"Those were the best days of my life" (vacations, moving)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Now. Coming up on 40 and just about everything I ever wanted or dreamed of I have and then some (within reason). It'll just get better, too.
My mother tells me her 40s were some of her best years. My 20s were a disaster, 30s much much better.
Just the opposite for me.
My post-HS late teens through 20s were my high water point & I think of some random time from then quite often. On the other hand my 40's were a dark period that I had to just keep my head down & bull through on the promise that things had to get better someday in the future & they did.
Now at the precipice of 70yo I feel pretty good tbh but the fact that the road ahead is so much shorter now & I don't feel our society, or world, is improving year by year and that casts a shadow for me. Upon reflection I think the main difference between now & my 20s, besides the obvious physical issues, is optimism or the lack thereof.
Well, I'm getting a kick out of the conversation. It's classical clash of personality types, both correct for their inclinations and inherent abilities.
Maybe Marc, with your strong materialistic viewpoint, if you had another look at Maslow. He didn't say "productive." He said "fruitful." It's a clue to the nonmaterialistic achievements he was talking about.
I'd love to have a cup of coffee and discuss these different approaches with the two of you. Feeling so compelled to peacemake.
Do you have ANY idea how self-righteous you sound?
Why do you and others think you are entitled to decide how everyone should live their life, as long as no one is actually harmed and no laws are broken?
.
Yeah but that was a good eulogy.
I don’t advocate passing a law to force people to pursue the most rational course that will lead to the highest degree of happiness. I don’t favor any laws. However, those methodologies do exist and are grist for the mill of discussion. And so we discuss them.
My post-HS late teens through 20s were my high water point & I think of some random time from then quite often. On the other hand my 40's were a dark period that I had to just keep my head down & bull through on the promise that things had to get better someday in the future & they did.
Now at the precipice of 70yo I feel pretty good tbh but the fact that the road ahead is so much shorter now & I don't feel our society, or world, is improving year by year and that casts a shadow for me. Upon reflection I think the main difference between now & my 20s, besides the obvious physical issues, is optimism or the lack thereof.
Sorry to hear that. I had several struggles in my younger life that extended into my 20s.
But life has been pretty sweet since 30. I married, moved to LA for a few years to do the city vibe "just to do it", came back to glorious Knox bought a house that's about doubled in value....life is good. I pray for continued good health.
I'll be 40 soon. Kinda hard to believe. But bring it on!!! I'm ready.
Well, I'm getting a kick out of the conversation. It's classical clash of personality types, both correct for their inclinations and inherent abilities.
Maybe Marc, with your strong materialistic viewpoint, if you had another look at Maslow. He didn't say "productive." He said "fruitful." It's a clue to the nonmaterialistic achievements he was talking about.
I'd love to have a cup of coffee and discuss these different approaches with the two of you. Feeling so compelled to peacemake.
I don’t negotiate with terrorists . But seriously everything about Maslow’s hierarchy screams action and planning and doing. That’s the beauty of being a human being. We can imagine something, and make it real through reason and action. The whole idea of “retiring” from this capability is repugnant.
I believe the balance lies somewhere between striving and relaxing. Maybe that sounds simplistic. But while there is great joy in reaching a goal, there is also great joy in unexpected pleasures - and I don't know which one brings more joy to individuals at the end of the day.
When I was married to my husband, I was cognizant enough to appreciate the dogs and a cup of coffee, out on the patio with him, overlooking our beautiful property, in the mornings. I was also cognizant of the new fence that he and I put up together, the pool that we had both worked hard to be able to afford, etc. So it was a mixture of goals we'd met and simpler joys. For instance, it may sound trite but no amount of work I do can ever produce that scent that fills the air after a spring rain. No amount of goal setting or goal reaching on my part can ever produce the love of a puppy. Nothing I WANT to do can ever produce the smell of a cup of coffee or the taste of a blackberry that's been warming in the sun all day or the sweetness of a newborn baby's breath when they yawn. Life without those things, or similar things, that we don't produce and may not even know we want them till we're struck by them (or till we miss them) would be sad indeed.
Stop with the melodrama. A dishonest interlocutor is not a liar. It’s a person so wrapped up in their own bias and ego that they intentionally misunderstand and obfuscate points made in a discussion. It’s clumsy deflection, not lying. It’s actually not as good as lying, because it is transparent and ineffective.
So Maslow explained it this way:
“The more we learn about man’s natural tendencies, the easier it will be to tell him how to be good, how to be happy, how to be fruitful, how to respect himself, how to love, how to fulfill his highest potentialities … The thing to do seems to be to find out what one is really like inside; deep down, as a member of the human species and as a particular individual”
An excerpt from the website below states:
“One of Abraham Maslow’s lasting and most significant contributions to psychology is what he calls the “hierarchy of needs.” In his quest to understand human motivation and the pursuit of happiness, he formulated a list of basic human needs that had to be fulfilled for maximum psychological health. Through his interviews and studies, he came to categorize a hierarchical list of needs that need to be fulfilled for increasing life satisfaction”
What I am adding to this in the context of reflecting upon our “best days”, is that the best days in our life are when we are taking action to meet these needs (productivity), and seeing a reflection of our value in the eyes of another (romantic love, friendship, etc).
