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I didn't talk about how much I enjoyed being home with my two children when they were young. That truly is a magical time and you learn a lot. I miss those young people that they were sometimes.
Most all of my adult life's work has been in the people-helping professions and I've been reading the ongoing disagreement about being productive. And I haven't really had the kind of work where productivity can be measured. I've had a limited amount of time with people who have a specific problem and my job has been to educated them about it, help them to recognize and own how it has impeded them and encourage change that could make their lives better for them.
While I have had a number call or write much later thanking me for showing them a new path the majority I meet once and never see again. There's no way to quantify. "Look what I did. I made this person better." And it would be an act of grandiosity to even consider that I had that power. All my work has been done as a gift and an act of faith but the real work has to be done by the receiver.
This has been one of the down sides to people helping - wondering if I made a difference. But I haven't ever lived the kind of life where how many of X I have stored away or managed to produce determines my worth. Because for me I don't think it's true.
It has been important to me, and even more in retirement, to continue to try to be of use and value to other people. I'm miserable otherwise. But the true judge of my worthiness is honestly only best assessed by how I feel about myself, not what others see.
And I can measure that easily by how much peace of mind I have and my sense of satisfaction with my life. Those are the "things" I work to be productive in. Because without them I am useless.
Location: Foothills of Maryland Blue Ridge mountains
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We’re retired. Married 40 years a couple weeks ago. Still in love. This is the best time of our lives. We moved to a smaller home in a more rural area 5 years ago. That was a game changer. It’s just us and our little dog. We’re financially secure. Our daughter is content as a teacher, wife and mom. That’s rewarding
Thing is, I’m struggling health wise. I’ve been living with the aftermath of a brain injury sustained 7 years ago. And I was diagnosed with a breast cancer recurrence yesterday, prognosis is hopeful. So I’m about undergo surgery and treatment again. But still, despite that, I’m content. I don’t know how that works. I guess it’s just the perspective that comes with living life.
Excerpted from Kokonutty’s eulogy: We gather today to celebrate the great kokonutty, whose hallmark was being an Observer of Things. He never did anything, and therein lied his virtue. He was a militant non-doer, spurning the mundane materialism of accomplishment and purpose. He was a notable noticer, taking note of things in the world on a level with the great historical non-doers. None of whom come to mind by name, but that perhaps being more a function of my poor memory than anything else. The ability of Koko, as he was affectionately known, to observe a sunset or spawning salmon? Really the stuff of legends.
I think I’ll always remember how still he was.
You left out the part that he led a great long and healthy life with wonderful friends and family and approached life with gusto because he never felt obligated to follow another's silly rules that required purpose and goals to simply find happiness.
But what if your goal in life is to not have to do anything or be productive. Also what constitutes accomplishment? For someone maybe it’s just making it through the day to enjoy the sunset or walking on the beach and enjoying life. To me the business of life is enjoying any way I can and not how others think I should live it.
That's not a rational goal, and would indicate mental issues. The need to be productive and to achieve goals is not a choice, it's an evolutionary imperative. Everyone, including those being arbitrarily contrary in this thread, have goals, take action to achieve those goals, and seek to be productive. It's a basic component of being a rational animal, aka a human being.
You left out the part that he led a great long and healthy life with wonderful friends and family and approached life with gusto because he never felt obligated to follow another's silly rules that required purpose and goals to simply find happiness.
I didn't forget that part because it didn't exist, doesn't exist, will not exist, and cannot exist. Productivity and love are metaphysical basics of human functioning, happiness requires it. You wouldn't have any family or friends in the first place without being goal directed, and if you did, they certainly wouldn't respect an imagined version of you that did not accomplish something. In fact, being called lazy is one of the most devastating pejoratives in the insult lexicon.
Sorry, but you don't live the life you are faux-defending, nor should you, because it's a life unworthy of a human being.
I didn't talk about how much I enjoyed being home with my two children when they were young. That truly is a magical time and you learn a lot. I miss those young people that they were sometimes.
Most all of my adult life's work has been in the people-helping professions and I've been reading the ongoing disagreement about being productive. And I haven't really had the kind of work where productivity can be measured. I've had a limited amount of time with people who have a specific problem and my job has been to educated them about it, help them to recognize and own how it has impeded them and encourage change that could make their lives better for them.
While I have had a number call or write much later thanking me for showing them a new path the majority I meet once and never see again. There's no way to quantify. "Look what I did. I made this person better." And it would be an act of grandiosity to even consider that I had that power. All my work has been done as a gift and an act of faith but the real work has to be done by the receiver.
This has been one of the down sides to people helping - wondering if I made a difference. But I haven't ever lived the kind of life where how many of X I have stored away or managed to produce determines my worth. Because for me I don't think it's true.
It has been important to me, and even more in retirement, to continue to try to be of use and value to other people. I'm miserable otherwise. But the true judge of my worthiness is honestly only best assessed by how I feel about myself, not what others see.
And I can measure that easily by how much peace of mind I have and my sense of satisfaction with my life. Those are the "things" I work to be productive in. Because without them I am useless.
Everything you just said is consistent with living a productive life, and that, along with love from others who value and appreciate you, is part of the 2 basics for a happy life. Productivity doesn't necessarily entail amassing material. Making a positive difference in the lives of others as part of a planned and executed function is naked productivity.
That's the point. Love and career, and the career can be an amazing cool job or raising a family.
Lodestar, my professional life was also in the helping professions. My favorite career was evaluating clients vocationally and like you I often only saw them once. Occasionally I would get a letter saying I had really helped. When I retired and taught one college class I was evaluated by the students. I have helped many people in my private life but recently at close to 70 decided it’s my time. I occasionally help a friend but it’s no longer my focus. I also enjoyed raising my kids. One of my friends from graduate school recently died and we used to take all our kids to a cabin in the summer to play games and relax. It brought back many good memories.
I didn't forget that part because it didn't exist, doesn't exist, will not exist, and cannot exist. Productivity and love are metaphysical basics of human functioning, happiness requires it. You wouldn't have any family or friends in the first place without being goal directed, and if you did, they certainly wouldn't respect an imagined version of you that did not accomplish something. In fact, being called lazy is one of the most devastating pejoratives in the insult lexicon.
Sorry, but you don't live the life you are faux-defending, nor should you, because it's a life unworthy of a human being.
Now get to work!
This sets new heights for both ignorance and arrogance and a new low for humility. You'll never know what you've been missing.
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella
That's not a rational goal, and would indicate mental issues. The need to be productive and to achieve goals is not a choice, it's an evolutionary imperative. Everyone, including those being arbitrarily contrary in this thread, have goals, take action to achieve those goals, and seek to be productive. It's a basic component of being a rational animal, aka a human being.
I don’t feel the need to be productive or achieve goals. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
I’m not sure why you feel the need to tell others that unless they life under your definition that they aren’t happy. Everyone is different and some are happy existing as they do.
I don’t feel the need to be productive or achieve goals. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
I’m not sure why you feel the need to tell others that unless they life under your definition that they aren’t happy. Everyone is different and some are happy existing as they do.
Happiness actually has to be achieved. It is not possible to just “be happy”. It has to be earned through goals and actions. It’s not an idle state of being, it is the positive emotional aftermath of rational action. I think it is possible to misunderstand one’s own inner state and assert they are happy when they would more accurately be described as non-distressed.
Last edited by Marc Paolella; 10-08-2021 at 05:20 AM..
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