Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, it was actually a suburb of DC in Maryland, but close enough. Still a large percentage of people who work for the govt, but still I'm sure a large percentage of people from there or lived there a long time.
I think the debate of friend 'origin' comes up because transplants find out real fast when they move here that it is almost impossible to become friends with a person from here. The 'snub' if we can call it that is very blatant glazed over with an icy Minnesota Nice. It's hard to explain.
When they find that the natural place to find friends - work, school, wherever - isn't working, then they must go to different avenues. Moving to a new city, it's difficult to know where to go.. I'm surprised by the number of people who don't know about Meetup. Many have never heard of it.
As for Rosemount. It is a very nice place to live. We walk the dog, go to the grocery store, the restaurants etc. The activities in the community are very family focused and we just don't fit in that demographic. We have to look elsewhere, outside the community to find activities that appeal to adults only. But the demographics of Rosemount is very family oriented. Nothing wrong with that. We just don't fit into that, so we have to go elsewhere for activities that are more suited to us as well as to meet people.
At our meetups, coincidentally, we have met a few couples from Rosemount - mostly empty nesters. I think the common thread there is they were so involved with their kids and intertwined that way, that they didn't have many friends as a 'couple' after the kids left, if that makes sense.
Neighbourhood Potluck? Block Party? I wish!! lol If there are any, we've never been invited. I do know that two neighbours on our street have been feuding for years, so that may be it.
And in all fairness, our neighbour on one side has made great strides and invited us over. I think I broke the ice when I asked her to look after our house when we were away last winter. I brought her Vancouver Olympic Mitts (you know those mitts with the maple leaf on them?) and since then, we've been more friendly. So, I do acknowledge a slow progression with her.
Again, I think your situation is more related to your immediate neighbors and not the entire town. We have block parties here. Often in the evenings people just gather in a yard and chat, nothing formal. There is plenty to do in town, you just have to want to go. The high school had an amazing band concert last night-another one tonight. The band and the choir both have nationally recognized programs and are outstanding. Nothing says that you can't attend that. Did you go to any of the football games-1/2 the town shows up for those to watch football-which finished 2nd in the state this year- and our amazing marching band 5 time state champions. The high school puts on a production each year called "On Stage" that will be coming up in the spring-WONDERFUL production but the tickets sell out for the 12 performances in a day so get on the school website to find out when they are. We have some amazingly talented kids in this district. There are PLENTY of adults without children that attend. Did you go to any of the free concerts in the park over the summer or with Leprechaun Days? Plenty of adults without children there. Have you joined a church or other civic organization to get to know people in town?
Quite honestly, your attitude toward your neighbors and the kids cutting through your yard is pretty offsetting. Unless they are ripping up your grass or otherwise causing damage, what was the big deal? Maybe it is a MN thing but kids always have cut through yards, we did when we were growing up, we had other kids cut through our yard-it's a neighborhood. Perhaps that is more the reason you haven't made friends when the first thing you do is throw up a fence and cause an issue over nothing??
Come move to Minneapolis! Block parties galore here, and lots of people without kids. I had forgotten your neighbors, but I definitely agree that good or bad neighbors can make a big difference in neighborhood quality of life. And I agree that kids shouldn't be cutting through yards without prior permission. I don't think it's a huge deal, but I was raised with the expectation that we would either stick to the sidewalk or the alley. It was an unspoken rule. Some of our neighbors here have a different expectation (which does drive me crazy sometimes), but they're all very nice people and great kids, and in all other ways I find them very polite.
Again, I think your situation is more related to your immediate neighbors and not the entire town. We have block parties here. Often in the evenings people just gather in a yard and chat, nothing formal. There is plenty to do in town, you just have to want to go. The high school had an amazing band concert last night-another one tonight. The band and the choir both have nationally recognized programs and are outstanding. Nothing says that you can't attend that. Did you go to any of the football games-1/2 the town shows up for those to watch football-which finished 2nd in the state this year- and our amazing marching band 5 time state champions. The high school puts on a production each year called "On Stage" that will be coming up in the spring-WONDERFUL production but the tickets sell out for the 12 performances in a day so get on the school website to find out when they are. We have some amazingly talented kids in this district. There are PLENTY of adults without children that attend. Did you go to any of the free concerts in the park over the summer or with Leprechaun Days? Plenty of adults without children there. Have you joined a church or other civic organization to get to know people in town?
Quite honestly, your attitude toward your neighbors and the kids cutting through your yard is pretty offsetting. Unless they are ripping up your grass or otherwise causing damage, what was the big deal? Maybe it is a MN thing but kids always have cut through yards, we did when we were growing up, we had other kids cut through our yard-it's a neighborhood. Perhaps that is more the reason you haven't made friends when the first thing you do is throw up a fence and cause an issue over nothing??
