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Like it or not, that was the traditional “social contract” in most societies until the 1960s and 70s. Now, the government has things like child support to make sure that offspring can survive. Not ideal, but it probably means fewer battered wives and children.
Maybe so......but given the cases of domestic violence of the wife being victimized by the husband, from being raped on her wedding night to violence through the marriage, I would say there are lots of cases of where people felt comfortable with the other person......but then that level of being comfortable changed.
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Originally Posted by 2mares
Even one's spouse has been known to force himself on his wife. I would think being in a committed relationship would dictate one is comfortable being alone with the other person. Yet women are very often sexually assaulted by their mates.
I hate to say it, but just like a stock broker must "know his or her customer" people in life must know those they are intimate with, move in with and/or marry.
I'm surprised so many men support the notion that men are to blame for our problems.
You're right. It's the woman's fault to not give the milk up for free.
Why buy the cow and yada yada.
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Originally Posted by Freak80
Human fathers generally lack the instinct to care for their offspring. The same is true for many other mammal species.
Historically, the solution to this problem was to give fathers *absolute power* over their wives and children, so that fathers would stick around and shoulder the burden of family life. The only thing men crave as much as sex is power and authority over others, so that arrangement kind of worked. It wasn’t so great for all of the battered and abused women and children, but at least they had food and a roof overhead.
Like it or not, that was the traditional “social contract” in most societies until the 1960s and 70s. Now, the government has things like child support to make sure that offspring can survive. Not ideal, but it probably means fewer battered wives and children.
Rubbish. That's feministic of you. Goes back to the same solution, if the guy is not a good provider or good person in general, ya keep those legs crossed.
Women don't always have a choice of who they marry. I was forced to get married as a child by the adults in my life. I wasn't allowed any rights or choices. I wasn't even allowed to say no to sex. I escaped as soon as I was able to get away and the community denied me employment and tried to bully me into going back. 'Go home and pray to be made a better wife.' Then I have to live constantly being falsely accused of "making poor choices" because of other people's choices.
That’s certainly a personal problem amongst your family, and if you were under 18, illegal…and if you were forced to have sex, also illegal. You made the choice to go along with it instead of going to the authorities and do something about it.
I hate to say it, but just like a stock broker must "know his or her customer" people in life must know those they are intimate with, move in with and/or marry.
Bingo. Poor planning and decision making is not the fault of anyone else, and marriage is a 2 way street. Being, bitter, scorned, etc…, and blaming men for all of their problems is a recipe to not be able to find a man, have many choices to find a man, be able to keep a man, etc… Men should be running as fast as they can away from such toxicity.
I hate to say it, but just like a stock broker must "know his or her customer" people in life must know those they are intimate with, move in with and/or marry.
Yes. Thats great in theory and is probably most often the case. Yet often times it is not. We may think we know the person we are with, but people deceive, people change, and what is it they say love is blind? This coupled with youth and lack of experience, irresponsibility, entitlement, etc. is a good combination for divorce and single parenthood.
Regardless of the circumstances that bring a child into this world, men need to accept their responsibility as fathers and stop blaming women for an act/situation that involves two people.
Rubbish. That's feministic of you. Goes back to the same solution, if the guy is not a good provider or good person in general, ya keep those legs crossed.
How about when you create a child, regardless of what type of person you were before, change and become a better person for your child and accept that responsibility.
That is not only advice for men but women as well.
Stop making excuses. That is why we have a crisis, lack of fathers, lack of mothers. Because people like you want to blame someone else and put their responsibility off on someone else instead of acting like an adult and taking personal responsibility for their actions.
This is what we at some point ceased to teach our children, teens and young adults; personal responsibility, self-respect, honor and dignity.
Regardless of the circumstances that bring a child into this world, men need to accept their responsibility as fathers and stop blaming women for an act/situation that involves two people.
How many circumstances are there, though, that the female will expect the father to make regular payments, and not let the father anywhere near the baby? Even when courts are involved how often is visitation violated, and the man put to the futile task of judicially enforcing his rights? This is a two-way street.
Granted, I am in one of the 20% of marriages with a child on the autism spectrum whose marriage hasn't blown up, and one of the few such husbands that hasn't walked away.
How many circumstances are there, though, that the female will expect the father to make regular payments, and not let the father anywhere near the baby? Even when courts are involved how often is visitation violated, and the man put to the futile task of judicially enforcing his rights? This is a two-way street.
Granted, I am in one of the 20% of marriages with a child on the autism spectrum whose marriage hasn't blown up, and one of the few such husbands that hasn't walked away.
Well of course there are situation like that. Again, stop with blaming. Society as a whole need to deal with these issues. I have said throughout, men and women. I have said there needs to be emphasis on the importance of fathers. And part of that, IMO, is the current family court system. It is terribly flawed and abused by all. I have seen enough of it from both sides. The percent of situations where a mother refuses to abide by custody/visitation agreement (and my exDIL was one of them) does not excuse the crisis number of men who do not care to be involved with their children.
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