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Old 06-20-2022, 02:03 PM
 
4,299 posts, read 2,825,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trobesmom View Post
Ideally, yes, it would be great to have two-parent households, parents who both love their children and each other. However, there are way too many households who have fathers who are there in name only, who either abuse their children, or cause such turmoil because they themselves are unhappy. I used to ask my mom why she didn't leave my dad because they fought all the time. The only times we were happy in our home was when he was at work. Sometimes having fathers at home isn't always for the best.
Same. I always said I would be so much better off if I had had someone like Adam Sandler in my life but that didn't happen so you know what they say better to be alone than in bad company. The only reason we had any happiness in that early time of my life was because of my grandma..she was the only glue that held the sinking ship together but she said she should leave him, I did..pretty much everyone did. It took too long.


Quote:
Originally Posted by NJmmadude View Post
We can either learn from our parents and do better, or repeat their mistakes.
This has always been so difficult to me. You can want to be so far removed from them that instead of repeating the crap that one of them did you do the exact opposite and sometimes that's not good either.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
Those problems also exist strongly in households where the father doesn't love the kids and makes that clear.

A father who loves and has a close loving relationship with his children makes such an enormous difference. He has to not just be there. He has to communicate that he's pleased with his kids and proud of them.
Yeah my mom was probably partially to thank and her parents for some of that not happening but I almost didn't graduate high school and I almost dropped out of college before finishing my degree.


Quote:
Originally Posted by erieguy View Post
Or they’re unhappy because their wives make them that way…and let’s not act like the woman didn’t have a choice who to mate/marry. It’s a 2 way street, but funny how only the man is blamed…and many don’t leave because they can’t make it on their own. Again, poor planning on not looking ahead to consequences that can occur, yet there’s sOOO many examples to learn from.
Ngl I do hold some resentment for being born. I don't understand why she couldn't have me in the state she was born at.
Also there is no shortage of being blamed..they made sure of that, even blamed my mother for my decisions. I also have ragged on her plenty too myself but I can't hate her we just butt heads. Important thing to ask is "who showed up?" and a lot of the time we're more prone to being that way because of what happened.

Quote:
Originally Posted by erieguy View Post
There’s obviously a lot of scorned and angry women who would never believe or admit this was the case. They’ll blame the man no matter what even though it’s an obvious 2 way street. It’s hilarious that when many put themselves in these situations, that they not only cry for divorce, at least 1/2 of everything, child support, etc…, because they can’t make it on their own, and even worse how they do everything they can to keep the father from seeing their children. The divorce numbers don’t lie. Anyone that doesn’t get a pre-nup can expect huge consequences and lawyer fees. My buddy’s a family law attorney and the horror stories we hear are crAAAzy, in addition to folks we know that have gone through a divorce.
I used to know a guy with a wife like that. Yeah some women are a word I can't say on here and it makes me ashamed of my gender. There's one I know of now too that I'm not going to share any details about for privacy reasons that I hope to god she divorces him (if he doesn't do it first). I cannot stand her and what I know she is likely doing to him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by erieguy View Post
Lol. Employers are the ones that build businesses and create jobs for folks to make money, but it’s hilarious how you think owners of businesses do nothing…and entitlement is thinking one deserves more while taking a job they agreed to and the pay they receive.

And those jobs weren’t/aren’t intended to do so. Putting oneself in a position to not be able to get more than an entry level job while supporting a family is poor planning and isn’t anyone else’s fault.

Walmart has a huge number of employees making livable wages.

The Walmart owner is more entitled to make more money along with the stockholders depending on how much they have invested…and nobody’s stopping anyone from starting their own business so they can do the same thing.

Nope, entitlement is thinking one deserves more than they have or make compared to other folks who planned accordingly to make themselves more valuable, and thinking one deserves what others have without working for it.

Perhaps you should start a business and pay everyone what you see fit versus expecting others to pay for what you see fit. You’re entitled to do that.
So you not only acknowledge that kids can not only end up with bad parenting you think it's wrong to do that to them but then you say crap about entitlement which would make more sense if you were talking about conceiving a child but the tone seems to say even people who are legally childless.