There's not any of that socialization on the street that you describe. I will chat with one neighbour at a time. I can't say I have ever seen the entire street together chatting.
I had no idea about the football games, high school productions etc. We did go to Leprechaun Days, went to the beer gardens too. I enjoyed going through the small 'midway' and at the beer gardens outside the Legion, we tried to make conversation with people, but no one reciprocated. Don't do the church thing. I do appreciate the suggestions for things to do around here.. without kids, we don't know about the stuff at the high school.
When I'm at Cub, I always donate to the kids offering to pack our bags as a fundraiser -girls hockey, cheer..etc.
I really take exception to your comment about our fence and resent your implication of my attitude. How dare you imply that putting up a fence created the neighbourhood exclusion. That is quite an interesting assumption on your part.
It is a big deal. It is our yard. Period. We didn't just 'throw up the fence' and even if we did, we have every right to. Our yard was a public pathway and we are entitled to our privacy.
We have a dog. The purpose of the fence was to make our yard safe for our dog. The rest of the yard was fenced (with other neighbour's fences) except for one area bordering on two neighbours and the person who screamed the most about our fence... her yard is fenced. Fancy that, eh? It wasn't until we grew tired of the liberties taken with our yard with absolutely NO effort to get to know us that we 'threw up the fence' at the end of our 2nd summer. So it is off putting because we want our yard to be safe and private for our dog and ourselves? WOW!
We couldn't go a day without tonnes of kids riding their bikes through our yard over our grass, running back and forth. Kids we have never seen before. I'm not talking just the neighbour kids. I couldn't be in my office without little legs walking by millions of times per day. My husband and I couldn't have private intimate time in certain places in our house for fear little kids would be doing cartwheels through our yard seeing us through the windows. We were newlyweds when we moved here!! We couldn't back out of our driveway without worrying kids would be running through. This was not just the odd kid walking through. It was constant, grass damaged from bikes, invasion of privacy. Even if it wasn't a constant thing, it is our yard and I have no obligation to explain or justify our desire for privacy on our property.
No one asked if they could cut through. They just did it. If they had made an effort to get to know us, instead of taking liberties going through our yard 20 times per day, invading our privacy, making it the neighbourhood pass thru, we may not have minded. No one asked. No one tried to get to know us. I find it really interesting you try to lay it on us with absolutely no knowledge. This is a prime example of the justifications and excuses I mentioned above as well as the tendency to blame the transplant.
It is our property. We have a right to privacy and to not have to worry about injuring kids if we back out while they are running around. We have a right to fence our yard without causing a neighbourhood incident. Funny, those who took the most liberties, their yard is fenced.
BTW, is your yard fenced? Do you have the entire neighbourhood running through your yard? You jumped to a major conclusion, made assumptions and proved the point of every transplant here...you're trying to blame me for the lack of friendliness of our neighbours when we did everything we could to accommodate them and they still took liberties with OUR yard. Even if we did put up a fence shortly after moving in. It is our right to do so. We.Have.A.Dog.
You imply it is us. We didn't complain about the kids cutting through for two summers. We didn't complain about the myriad of parents and strangers walking through our yard not making any effort to say hi, get to know us, ... no our yard was a gateway for them to go elsewhere with no desire to get to know us. One neighbour suggested we put up an electric fence for our dog because she didn't want us to put up the fence.
One person went so far as to say they felt unwelcome in our yard when we put up the fence TWO YEARS after moving in. Errrm... yeah! You overstayed your welcome! It was a guilt trip. She also said the previous owner gave her kids a 'safe haven' by letting them cut through. Since when is it my responsibility to give the neighbourhood a safe haven when very few make any effort to talk to us, get to know us, but feel perfectly welcome overtaking our property? They knew from the beginning the fence would go up because of the dog.
The fence went up dang fast when my husband was working in the garage and one neighbour from the next block over cut through with some woman we have never seen before.. said a very smug.. hiiiyeeee.. never introduced my husband to the woman with her. My husband felt like a lawn boy on his own property.
Before you imply about an attitude and assume about how we have behaved with our neighbours, perhaps you might want to check to ensure that .. wow... this person went to a great deal of effort to get to know their neighbours, tried to do the right thing by not saying anything when liberties were taken on their property. Instead, you assumed we just threw up a fence (which we had every right to do) and that is why the neighbours have not been welcoming to us.
No, some neighbours have not been welcoming to us but they sure felt welcome to our yard. We didn't want to make waves and didn't say anything when they cut through. We paid the girls next door to water our plants, we bought their magazines, chocolates... everything.. When my dad died, I didn't even get a verbal consolation or a card. Nothing. After everything we have done to support them, their school, their sports, they took liberties with our yard... and gosh darn it, how dare us put in a fence?
Gee, GG, i wonder if you were one of the people cutting through our yard with the attitude, judgment and assumptions you exhibited here.
