Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't need many friends. I just need GOOD friends. And I have them.
A handful in Germany, still, even though I will never move back.
One in VA where I lived for 3 years
And a handful here in Cali where I live since 4 years.
Unfortunately no childhood friends. I was a loner and only concnetrated on having one friend. She married my ex bf and hasn't talked to me since. Oh well.
I know I will have my friends for life and it's awesome. We don't talk that often but we know we are there for each other if necessary.
If not through school, you can make friends through hobbies. Try it.
I only have one online friend who I have never actually met and lives 3,000 miles away. Other than that, I have always been ridiculously socially awkward so any kind of human relationship has always been difficult to impossible for me. I'm very much accustomed to being alone nearly 24/7 and I find most relationships to be very alien. I know people who have tons of friends, bring a new girl home every weekend, and get invited out all the time, are the life of the party, etc. Never understood how they do it, I suppose you either have "it" or you don't. In my case I just don't.
There's no reason to feel down about not having many friends.
1) You don't need friends to be happy and it's a major excuse many people use to depress themselves. It's infinitely better to have no friends than to have friends who bring you down or hold you back in life. Many cool, popular, attractive, and happy people go out to bars alone, go to the movies alone, and travel the world alone. It can be very difficult to convince all your friends to go together to all the countries, restaurants, or hangout spots you've been wanting to go to.
There have been so many times when I'd go out with friends or travel with relatives and I'd just think to myself how much more fun I'd be having if I were there alone. I remember traveling with relatives overseas and passing up tons of great dating opportunities (European girls, OMFG) because I was constantly forced to be with family or leave to another city. Ditto with friends at parties - there's always that lame friend who wants to leave a great party early while you're having the time of your life because the idea of hooking up with hot girls doesn't even cross his mind.
2) Many of life's greatest pleasures come best when you're alone.
- Being able to really enjoy a meal. Every little flavor. Similarly, being out in nature and taking in all the sights and sounds without distractions. I went to Yosemite with my cousin, who I thought was a cool guy, and he was absolutely horrible to be around. He'd constantly fight with me, make ridiculous demands, and act like a total child. I don't talk to him anymore.
- Meeting people of the opposite sex. I can't do this with my friends around. Only a few of them even talk to girls, and they usually will only do it drunk at a bar, whereas I like to meet girls during the daytime. Once you start getting that social vibe, you become unstoppable, and you don't have anyone saying, "This is boring, let's go." If you're at all decent with women, you'll find that at least 90 percent of "wingmen" are cockblocks. They're just there to poach on your success.
3) Friendship gets very romanticized by society. Much of it just comes down to shared interests. As your interests change, you may find many of your friendships fading away.
It's similar to the idea of romantic love. All it comes down to is chemical reactions in your brain from getting your needs met. Once you do get those needs met, you move on.
Also, a friend will have to be really cool to contribute positively to an experience, otherwise he/she will just be very annoying. Usually, if I want to share an experience with someone, it will be on a date.
Status:
"Just livin' day by day"
(set 25 days ago)
Location: USA
3,166 posts, read 3,360,802 times
Reputation: 5382
Friendship is what you make it, IMO. Like seasons change and as we go about stages in our life, so do friends. Friends come and go. I agree, its harder these days to maintain friendships as we are living in a society where moving from one location to another is commonplace. Most people these days are on a social media website. They can be a great tool in connecting with others. All my family and friends on FB, I've met at some point in my life and a good handful of them, we see each other IRL all the time. Those popular friendship quotes that float around the internet like FB and Pinterest are annoying and stupid. Like I said before, friends come and go, no need to sound bitter about it when someone isn't an active part of your life anymore.
Easiest way to make friends is put yourself out there. Be youself and positive. Like sand through an hourglass, so are the days of our lives
I am 25. After High School I drifted apart from a lot of friends and hardly talk to most of them. In college and work I have "school friends" and "work friends" but outside of those places we never talk. These days I feel like I only have one "true" friend. I have known this person since High School and even this person is busy with work so I hardly get to see her. I have another friend who is now in a relationship and hardly talks to me now unless I make the effort. But I'm starting to realize it's not worth it especially since they never respond to my texts anymore.
So no real social life for me. But I wouldn't call myself "lonely" or "isolated" since I am close with my family and extended family. But I can't wait to move to a new town and get into my program for my career and hopefully make new friends then. I'm also a guy and have virtually no guy friends anymore. I'm kind of shy so that could be why it's harder for me to make friends.
I believe it is extremely uncommon to be totally isolated as a young adult. Elderly people are more likely to find themselves alone, but people in the prime of life are very rarely without any friends at all.
Me. I'm 28. I had friends but I lost some in my divorce and moving and others had ulterior motives for being my friend which I realized wasn't very healthy for me.
My friends mostly come from high school and college and are spread around the country. I am an introverted person so I had a small circle of friends.
Where I am now - I have maybe 3-4 people from work that are more than colleagues - ie: I can ask them for favors and not feel guilty, grab a glass of wine at happy hour, go to the sports bar and watch a game. But we rarely if ever hang out at each other's houses or anything.
In college I had spurts where I didn't hang out with many people, then others when I was surrounded by people.
So you could arguably say I have no friends where I live. There is no one I could just call up and say, "hey, let's go hang out." It would have to be arranged well beforehand.
My best friends (2 really close, 1 quite close, and 3 others pretty close - all that I could share feelings with) come from 2nd, 7th, and 11th-12 grade. I never made better friends than that afterwards. for two years during college - the people in my cohort became reasonably good friends that I still occasionally talk to, but not as deep as those earlier ones.
Exactly my problem too. And I have nobody that I text. The only people who text me these days are my parents or work asking if I could come in.
Thanks everyone for all of your openness...
I was active duty Air Force for 9 yrs... I had so many friends- good friends. I had a baby and decided to get out because I wanted to be home with my baby... after I got out we moved to another state obviously now that military wasn't controlling where I would live. Well all those close friends that I thought I had are barely keeping in touch.. as if out of sight out of mind. I thought some were really good friends and a few were dear friends... now I am thinking they weren't real friends, they were just having good time for the moment they were. Now we are at a new state, I don't work because of the baby,... so I don't really have a way of meeting people and making new friends... kind of feel lonely. Reading the posts here made me feel a lot better that it is ok to be somewhat a lone and not have friends.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