Quote:
Originally Posted by naicha View Post
As mentioned, nobody is stopping Anyone from creating their own business and paying whatever wage an employee deems fair. Like a "Bob's Red Mill" oatmeal brand, exp.
A lot of rich/more experienced people are and someone made sure to make the road difficult for me to do so a long time ago.

Quote:
Originally Posted by odinloki1 View Post
If everyone “betters themselves” then that is the new baseline and people gain nothing for their effort. Bettering oneself does not mean that a better job will automatically appear.

Maybe you would just like us to repeat the mantra “I will work harder” until the body breaks and we are shipped off to the glue factory.

Quite Orwellian of you Napoleon.
I have bettered myself that's the worst part..just nobody who matters cares so it doesn't help me economically.
I am tired. I want to go home and by home I mean my real home..the 90s either that or just ride off somewhere maybe to one of my favorite tv shows but I am happy just to move to another state. This being an adult thing is so overrated. I never wanted to be it anyways. Working today is just BS. Even when you have a fairly tolerable job it's not good enough you are still not really in control.

Quote:
Originally Posted by richardstarkey View Post
All this identity nonsense is tampering with nature and evolution. You know, “science”.
You think people are screwy now, wait 20 years.
We’ll have people married to their cats and writing them off as dependents, adding them to health policies, co-applicants on mortgages, etc…we’re opening the floodgates.
Ooh wouldn't marry a cat ew but they ARE dependents. The law just doesn't want to treat them like so and why not? I'm not really using mine so their needs are much more expensive for the insurance.

Last edited by Nickchick; 06-20-2022 at 02:28 PM..
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Old 06-20-2022, 02:23 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,456 posts, read 53,011,596 times
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I've listened to Larry Elder on the radio off and on over the years and he's been beating the lack of fathers particularly among black folks for years, but it's an issue for all.
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Old 06-20-2022, 02:28 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 33,147,931 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I've listened to Larry Elder on the radio off and on over the years and he's been beating the lack of fathers particularly among black folks for years, but it's an issue for all.
It is. And with abortion restricted, it's going to be a bigger one, so everyone hold onto your seats, it's going to be a hell of a bumpy ride for this nation.
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Old 06-20-2022, 02:32 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,456 posts, read 53,011,596 times
Reputation: 52954
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
It is. And with abortion restricted, it's going to be a bigger one, so everyone hold onto your seats, it's going to be a hell of a bumpy ride for this nation.
I never had kids as you may know, I've mentioned that on CD a few times over the years. My two buddies I have from way way back, they both have a couple of kids each and they seem like good fathers.

All is not lost, but it's something we should be mindful of.
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Old 06-20-2022, 03:02 PM
 
6,074 posts, read 6,074,784 times
Reputation: 1916
Quote:
Originally Posted by TamaraSavannah View Post
But......it is entertainment and would my real life world be entertaining? Probably not but on the other hand, it probably has or has had information that children should not be exposed to. They are the reference books of what I do, such "The Sexual Exploitation of Children" or "Death Investigator's Handbook" (2 of the ones I can read from my bookshelf as I type this). If I had to bring a child into this house, I would worry about all this information that they might get their hands on for I believe that childhood is precious and should be held on to as long as possible.

Is such information that terrible? I remember being in a human trafficking workshop where the speaker stopped for a moment, asked if everyone in the room as law enforcement, and then told of a sexual exploitation market of infants, to how they are abused and used......and many senior officers in the room were shocked (I had already come across it in other briefings). While "refreshing" that seasoned officers could still be shocked, imagine what it would do to a child mind.

Now, given how "I am constructed", my life as Enforcer is not likely to be complicated by children, but that certainly doesn't apply to all.......

......how do we balance the reality against the ideal?
Ideally it would great if entities that claim to be too big to fail would act like a big brother you see on old shows like Leave It To Beaver; or cartels acted like the Robin Hood of English lore; but unfortunately in reality that often does not turn out to be the case.

Again go back to the 1990's in particular (might not be a coincidence that is also the time period when revolutionary was being rejected by the current generations), the gaming, fashion, movies, books television, the entire media ecosystem was like "hell no" they are in no way responsible for what they put there (i.e. they claimed sex & violence in their virtual media world was not responsible for sex & violence in the real world), then you fast forward to today & now all of a sudden they want everyone to fall in line. Very suspicious.