There's not any of that socialization on the street that you describe. I will chat with one neighbour at a time. I can't say I have ever seen the entire street together chatting.
I had no idea about the football games, high school productions etc. We did go to Leprechaun Days, went to the beer gardens too. I enjoyed going through the small 'midway' and at the beer gardens outside the Legion, we tried to make conversation with people, but no one reciprocated. Don't do the church thing. I do appreciate the suggestions for things to do around here.. without kids, we don't know about the stuff at the high school.
When I'm at Cub, I always donate to the kids offering to pack our bags as a fundraiser -girls hockey, cheer..etc.
I really take exception to your comment about our fence and resent your implication of my attitude. How dare you imply that putting up a fence created the neighbourhood exclusion. That is quite an interesting assumption on your part.
It is a big deal. It is our yard. Period. We didn't just 'throw up the fence' and even if we did, we have every right to. Our yard was a public pathway and we are entitled to our privacy.
We have a dog. The purpose of the fence was to make our yard safe for our dog. The rest of the yard was fenced (with other neighbour's fences) except for one area bordering on two neighbours and the person who screamed the most about our fence... her yard is fenced. Fancy that, eh? It wasn't until we grew tired of the liberties taken with our yard with absolutely NO effort to get to know us that we 'threw up the fence' at the end of our 2nd summer. So it is off putting because we want our yard to be safe and private for our dog and ourselves? WOW!
We couldn't go a day without tonnes of kids riding their bikes through our yard over our grass, running back and forth. Kids we have never seen before. I'm not talking just the neighbour kids. I couldn't be in my office without little legs walking by millions of times per day. My husband and I couldn't have private intimate time in certain places in our house for fear little kids would be doing cartwheels through our yard seeing us through the windows. We were newlyweds when we moved here!! We couldn't back out of our driveway without worrying kids would be running through. This was not just the odd kid walking through. It was constant, grass damaged from bikes, invasion of privacy. Even if it wasn't a constant thing, it is our yard and I have no obligation to explain or justify our desire for privacy on our property.
No one asked if they could cut through. They just did it. If they had made an effort to get to know us, instead of taking liberties going through our yard 20 times per day, invading our privacy, making it the neighbourhood pass thru, we may not have minded. No one asked. No one tried to get to know us. I find it really interesting you try to lay it on us with absolutely no knowledge. This is a prime example of the justifications and excuses I mentioned above as well as the tendency to blame the transplant.
It is our property. We have a right to privacy and to not have to worry about injuring kids if we back out while they are running around. We have a right to fence our yard without causing a neighbourhood incident. Funny, those who took the most liberties, their yard is fenced.
BTW, is your yard fenced? Do you have the entire neighbourhood running through your yard? You jumped to a major conclusion, made assumptions and proved the point of every transplant here...you're trying to blame me for the lack of friendliness of our neighbours when we did everything we could to accommodate them and they still took liberties with OUR yard. Even if we did put up a fence shortly after moving in. It is our right to do so. We.Have.A.Dog.
You imply it is us. We didn't complain about the kids cutting through for two summers. We didn't complain about the myriad of parents and strangers walking through our yard not making any effort to say hi, get to know us, ... no our yard was a gateway for them to go elsewhere with no desire to get to know us. One neighbour suggested we put up an electric fence for our dog because she didn't want us to put up the fence.
One person went so far as to say they felt unwelcome in our yard when we put up the fence TWO YEARS after moving in. Errrm... yeah! You overstayed your welcome! It was a guilt trip. She also said the previous owner gave her kids a 'safe haven' by letting them cut through. Since when is it my responsibility to give the neighbourhood a safe haven when very few make any effort to talk to us, get to know us, but feel perfectly welcome overtaking our property? They knew from the beginning the fence would go up because of the dog.
The fence went up dang fast when my husband was working in the garage and one neighbour from the next block over cut through with some woman we have never seen before.. said a very smug.. hiiiyeeee.. never introduced my husband to the woman with her. My husband felt like a lawn boy on his own property.
Before you imply about an attitude and assume about how we have behaved with our neighbours, perhaps you might want to check to ensure that .. wow... this person went to a great deal of effort to get to know their neighbours, tried to do the right thing by not saying anything when liberties were taken on their property. Instead, you assumed we just threw up a fence (which we had every right to do) and that is why the neighbours have not been welcoming to us.
No, some neighbours have not been welcoming to us but they sure felt welcome to our yard. We didn't want to make waves and didn't say anything when they cut through. We paid the girls next door to water our plants, we bought their magazines, chocolates... everything.. When my dad died, I didn't even get a verbal consolation or a card. Nothing. After everything we have done to support them, their school, their sports, they took liberties with our yard... and gosh darn it, how dare us put in a fence?
