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I understand your not wanting to respond to anything she tells you, but I sure hope someone with life experience can help her understand how the boyfriend's inability to break away from his parents will negative impact her future. I'd wouldn't send her off to talk to a third party without helping her understand the person needs to be someone older who has lived long enough to know these types of things via experience or witnessing the experiences of others. Do you have a family member or friend who is/was married to a man like that? Perhaps you could suggest she talk to so-and-so because she went through something similar.
When she says he doesn't need to move in with her, is she accepting that she will raise the child alone? Does she understand that is a very real reality in her future? Some men can't ever break away from their parents. Even if he moves in with her someday, she could have to deal with their interfering forever and her boyfriend never standing up to them and defending her wishes.
There is a fine line between with not being involved. You don't want to give unsolicited advice, but you need to give solicited advice. If she ever outright asks for your opinion, give it to her. When she's talking about issues in general and hasn't outright asked, you can ask her if she is wanting your opinion. Sometimes people do want opinions. You shouldn't stay out completely to the point you're not responding to her when she is coming to you for advice.
Part of being adult is seeking out advice when we're confused and lost. That's why you created this thread. It's not treating her like a child to give her advice when she asks for it.
Yet another good point and food for thought. Thesis exactly why I posted on here.
In a tough spot we tend to get tunnel vision and only see one way.
You all are showing me other ways of thinking that I certainly wouldn't have seen.
If she doesn't come out and ask me in these tough situations I just may asks her if she's looking for advice.
Yes, she knows that she may very well do this on her own meaning without him. She knows she won't be without me. I think in time I can learn to support her and her independence without doing FOR her sans responsibility.
It's a learning process for all of us.
I've only told one close friend so far. She is giving me a lot of needed encouragement. And I'm throwing tons of encouragement my daughter's way in the process
Didn't you say that BFs parents have just moved into a much much smaller house (probably under the assumption that their son at age 19/20 would be moving out very soon)? Now they want another adult and a baby to move in?
I haven't seen it and tried to do a search. They do not live together. She lives with us and he lives with his parents. I still pay all of her bills and his parents pay his. If they were through school I would be happy for them. As it is now, they both work part time, spend every dime they make and think they can do this.
My husband is 100% against this and has said our daughter will not live with the baby in our house.
I'm heartbroken and sick over this.
Until the baby is born and you couldn't imagine putting them in the street.
There is no good choice right now, you kick her out she will hate you and keep you from the baby. If the boys parents take her and the baby in, they will be heros to her and have all the baby time they want. Pick your battle.
Until the baby is born and you couldn't imagine putting them in the street.
There is no good choice right now, you kick her out she will hate you and keep you from the baby. If the boys parents take her and the baby in, they will be heros to her and have all the baby time they want. Pick your battle.
I have done a lot of thinking and soul searching between last week and now. She us not going to live with us or the bfs parents. She wants to live on her own with or without the bf.
I will be there to support her morally and emotionally and help her finish school. I will also love the baby. There's no question about that.
I think 18 is the worst teen age there is. I heard the same from my nieces and nephews so I was prepared when my oldest turned 18.
I don't care how old a kid is, if they are living in someone else's home they have to follow house rules. It's that simple. If they don't like them, by all means they are free to go and should while they still know everything
Well that's what I told my kids. Two moved out at 15 and one at 16.
Didn't you say that BFs parents have just moved into a much much smaller house (probably under the assumption that their son at age 19/20 would be moving out very soon)? Now they want another adult and a baby to move in?
I'm confused.
They are going to be or supposed to be. I'm confused too.
I didn't ask. She didn't tell me. I don't know if he did she made it sound like more of a statement to me.
Asking questions is reconnaissance.
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