Since Maslow and other behavioral psychologists who have studied this identify items on the hierarchy as basic human needs, we are never relieved of the responsibility to take action to fulfill these needs. Not when we are young, not when we are old. If we evade reality and neglect these needs, we are not as happy as we can be. We might be relatively content, or non-distressed, or emotionally anesthetized. Aka, going through the motions, or phoning it in.
But the best days in our life, the happiest says, are characterized by a high degree of productivity and love. It really can’t be otherwise, because we have a certain fundamental nature as human beings.
Where is your honesty? To call someone dishonest is inherently accusing them of lying. Full stop. I have done nothing dishonest and told no lies. Your insistence on reinterpreting another's theory as setting a benchmark for the lives of all others is simply another sign of your ego overruling your thought process.
Once again, you have been asked, then challenged, to produce a source for your claim that happiness is attainable only through goalsetting and have failed miserably at the task. You have also violated the terms of service here, and claimed you were done with the conversation but crawled back to spew more of your unsupportable nonsense.
I've had two really, really good times in my life. The first was when I moved to Germany and lived there for three years. Yes, I was married to my ex husband but he was gone all the time - LOL. My kids were small but early school age. It was great. This was in the early 90s. I loaded up those kids and we traveled around Europe together and had a blast. I lived in a German apartment and got to experience living in a foreign country (again - first time was in Japan) and I loved it.
The second time was my entire marriage to my darling husband (not the ex). We were together for fifteen years and he was just so funny, so smart, so handsome and trustworthy and we just got along great. We had a lot of outside stressors but we also had some good accomplishments together. He passed away unexpectedly last year but honestly, though he was too young (62), he had a terrific death (sudden, massive heart attack that he never saw coming) - after a good life. And it was topped by our marriage - we were best friends, and lots of people never get to experience such a fabulous relationship so I am very grateful for it.
I had a wonderful time & adventure growing up a U.S. Army brat. We lived there three years outside of Mannheim, Germany, in Benjamin Franklin Village. I went to my first three years of high school there. It was a beautiful country side/ forests/ castles. The Army provided everything we could want & more. Like a nice housing area/ community center/ teen club/ px/ gym/ commisary/ bowling lanes/ movie theater.
I worked bagging groceries at the commisary, & at the bowling alley.
My participating in high school sports, we were fortunate to be able to travel to other american high schools in other German towns, to play them in our league. ( gut bier )
It was a wonderful experience.
Kathryn, i am so very sorry your beloved husband passed at a young age. (((hugs)))
My beloved dad made it through serving in WWll & the Korean War. He passed from a heart attack when he was 44, at home.
We enjoyed much beauty & wonders in Army forts we lived in across the states.
Where is your honesty? To call someone dishonest is inherently accusing them of lying. Full stop. I have done nothing dishonest and told no lies. Your insistence on reinterpreting another's theory as setting a benchmark for the lives of all others is simply another sign of your ego overruling your thought process.
Once again, you have been asked, then challenged, to produce a source for your claim that happiness is attainable only through goalsetting and have failed miserably at the task. You have also violated the terms of service here, and claimed you were done with the conversation but crawled back to spew more of your unsupportable nonsense.
You can simply block me and stop responding. Or else you’re just going to get yourself agitated and then we’ll have to signal for the attendants again.
I had a wonderful time & adventure growing up a U.S. Army brat. We lived there three years outside of Mannheim, Germany, in Benjamin Franklin Village. I went to my first three years of high school there. It was a beautiful country side/ forests/ castles. The Army provided everything we could want & more. Like a nice housing area/ community center/ teen club/ px/ gym/ commisary/ bowling lanes/ movie theater.
I worked bagging groceries at the commisary, & at the bowling alley.
My participating in high school sports, we were fortunate to be able to travel to other american high schools in other German towns, to play them in our league. ( gut bier )
It was a wonderful experience.
Kathryn, i am so very sorry your beloved husband passed at a young age. (((hugs)))
My beloved dad made it through serving in WWll & the Korean War. He passed from a heart attack when he was 44, at home.
We enjoyed much beauty & wonders in Army forts we lived in across the states.
Wow, I hate to hear that about your dad too. My condolences! And thank you regarding my husband.
But I loved reading about your time in Germany. I lived in Aschaffenburg, which is between Frankfurt and Wurzburg - I absolutely loved it and in fact have been back to visit several times since those days. What a beautiful country!
I know exactly what you mean about different states and different posts/bases. I've lived in the Newport News, VA area (Hampton Roads area), Maryland, Fort Bragg, Fort Benning, Fort Hood, etc. I think the only place I didn't much care for was Fort Hood, which ironically is in the state I've now lived in (and loved) for nearly 30 years. But such good times - I've had a blessed life. I also lived in Japan at Yokota AFB when I was a kid. I loved that too - loved Japan.
My kids have been stationed all over the place and I've enjoyed visiting them as well - in fact, I'm planning a trip to Germany to visit my daughter in Stuttgart this Christmas! WOOHOOO!!!!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