As for what's appropriate content & for whom, that's why I'm becoming increasingly interested in democratic socialism & and wary of the dominance that certain classes & castes of people maintain even in so-called "democracies" in the globalist plantation system.

History.com: American actress Grace Kelly marries Prince Rainier of Monaco in a spectacular ceremony on April 18, 1956.
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Old 06-20-2022, 03:06 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 33,147,931 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I never had kids as you may know, I've mentioned that on CD a few times over the years. My two buddies I have from way way back, they both have a couple of kids each and they seem like good fathers.

All is not lost, but it's something we should be mindful of.
You didn't have kids, but other people have, and the results of their upbringings without fathers, times however many due to lack of access to good medical care/birth control/abortion, WILL affect you. And me, and everyone.

This very thread alone says that over and over again in one way or another. It's even called "America's Crisis."

Obviously, it's going to get much, much bigger.

Now. As to knowing good fathers, of course I know many. Including my husband. But that isn't what this thread is about, as far as I understand things. All the men in my sphere are great dads. But I didn't grow up in poverty, among crime, on Welfare, etc., etc. A whole lot of people do, and the larger percentage of women seeking abortions are poor and in often are in these circumstances.

I am fine with more tax money going toward the obvious result of many more single parent families, including feeding/housing a whole lot more children plus finding better schools for them plus the larger manpower needed to find abusive homes and remove the children plus therapy and whatever else will be needed, but I wonder if everyone is.
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Old 06-20-2022, 03:21 PM
 
Location: Austin
15,689 posts, read 10,481,390 times
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mothers pick the fathers of their children. women, pick men that make good husbands and good fathers!
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Old 06-20-2022, 03:27 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 33,147,931 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texan2yankee View Post
mothers pick the fathers of their children. women, pick men that make good husbands and good fathers!
Men pick women they sleep with. Men, pick women you can see spending at least 18 years worth of child support plus hands-on parenting with!
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Old 06-20-2022, 03:28 PM
 
9,346 posts, read 16,734,304 times
Reputation: 15809
Why is there a lack of fathers?

Is it because of the lack of birth control by either the woman or the male? Or is it because the male likes to brag about how many children he has by various women? Is it because the father doesn't have to be financially responsible because the government will provide?

There are many children raised by a strong woman who provided everything they needed and sought out male role models to help along the way. My children were raised without a father in their lives and they have gone on to advanced degrees and survived just fine.

Maybe proven, but both male and females are making bad choices to reproduce and the government rewards them.
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Old 06-20-2022, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
23,649 posts, read 14,196,480 times
Reputation: 18887
Quote:
Originally Posted by kovert View Post
Ideally it would great if entities that claim to be too big to fail would act like a big brother you see on old shows like Leave It To Beaver; or cartels acted like the Robin Hood of English lore; but unfortunately in reality that often does not turn out to be the case.

Again go back to the 1990's in particular (might not be a coincidence that is also the time period when revolutionary was being rejected by the current generations), the gaming, fashion, movies, books television, the entire media ecosystem was like "hell no" they are in no way responsible for what they put there (i.e. they claimed sex & violence in their virtual media world was not responsible for sex & violence in the real world),.........
Mmmmm, it reminds me of Duke Nukem 3D. In that came which takes one through the red light districts, there are topless dancers performing. When I played that game, I saw them as distractions, killing zone decoys. I ignored them and continued my sweep. WELL, if you engage the dancer, an alien appears to try to kill you. My interpretation from my trained reality was exactly what it was.

It is also like, unfortunately, me playing games with my niece of virtual reality games and air hockey. To the former, my "system" identifies it in the same way as my martial training, such as late Cold War VR training for boarding a drug boat with laser generators in real guns, and other training of constantly looking in all directions. Air hockey, for me, is a game where the system takes over and it is calculating angles so fast, both to be laying down pucks rapidly so to score and to overwhelm the goalie and to intercept.

Alas, such is not really fair to the child player, so I have to "put an interference code into my programming to slow me down some".

When it is not a game to us, should we let children see it as one?
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