How to deal with a pregnant teen (Mobile, child support, custody)
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This is a bunch of horse hockey. This kid has been talking to somebody who got burned really bad in issues about child support and custody IMHO. For a kid who didn't want anything to do with his newborn daughter all these demands are posturing and nothing more. I've never even heard of divorcing fathers (where there is no claim of maternal child abuse) getting that much time, and we are talking about an infant.
I hope her attorney has cajones as big as basketballs and will call his bluff. He is trying to get out of child support and your daughter is in for a world of misery with this family.
Next time some teenager is thinking about how wonderful it would be to get pregnant we all must link to this thread as a cautionary warning.
This is a bunch of horse hockey. This kid has been talking to somebody who got burned really bad in issues about child support and custody IMHO. For a kid who didn't want anything to do with his newborn daughter all these demands are posturing and nothing more. I've never even heard of divorcing fathers (where there is no claim of maternal child abuse) getting that much time, and we are talking about an infant.
I hope her attorney has cajones as big as basketballs and will call his bluff. He is trying to get out of child support and your daughter is in for a world of misery with this family.
Next time some teenager is thinking about how wonderful it would be to get pregnant we all must link to this thread as a cautionary warning.
He had a list of demands. He wants every Friday to Sunday and two eves per week. He wants every holiday and will ALLOW my daughter to have her from 9:00 Christmas Eve to 11:00 am Christmas Day.
He also wants her to agree to move no more than 20 miles away from him.
A bunch of crap.
A temp order was put in place for approx 12 hrs a week of visitation for him. They have to go to mediation next.
Not a great day but not terrible either.
Wow! That is A LOT of demands.
I suspect that he is not going to end up getting anywhere near that much time.
But, I wonder who he thinks is going to actually care for his baby all that time. Do you think that he is planning on staying home, every weekend, all weekend long plus two nights week to care for his child? Or, do you think that he is just planning on dumping your grandchild with his parents and siblings or other relatives? Will the mediator actually ask concrete, specific questions like that (who will actually be the care giver when the child is scheduled to be with you)?
No typical 19 year old boy is going to want to spend the entire weekend with a small child. or even 2 nights during the week. he would most likely pawn the kid off on others. The judge will see through that right away. He must think you are dolts if he thinks he can get anywhere near these demands.
Don't let him anywhere near that 20 mile rule. If your daughter gets on with her life she will probably fall in love with a mature adult and want to start a family with somebody else. He and she would not be able to accept transfers, move for better opportunities, etc. Again he has been talking to some shark lawyer and they are using these demands as negotiating points.
At this point I'm wondering if everybody wouldn't be better off without this jerk in the picture. Bet he would gladly bow out if he didn't have to come up with child support. This would show his true colors.
He wants every holiday and will ALLOW my daughter to have her from 9:00 Christmas Eve to 11:00 am Christmas Day.
He did a good job of showing how unreasonable he is. He has some nerve.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerseyt719
He also wants her to agree to move no more than 20 miles away from him.
The sad thing is he will be successful in getting a distance stipulation in the agreement. It might not be as restrictive as 20 miles, but he'll be able to prevent her from moving anywhere she wants.
I think that as is the case for most of these things, the lawyer is driving this crazy train. Remember the lawyer's real client is the grandparents (they are paying the bill) and the fob may not be in control. I had a family member who had to go to court to to get visitation with his preschooler. Mom wanted none. He wanted the typical every other weekend, and one night a week (but not if it interfered with school) and summer vacations to be split (they live in adjoining towns) but his lawyer insisted that they do the "ask for a pony when you really want a puppy" method and basically asked for joint custody. When my cousin said that wasn't what he wanted, the lawyer gave him all these scare tactics about judge and mediators just taking what ever amount of time was asked for and cutting it in half or less. So he asked for joint, got everyone all worked up, and then was still granted what he wanted all along, which was reasonable visitation that wouldn't mess up his sons schedule.
Maybe that is not the case here. Maybe the fob really is a ******* and doesn't want to pay child support. But given the history with the grandparents, and the fact that the lawyer likely is working for them, just something to consider. Especially since the fob has shown he is quite weak willed on his own.
Oh and as for the distance stipulation, have your daughter start playing the college and graduate school card NOW. Oh, and you mentioned she might want to be a teacher. The lawyer needs to bring up how hard it is to find a teaching position and she will of course look nearby, but her first obligation is to support child and distance stipulation are not possible right now.
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