Not getting beyond the first/second date in LA (guy, family, call)

[PDF]

Originally Posted by disgruntled la native

Not true. That's an assumption. For one, I don't date women. Never have, never will. I'm about as neutral an observer as it gets. But I agree with everything ElysianEagle has said.

To answer your previous post, Bay Area women may not be as physically beautiful but I've heard they aren't nearly as choosy as the ones in LA.

Women in LA tend to be brainwashed, jaded, and materialistic when it comes to dating.

Wow. Um, am I supposed to read into all that?

[disgruntled la native]

Originally Posted by FlowerpotFlowers

Well, going back to what I said about people's genitals and choices... I have an ugly friend with high standards. He has many great qualities as a person but refuses to settle on an average girl (and sadly enough, he is below average). Who am I to tell him that he must settle? I may softly suggest it, but ultimately it is his choice whether he can live with loneliness.

I guess I understand your frustration...but then I would say you should look for opportunities elsewhere instead of waiting for girls you deem 'average' to settle on you! Maybe they don't feel average? Maybe you throw off a vibe that you don't think they're 'all that' and they 'should' be into you? You never know.

We're not proposing a law forcing women to settle with a certain type of guy. It's just an observation and suggestion. Most men in LA are frustrated with dating. Most women are too. Why? We listed the reasons. Much of it has to do with women being too choosy.

Your "ugly" friend is gonna probably be alone unless he's very rich. Most "average" women looking for Channing Tatum are gonna be alone too.

And none of this applies to me, as I said earlier, I don't date women. So this is about as neutral as it gets.

[ElysianEagle]

Originally Posted by FlowerpotFlowers

As far as things being skewed towards one race...whoa, you want to talk about egos now!! You seem to be outraged that women of all races first consider their own and then caucasian.

you're getting there, but try harder.

as i mentioned before (and you completely ignored, once again to serve your own stance), i have no problem with ppl considering their own race, or even caucasian after their own race. i was merely pointing out to the OP that if you're foreign, and not the "right kind" of foreign, you might have to deal with women holding that against you. in the course of my debate with you, i even provided links to justify my position.

you, however, seem to have taken quite an objection to my pointing this fact out, on grounds that i'm still not sure of. you haven't provided any evidence to factually counter my statements, and your entire argument boils down to: "deal with it". of course i'm dealing with it, as are countless other non-white males in this country - there isn't any other choice, is there? i don't know what your race/ethnicity is, but your reaction in this thread is very similar to that of a white person when "white privilege" is brought up.

but this doesn't negate or nullify anything i've said before. until you actually show that my facts are inaccurate, you really don't have much to add to this thread, do you?

Originally Posted by FlowerpotFlowers

Meanwhile, there is no mention of your community of women from you. Apparently you don't care who they choose because you don't want them!

i never mentioned what community i'm from, because i don't think it's relevant to this discussion. my point again was that women either prefer their own kind, or white guys. so your statement above is moot.

Originally Posted by FlowerpotFlowers

You have some nerve bringing race into this. You 'do' have a problem with who others date when you are not included.

it IS problematic when entire races (and not just 1 race, but multiple races) are seen as less attractive and unworthy of dating. if you think this state of affairs is just fine and dandy, you're most likely among the privileged who don't have to deal with being looked upon as "unworthy" in this manner.

Originally Posted by FlowerpotFlowers

people are free to pursue whomever they wish and ignore the advances of a whole race(s) if it isn't what they desire. You are something else.

again, i already pointed out to you in a prior post that i don't believe ppl should be forced to date who they don't want to date. however, pointing out a widespread racial preference most likely the result of a cultural bias, isn't the same as saying that people shouldn't be allowed to do what they want. i know that subtlety is a bit hard for you to deal with, as has been evidenced by your posts in this thread, but what you think i'm saying isn't really what i'm saying.

Originally Posted by FlowerpotFlowers

If the whole population of models in the U.S. chooses to overlook everyone but models or actors...is that excluding a whole lot of people? Well, yes. Who is that too bad for? Everyone who wants them who isn't a model or actor. Too bad, that's life. Deal with it.

that's quite a straw man you've pulled there, did you come up with it all by yourself?

[FlowerpotFlowers]

Originally Posted by disgruntled la native

We're not proposing a law forcing women to settle with a certain type of guy. It's just an observation and suggestion. Most men in LA are frustrated with dating. Most women are too. Why? We listed the reasons. Much of it has to do with women being too choosy.

