Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Some "mothers" are reasons why there's deadbeat dads. And unfortunately, here in Louisiana, the court system automatically sides with the mother or it's a money game.
That’s certainly a personal problem amongst your family, and if you were under 18, illegal…and if you were forced to have sex, also illegal. You made the choice to go along with it instead of going to the authorities and do something about it.
My forced husband had lots of cop buddies. He went to college with them. He worked for the government. He still does.
It is not illegal in many states to force a child to marry. All it needs is a signature by a parent or guardian.
I went to the authorities as I was taught to do by the government via sex education class after I was hurt. First it was at the school. "I know *his name*, you are lucky to have him."
"Maybe he can straighten you out."
"You just don't want to be with him because he is black. You should give him a chance. He is a nice guy."
Had I kept my mouth shut about what he was doing then I would not have been forced to get married.
I said NO. He effed me anyway. I never was allowed a choice. Over thirty years of being falsely accused of wanting to mate up with that thing. I was saving that for marriage. I would never have consented to be with that thing. I never had any choices or rights.
The government never made him pay for ruining my life. He will never be punished. I did everything legally possible and the authorities He established over me took the thing's side every single time, even before the forced marriage. I couldn't even get real help from the DV shelter because he was working there at times and no one would drive me to another town to another shelter. It was a small area and everyone was refusing to help me. I will never forgive any of them. I hope they all burn.
They are all Christians though chastising me to go home and be a better wife. I never wanted to get married in the first place. I wanted to go to college and do things with my life. They stole it from me.
Instead, I have spent much of my adult life being harassed because of him. People saw my daughter and were all like 'oh you like black men' and would try to set me up with them. They would come up to me in public and harass me thinking that I would get with them. Over thirty years of lies and harassment because of the actions of others that society never let me get away from.
Some "mothers" are reasons why there's deadbeat dads. And unfortunately, here in Louisiana, the court system automatically sides with the mother or it's a money game.
Well no one believes its a homogeneous catalyst that creates situations of fatherless children. I betting these mothers that defy custody agreements are not the reason for the crisis.
Again you are blaming women. Who is it that makes up the majority of legislators, justices, district attorneys, who still hold the majority of wealth?
In my experience, and backed up by statistics, very few men make any effort to get custodial custody or even shared custody. Very few men fight for their parental rights. Of the men I know who did, they got what they asked of the court.
Granted I know that fight is a difficult, frustrating and can be an expensive one. So where are the men's advocacy groups, men, fathers helping fathers. Where are the men with money and influence lobbying to change that, to provide pro bono legal services, to help fathers navigate the system, to encourage fathers to seek custody?
Stop blaming women for men's issues.
I am tired of hearing that it's all the man's fault. Sorry, it takes two to reproduce, just as it should take two to raise a child. It's up to both to cooperate in raising the child, hopefully as a married couple, then, as two single parents. It is not on the government or the tooth fairy to pay for the children, and then let the "mothers" nod off. People should not be able to transfer the costs of their sexual recreation to the general public with impunity. Do tell me, what is the social value of allowing people to make children they can't and won't take responsibility for?
I have personal experience with the attention allocated for "poor" families. have actually put in time as a volunteer legal assistant trying to help the black community. I am not an online bigot. During 1982, while awaiting my Bar Examination results, I worked as a legal assistant in a legal services program for the poor rather than just virtue signal. This shows that I put action behind my words about helping poor people. I was not being paid. During this time, the painter for one of the contractors engaged to rehabilitate slum housing in Westchester County, New York took a liking to a 13 year old girl in one of the apartments he was painting. Can anyone tell us why the 13 year old girl wasn't in school, and wound up pregnant by the painter? I don't know if the painter stuck around to help raise the baby but I have my doubts. Where was the mother? The girl obviously wasn't in school. Where were the authorities? Why does this thing happen constantly? Any bets on whether that 13 year old from 1982 is a grandmother?
I asked my Legal Services supervisor if the mother of this 13 year old was at work. She said "no." I asked where she was. The answer was "she's a mother." I was terminated from the volunteer position shortly thereafter. I don't think my curiosity helped. I did get a paying job, as a legal intern and then on admission as a lawyer. That is what I still do.
Now, circling back to the thread topic and where this ties in, is it society's responsibility that this 13 year old's offspring from 1982 or more likely 1983 was "raised" by, in all likelihood, no one?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Even with the subject being lack of involved FATHERS the woman gets blamed.
The painter deserves to hang by his fingernails, be jailed and sentenced to eternal damnation. What then?
Even with the subject being lack of involved FATHERS the woman gets blamed.
Okay then...
And that's why there is a lack of fathers.
Society, or at least enough men, shuck their responsibility and show other men that that is ok because all fault goes back to women. Unwanted pregnancy. Should have kept your legs shut. Abortion debate. Should have kept your legs shut. Fatherless kids. Should have chose better, woman defies custody order, court sides with women. Divorce, should have opened your legs, not your mouth. Lonely, sexless men, women should open their legs. Violence committed by men, women should open their legs.
It is really quite discouraging. Until men can admit and accept that they hold as much responsibility for reproduction, commitment, children and family as women it will only get worse.
I am tired of hearing that it's all the man's fault. Sorry, it takes two to reproduce, just as it should take two to raise a child. It's up to both to cooperate in raising the child, hopefully as a married couple, then, as two single parents. It is not on the government or the tooth fairy to pay for the children, and then let the "mothers" nod off. People should not be able to transfer the costs of their sexual recreation to the general public with impunity. Do tell me, what is the social value of allowing people to make children they can't and won't take responsibility for?
I have personal experience with the attention allocated for "poor" families. have actually put in time as a volunteer legal assistant trying to help the black community. I am not an online bigot. During 1982, while awaiting my Bar Examination results, I worked as a legal assistant in a legal services program for the poor rather than just virtue signal. This shows that I put action behind my words about helping poor people. I was not being paid. During this time, the painter for one of the contractors engaged to rehabilitate slum housing in Westchester County, New York took a liking to a 13 year old girl in one of the apartments he was painting. Can anyone tell us why the 13 year old girl wasn't in school, and wound up pregnant by the painter? I don't know if the painter stuck around to help raise the baby but I have my doubts. Where was the mother? The girl obviously wasn't in school. Where were the authorities? Why does this thing happen constantly? Any bets on whether that 13 year old from 1982 is a grandmother?
I asked my Legal Services supervisor if the mother of this 13 year old was at work. She said "no." I asked where she was. The answer was "she's a mother." I was terminated from the volunteer position shortly thereafter. I don't think my curiosity helped. I did get a paying job, as a legal intern and then on admission as a lawyer. That is what I still do.
Now, circling back to the thread topic and where this ties in, is it society's responsibility that this 13 year old's offspring from 1982 or more likely 1983 was "raised" by, in all likelihood, no one?
The painter deserves to hang by his fingernails, be jailed and sentenced to eternal damnation. What then?
Bingo….blaming men for their marriage/child problems is as ridiculous as it is hilarious. There’s plenty of women that choose to leave their husband/kids behind. Contrary to their belief it’s a 2 way street and I can totally understand why they’re in the positions they’re in with men leaving/divorcing them.
There has been a decades long erosion of morals and values in this country. I sound like a bible thumper here, but I'm really not. Responsibility, hard work, doing the right thing, etc seemingly has been reduced or whatever.
A general lack of standards and a general sense of lack of accountability. I don't know, not explaining as well as I want, but this is where we are now.
I don't feel like all is lost as I have friends and co-workers and they are all middle class stand up people, their kids are doing well in school and have good manners and all of that stuff.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
