparing lifestyles between west and east . There are many Aspects of lifestyles which I preferred In UK and don't like it here but the socializing part I like it here because it's quite easy . You wouldn't hear many people from South Asia/South east Asia Saying they don't have many friends even if they are loners . People care be it a rural setting or a big city . Went to Japan as an intern was a village near Osaka where I got the same good vibes. Here even in a big city you would know the guy living three streets away because his mother sends you dinner or lunch or he plays cricket/football with you in afternoon. this sort of thing is more prevalent in east not saying it isn't there in west though.
Again I like certain aspects Of Western Lifestyle but not the socializing part. Unless you don't study in a college/University its quite difficult for a normal person to make friends there.
I have 200 Facebook friends we talk or comment about each other's family photos or jobs ( small talk) these are all ppl I've either worked with in life or went to school with or a family member. But out if the 200 ppl I wouldn't tell anyone of them a personal story or a secret about me? I don't feel a great connection with any one like a best friend would. I know if I ever wanted to hang out with any one of them I could just do that? I feel like I'm over the asking ppl to wanna be my friend stage of life? Im trying not to sound stuck up or snobby! I think I've just been let down a lot but ppl who were my friends and it's hard for me to trust ppl that way so easily! I'm a women I'm a friendly person i expect the same respect in life that I give to others. I guess I just don't always see that in life. It's a lot of gossip and judgement from people. And though you say you don't care what ppl think, I tend to care.
I have been to Japan and Thailand where people , Cultures , religion everything was different but got the same vibe I get in my own country.
Yes... that's exactly what I've said. Japan & Thailand, like your country, are predominately made up of those from the same heritage. Some foreigners can be found living there... I lived in Japan & am not Japanese... but, the vast majority of those societies are people who are similar. Neither country is a melting pot of dozens & dozens of nationalities, etc & those having been raised in stunningly different backgrounds, as you'll especially find in the states.
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Again I like certain aspects Of Western Lifestyle but not the socializing part. Unless you don't study in a college/University its quite difficult for a normal person to make friends there.
I'm lost in your verbiage here. You're saying people only have friends if they don't go to college? If you're saying the opposite (I'm assuming you are), that it's only easy to make friends in college, I find that hard to believe. I did a quick search & found that less than 31% of Americans have a BA/BS... of course, the #s drop drastically with masters & PhD grads.... less than 11 & 3% respectively. That means well over more than 1/2 of a country of over 330M have difficulty making friends and/or may be friendless? University is only one avenue for friends, as is work, groups, social functions, extended family. Most I've known from the US/UK/IR say they've lost touch with college mates as they often move away for work, or if they remain in the same city, once they become involved in career/relationship. They seem to make their adulthood friends after school.
Still, you can't compare a melting pot to a homogenous society. It's apples & oranges.
Actually, 20s and 30s are difficult to keep friends. Lives change dramatically in the 20s and 30s. Between getting married, career changes, kids, moves, and all other reasons why people go different directions, it can be tough to hang on to friends, and more difficult to make new ones. There are more barriers to entry in the friend market during that time.
I think you must live in a very strange place. I don't think I know a single person in real life who has zero friends.
My brother who is in his 50s told me he doesn't have any friends.
However he does have a steady GF.
I'm down to 5 but have regular person to person contact with zero. I lost 2 friends recently over issues that were out of my control.
When I was Doll Eyes age I had a lot of friends. But one died and the others did not make it long term.
It's only going to get harder as you age.
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you meant FB right?