Your "ugly" friend is gonna probably be alone unless he's very rich. Most "average" women looking for Channing Tatum are gonna be alone too.

And none of this applies to me, as I said earlier, I don't date women. So this is about as neutral as it gets.

Well, here is another alternative. These 'great' non-douchebag guys can lower 'their' standards and reach out to the girls who will accept their love.

[FlowerpotFlowers]

Originally Posted by ElysianEagle

you're getting there, but try harder.

as i mentioned before (and you completely ignored, once again to serve your own stance), i have no problem with ppl considering their own race, or even caucasian after their own race. i was merely pointing out to the OP that if you're foreign, and not the "right kind" of foreign, you might have to deal with women holding that against you. in the course of my debate with you, i even provided links to justify my position.

you, however, seem to have taken quite an objection to my pointing this fact out, on grounds that i'm still not sure of. you haven't provided any evidence to factually counter my statements, and your entire argument boils down to: "deal with it". of course i'm dealing with it, as are countless other non-white males in this country - there isn't any other choice, is there? i don't know what your race/ethnicity is, but your reaction in this thread is very similar to that of a white person when "white privilege" is brought up.

but this doesn't negate or nullify anything i've said before. until you actually show that my facts are inaccurate, you really don't have much to add to this thread, do you?



i never mentioned what community i'm from, because i don't think it's relevant to this discussion. my point again was that women either prefer their own kind, or white guys. so your statement above is moot.



it IS problematic when entire races (and not just 1 race, but multiple races) are seen as less attractive and unworthy of dating. if you think this state of affairs is just fine and dandy, you're most likely among the privileged who don't have to deal with being looked upon as "unworthy" in this manner.



again, i already pointed out to you in a prior post that i don't believe ppl should be forced to date who they don't want to date. however, pointing out a widespread racial preference most likely the result of a cultural bias, isn't the same as saying that people shouldn't be allowed to do what they want. i know that subtlety is a bit hard for you to deal with, as has been evidenced by your posts in this thread, but what you think i'm saying isn't really what i'm saying.



that's quite a straw man you've pulled there, did you come up with it all by yourself?

You just sounded like you were complaining about other people's choices and it irritated me. I am a minority too. I don't have white privilege. I feel I have been looked upon favorably and unfavorably by different people...so yes, I 'have' been deemed unworthy at times...but not all the time. You win some, you lose some, right? As far as a cultural bias, I don't know. Maybe because white people are the yang to the ying in the world...so people (even who are dark) desire them. I would guess if dark people were a minority in the world, they would also be coveted. Maybe that is why you had such luck in Poland! Maybe you didn't like that I said 'deal with it'...but this is how I talk to myself. I wish everyone just thought the same way as me so they would have more peace.

For the record, I don't think that anyone should be abused or treated badly in life...whether this is from the minority or majority...it just isn't right.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by new to LA

Most dates have ended well with a passionate kiss or a not so passionate kiss.

Sounds like you shouldn't be going for a kiss. A kiss is not a gratuity, like an after-dinner mint. It's not your "due", just because you paid for dinner. A kiss is an intimate act. Don't take them for granted.

[disgruntled la native]

Originally Posted by FlowerpotFlowers

Well, here is another alternative. These 'great' non-douchebag guys can lower 'their' standards and reach out to the girls who will accept their love.

Supply and demand. There's 100 girls for every one of those guys.

BTW, the "great" guys are usually the douchebags because - they can be.

The real great guys are the average Joes with a heart of gold.

[PDF]

Originally Posted by disgruntled la native

Supply and demand. There's 100 girls for every one of those guys.

BTW, the "great" guys are usually the douchebags because - they can be.

The real great guys are the average Joes with a heart of gold.

You seem to really judge the entire population of LA rather quickly, particularly in regards to dating. Why is that? Are you truly disgruntled?

[disgruntled la native]

Originally Posted by PDF

You seem to really judge the entire population of LA rather quickly, particularly in regards to dating. Why is that? Are you truly disgruntled?

Just realistic. I know what I'm talking about because I have worked and studied dating patterns in LA. It's not the entire population of LA, btw, it's just a certain segment that tends to be in the affluent areas.

[PDF]

Originally Posted by disgruntled la native

Just realistic. I know what I'm talking about because I have worked and studied dating patterns in LA. It's not the entire population of LA, btw, it's just a certain segment that tends to be in the affluent areas.

You sure? I mean, your recent posts seem to be you generalizing everyone.