"Those were the best days of my life" (emotionally, states)
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Yes. As long as you are alive and are a functioning rational animal, you need goals. They can change once achievements are met or failed at, but there has to be something on the agenda to push forward to. These shrink with age, but never disappear until we cease to exist. Same with love and companionship. We need it until death. That’s why being old and alone is so distasteful. Shrunken vistas and no one to share with. Sounds kind of like... death.
The 'goal' for many if not most people seems to me ... is to earn as much salary/pension as possible for as few hours possible so they can enjoy their time not working ... with their family, watching their kids kick a soccer ball, going to Cancun, etc. Or having enough money to live in a wealthy neighborhood so their kid can attend a good school.
So, in a roundabout way, the other poster is right. The 'goals' for many people, like to become a pharmacist or an executive of an engineering company, is just a means to an end to 'hang out'.
The 'goal' for many if not most people seems to me ... is to earn as much salary/pension as possible for as few hours possible so they can enjoy their time not working ... with their family, watching their kids kick a soccer ball, going to Cancun, etc. Or having enough money to live in a wealthy neighborhood so their kid can attend a good school.
So, in a roundabout way, the other poster is right. The 'goals' for many people, like to become a pharmacist or an executive of an engineering company, is just a means to an end to 'hang out'.
If you hate your job that may be a goal. But that’s not happiness. And it’s one’s fault if they let that happen. Happiness is maximal if you love your job. And love your leisure and hobbies. A good work-life balance is NOT minimal work to hang out doing nothing. It is enjoying your job AND enjoying your leisure time. And even leisure time should be goal directed. Hobbies, volunteering, working around the house, listening to music, exercising creativity. Humans aren’t meant to do nothing. That’s what sleep and death are for.
My dad was a really happy guy and didn’t love his job. He found his happiness in his family, friends and volunteer work. I think you can find your happiness in many places.
I am one of the most goal oriented, focused person among my peer. I had been called 'a task master' by friends and 'an overachiever' by foes. However, my life goals have never been to be always productive especially in retirement.
IMO, retirement is the time to relax, to enjoy life (walking on the beach, sipping coffee/wine while watching birds, bees, sunset etc. or DOING NOTHING). Most if not all retirees had worked hard and was productive most of their life (going to school, working, raising children, saving, building their 'networth' and cultivating life relationships with family, friends, neighbors, community). We had done our fair share and paid our dues to society. We deserve our hard-earned, carefree and 'just-chilling-out' time in our retirement.
I am fine with driven people like Marc who wants to continue to be goal-oriented and productive. I disagree with his assertion that everybody MUST BE LIKE HIM. Humans are not meant to do nothing but this ONLY applies during our younger, working days when we have to do SOMETHING to live, to survive.
Retirees can do NOTHING if they choose; if it makes them happy. We don't need no stinking life preacher to tell us what to do with our life ;-)
If you hate your job that may be a goal. But that’s not happiness. And it’s one’s fault if they let that happen. Happiness is maximal if you love your job. And love your leisure and hobbies. A good work-life balance is NOT minimal work to hang out doing nothing. It is enjoying your job AND enjoying your leisure time. And even leisure time should be goal directed. Hobbies, volunteering, working around the house, listening to music, exercising creativity. Humans aren’t meant to do nothing. That’s what sleep and death are for.
Wow...
I guess I should have known better than to reply to you considering the kind of stuff you said the last time I conversed with you, but I didn't for some reason...
I am having the best days of my life, but they are different than the best days previously. My happiness comes from much different sources than when I was, for example, in my twenties. Discovery of new things made life so exciting back then. Now I have discovered and re-discovered many of those things, and not the same thrill though still fun.
Certainly there are things to discover and adventures to have, and I plan to have them, but I can more easily appreciate slow joys now. For example, the thrills of nature and its changes and appreciation of being able to walk again after surgery. And I will dance again, too.
Darned if I didn't take those things for granted before. I really did. I think it was partly hormonal.
I am one of the most goal oriented, focused person among my peer. I had been called 'a task master' by friends and 'an overachiever' by foes. However, my life goals have never been to be always productive especially in retirement.
IMO, retirement is the time to relax, to enjoy life (walking on the beach, sipping coffee/wine while watching birds, bees, sunset etc. or DOING NOTHING). Most if not all retirees had worked hard and was productive most of their life (going to school, working, raising children, saving, building their 'networth' and cultivating life relationships with family, friends, neighbors, community). We had done our fair share and paid our dues to society. We deserve our hard-earned, carefree and 'just-chilling-out' time in our retirement.
I am fine with driven people like Marc who wants to continue to be goal-oriented and productive. I disagree with his assertion that everybody MUST BE LIKE HIM. Humans are not meant to do nothing but this ONLY applies during our younger, working days when we have to do SOMETHING to live, to survive.
Retirees can do NOTHING if they choose; if it makes them happy. We don't need no stinking life preacher to tell us what to do with our life ;-)
Nobody must be like me. But everyone must be like humans. And that means having goals and doing things from the time you can until the day you die. Even in retirement. Even in disability. Retirement is NOT the time to enjoy life. LIFE is the time to enjoy life. You don’t wait until you are a 60-something on the health-to-death downslope to stare at birds and call that enjoyment of life. I’ve always done that, even when I was 20, but that’s not a goal, that’s garnishment.
This is all silly anyway. None of you “observers” believe what you are saying. Everyone of you, in retirement, will be doing things, and you know it. There will be plans, trips, hobbies, and activities. None of you will be “looking at nature” and “drinking tea” on the porch all day every day.
And if could do that, which you can’t, you’d be pre-dead.
Happiness actually has to be achieved. It is not possible to just “be happy”. It has to be earned through goals and actions. It’s not an idle state of being, it is the positive emotional aftermath of rational action. I think it is possible to misunderstand one’s own inner state and assert they are happy when they would more accurately be described as non-distressed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella
No, because appreciating and revering sunsets and art and nature and starry skies does not require intransigent complacency in other important areas of life. Areas which require rational goals and directed action.
It would appear we have reached an impasse and can agree to disagree. It seems all relevant opinions have been expressed.
You continue to express your opinions as if there is some type of rulebook regarding these things when all they amount to is your outlook on not only how you live your life, but on how everyone must live theirs. You define happiness to your own satisfaction rather than with any definition, dictionary or otherwise. Not only that, you have now gotten into the minds of unknown others by telling them what they misunderstand.
What, other than hubris, allows you to continue to make these claims as if they are established fact? Support your claims or admit they are simply the constructs of your own mind.
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella
Nobody must be like me. But everyone must be like humans. And that means having goals and doing things from the time you can until the day you die. Even in retirement. Even in disability. Retirement is NOT the time to enjoy life. LIFE is the time to enjoy life. You don’t wait until you are a 60-something on the health-to-death downslope to stare at birds and call that enjoyment of life. I’ve always done that, even when I was 20, but that’s not a goal, that’s garnishment.
This is all silly anyway. None of you “observers” believe what you are saying. Everyone of you, in retirement, will be doing things, and you know it. There will be plans, trips, hobbies, and activities. None of you will be “looking at nature” and “drinking tea” on the porch all day every day.
And if could do that, which you can’t, you’d be pre-dead.
I think the result of this is the definition of a goal. How big must it be? How many must you have. What if you think you have a goal but someone else doesn’t think it’s a viable one?
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