How to deal with a pregnant teen (teething, legal, baby)
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He has certainly behaved badly but its still horrible to not know how your baby is doing. Maybe a once a day text update on how baby is but continue with not allowing him to contact her.
Honestly when it comes to people who are from toxic families and are starting to emulate and model that behavior onto the new generation, the other parental figure has the right to draw the line at that insanity. And he needs to learn that just because crap is done in his family doesn't mean that it is normal/acceptable and that everyone tolerates it.
Sure it's horrible not knowing what's going on with the baby... but speaking as rationally as possible, you can't assume that he feels at the depth that you did. You never doubted whether the baby was yours and already bonded. He's not as bonded and clearly is playing games. Were you manipulating and playing games? People who do that sort of thing operate on a different level than honest people.
The lawyer knows what he is doing and has her best interests in mind.
Honestly when it comes to people who are from toxic families and are starting to emulate and model that behavior onto the new generation, the other parental figure has the right to draw the line at that insanity. And he needs to learn that just because crap is done in his family doesn't mean that it is normal/acceptable and that everyone tolerates it.
Sure it's horrible not knowing what's going on with the baby... but speaking as rationally as possible, you can't assume that he feels at the depth that you did. You never doubted whether the baby was yours and already bonded. He's not as bonded and clearly is playing games. Were you manipulating and playing games? People who do that sort of thing operate on a different level than honest people.
The lawyer knows what he is doing and has her best interests in mind.
Maybe you're right. I'm just trying to give the point of view of the parent who has been through that (and honestly, who has done that too, so completely deserved what I got)
Maybe you're right. I'm just trying to give the point of view of the parent who has been through that (and honestly, who has done that too, so completely deserved what I got)
Honestly when it comes to people who are from toxic families and are starting to emulate and model that behavior onto the new generation, the other parental figure has the right to draw the line at that insanity. And he needs to learn that just because crap is done in his family doesn't mean that it is normal/acceptable and that everyone tolerates it.
Sure it's horrible not knowing what's going on with the baby... but speaking as rationally as possible, you can't assume that he feels at the depth that you did. You never doubted whether the baby was yours and already bonded. He's not as bonded and clearly is playing games. Were you manipulating and playing games? People who do that sort of thing operate on a different level than honest people.
The lawyer knows what he is doing and has her best interests in mind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by parentologist
But he chose to use visitation as a means to gain access to the mother to make ridiculous accusations. He insisted on a paternity test, but then delayed it by not paying for it. So his actions already show his true agenda here. He had already said he wanted a test before the baby was born. That test could have been done before they left the hospital. Clearly his primary concern here is not worry over the baby's well-being. So jerseys daughter is right to cut off contact and let the atty handle it. Certainly until the test is back. And possibly until the court order is in place.
My thoughts exactly! His "real" concern for the baby ended months ago .
Hopefully some of the drama will end when the results come back and a visitation plan is in place.
The brother was dropping some things off for my other daughter this weekend. His parents wouldn't let him drop the things off unless they came with him.
You know, these people think they're being big and bad by pulling up to my house when they know they're not welcome but honestly I think it's just ignorant. I would never go anywhere I knew I wasn't welcome.
Their other son, not fob is 18 years old. They play the control game with him too and I really feel sorry for him.
Sorry, Jersey, but this is very weird. The younger brother of FOB is dropping "things" off for the younger sister of MOB, and the parents of FOB won't LET him drop the "things" off unless they come with him? WTF? What does your younger daughter need so badly and urgently from the younger brother of FOB that she would agree to this intrusion on your lives from these difficult people who urged their son to create misery for your daughter, and by extension, you and the rest of your family? What "things" are these, that the parents would be so involved in this? There isn't anything that I can think of that could be over there that she could need so urgently, that she wouldn't just say, "Bring the stuff the next time I see you."
Could it be that he doesn't have a car, and they were giving him a lift over on their way somewhere else? I just don't get it. Doesn't make sense.
Maybe it's time to have a discussion with younger daughter, and explain to her that the stress from the FOB, as wound up and set marching by his parents, is making you sick. I can see that it would be unwise to tell her to break up with the brother of FOB, because you don't want to drive her farther into his arms, but you could point out that when you marry someone (or unfortunately make a baby with someone even when you don't marry them), you are stuck with that person's family for a very long time. These are people who trumpeted that their son wasn't going to pay support. They pushed him to accuse your oldest daughter of cheating on him, and cuckolding him, with absolutely no basis or evidence. They've behaved badly and stupidly thus far. Does she think that they would treat her any better? If the boy she is dating, knowing everything that has gone on, can't even say to his parents, "Oh, no thanks, I don't need a lift. I'll just take care of it another time. No need to bother you", then she can only expect the same crap from him as your oldest is getting from the FOB.
Isn't there a sleep away camp where she could get a job for the rest of the summer, to get her away from the brother? Or a relative who lives far away where she could go for an extended visit? Sounds like she needs a break from this kid to get some perspective. I know you're taking the girls on a cruise at the end of the summer - maybe she could go away until right before then. You don't need the double tie to these creeps that her dating him entails.
One bit of advice--if your D has not deleted the texts from fob, have her keep them. On most phones she can take a "photo" of the texts as a back up. One never knows when they might be useful in a situation like this one.
Isn't there a sleep away camp where she could get a job for the rest of the summer, to get her away from the brother? Or a relative who lives far away where she could go for an extended visit? Sounds like she needs a break from this kid to get some perspective. I know you're taking the girls on a cruise at the end of the summer - maybe she could go away until right be
fore then. You don't need the double tie to these creeps that her dating him entails.
The brother and younger sister have done nothing wrong...and you want to punish them and on top of that have Jersey lie to them and say that their dating is making her ill?
Yeah...that is a recipe for disaster of epic proportions.
The brother and younger sister have done nothing wrong...and you want to punish them and on top of that have Jersey lie to them and say that their dating is making her ill?
Yeah...that is a recipe for disaster of epic proportions.
Yeah, I agree. Jersey and the rest of the family know they're a-holes, and I don't think it's worth the stress it takes to make an eyeroll.
Yeah, I agree. Jersey and the rest of the family know they're a-holes, and I don't think it's worth the stress it takes to make an eyeroll.
Heck, the FOB's younger brother seems to know they are a-holes.
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