Gee, GG, i wonder if you were one of the people cutting through our yard with the attitude, judgment and assumptions you exhibited here.
No, I don't live near you, it wasn't me or my kids. Again, the ATTITUDE behind your fence is what is the issue, and it is displayed again in this post. I am sorry you don't like it here, but, having lived in places where a lot of people come and go, the ones that never fit in were the ones with a chip on their shoulders about the people and town around them. People aren't going to invest time in people that don't want to be there. As for your Dad, did anyone KNOW he died?
The fence issue is interesting -- because to me it sounds to utterly strange, and I feel very, very sympathetic to Sparksals -- but for what it's worth, I don't think that's a "Minnesota" issue. We currently do have kids cutting across our front yard (NOT back yard; not sure if the fence issue here refers to front, back, or both), but they're also all very polite, nice kids. Putting up a fence for privacy -- or because you like the looks of it, or have a dog, or just want to support the local fence industry, or any other reason -- is perfectly reasonable. I guess I also don't see fences as a bad thing in any way, and don't think they distract from being a "neighborhood." There's a lot of other forms of public space, including sidewalks, so there's no need to make someone's yard a cut-through. Just out of pure curiosity: where are all these people going? Are your blocks very long? And why do the kids need a "safe haven?" Although even if they are very long and there's no convenient way to get from one block to another it's still obviously not your responsibility to take on the role of public way-fare! In any case, I'm sorry that your experience in the Twin Cities has has not been very positive.
I think you should tell snoopy neighbors that you put up the fence because you wanted a little privacy for nude sunbathing.
No, I don't live near you, it wasn't me or my kids. Again, the ATTITUDE behind your fence is what is the issue, and it is displayed again in this post. I am sorry you don't like it here, but, having lived in places where a lot of people come and go, the ones that never fit in were the ones with a chip on their shoulders about the people and town around them. People aren't going to invest time in people that don't want to be there. As for your Dad, did anyone KNOW he died?
That was actually a facetious question, if it was you cutting through, GG.
Of course I have an attitude about the fence because our property and privacy was invaded with absolutely no consideration for us, the owners of the property. They did not even ask. The whole point of the fence was because we have a dog.
Please explain to me how my attitude about the fence is wrong. Why is it wrong not to want our yard constantly invaded, tire marks from bikes in our grass, people incessantly walking through? Yet everyone who yelled the loudest about it have a fence! It was taking away their cut through.
I have never screamed to anyone except for venting on this board. I have been nothing but polite and nice to the neighbours despite their liberties with our yard. We bought their kids junk, donated to their fund raisers and we are still treated like crap.
Yes, the neighbour did know my dad passed away. I know her sister through other channels and I know she was told.
I do not believe my feelings are unjustified or rude for wanting our property to be private and to expect reciprocation when we went out of our way to be nice to them.
Come move to Minneapolis! Block parties galore here, and lots of people without kids. I had forgotten your neighbors, but I definitely agree that good or bad neighbors can make a big difference in neighborhood quality of life. And I agree that kids shouldn't be cutting through yards without prior permission. I don't think it's a huge deal, but I was raised with the expectation that we would either stick to the sidewalk or the alley. It was an unspoken rule. Some of our neighbors here have a different expectation (which does drive me crazy sometimes), but they're all very nice people and great kids, and in all other ways I find them very polite.
UU - I have heard that Minnepolis neighbourhoods are friendly and that block parties et al are the norm.
Thanks for the understanding. The fact no one asked is what bugged us. Even then, we never said a word all the time it was done until the fence was going up and one sarcastically asked 'have we worn out our welcome?'. Errr. yeah, you did. The sense of entitlement to our yard and driveway was absolutely unbelievable!
Location: Mableton, GA USA (NW Atlanta suburb, 4 miles OTP)
11,334 posts, read 26,096,346 times
Reputation: 3996
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparksals
UU - I have heard that Minnepolis neighbourhoods are friendly and that block parties et al are the norm.
Thanks for the understanding. The fact no one asked is what bugged us. Even then, we never said a word all the time it was done until the fence was going up and one sarcastically asked 'have we worn out our welcome?'. Errr. yeah, you did. The sense of entitlement to our yard and driveway was absolutely unbelievable!
If the former residents of your house had no issues with them acting that way, perhaps they were simply used to being able to cut across?
You can always be friends with people moving into or recently moved to Minnesota like me I just completed my grad school in San Diego, CA and moved to Minneapolis for work. I have made some friends over here and we have a lot of fun during weekends, lots of activities. Like the fact that even though its so cold, people are still actively involved in various things.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Stick around, you totally fit into the Minnesota way of social interaction!
I just completed my grad school in San Diego, CA and moved to Minneapolis for work. I have made some friends over here and we have a lot of fun during weekends, lots of activities. Like the fact that even though its so cold, people are still actively involved in various things.
