People Who No Longer Talk To Parent(s) (quotes, girls, feel)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's just hard to take someone that's under 21 seriously that says they hate their parents and they sever ties. At that age, the only way you're supporting yourself is by doing something kinda...questionable, unless you just get lucky.
If daddy has been going into the bedroom to visit everynight since they were 5 for sexual contact...You feel they have no right to hate them?
Maybe you do not have the whole story. 21 or 12...The person has a right to hate them.
I don't know your brother but I've known people like him who cut their parents off forever after their parents told them to grow up and find another place to stay. This is the type of person I am talking about - the bratty ones who cut their parents off when their sense of entitlement was no longer accepted thereby allowing themselves to think they are the injured party!
Your mother indulges him, and, yes, you can blame your brother as you should, but your mother is a strong enabler, allowing this kind of crap.
I was out of the house and gone for two years (in the Navy) before I realized that "Hey, I don't HAVE to send my parents rent money anymore--I don't live there." Yeah, I had a job in high school so that I could pay them room and board.
I became an Archaeologist, am living in sin with a Yorkshireman , spent 3 years travelling around the States ( most of it paying my way with fairly menial jobs ) and am living in a tiny cottage with no servants ( ) , which is enough to give my family aplopexy !
Our family on my mother's side has been traced to the 14th century ( the Family Chateau in Inland Provence has gone to another side of the family now) so imagine 6 centuries of snobbishness and class superiority ....
Absolute hell. 600 years of looking down your nose at other people. Brrrrrr.
Believe me unless you went to school to the "Couvent des Oiseaux" in Paris ( which my father wisely got me out of after a term when I threatened to do something drastic) you don't know the meaning of snob .
Being a girl I had to do the meat market, the debutante balls, finishing school in Switzerland the whole shebang... I managed to escape the "Cordon Bleu" school thank goodness as I was never going to be that domesticated.
I actually quite like navy blazers but as I said you can't take all the BCBG out of a girl !
Did you use to have to sit at a special childrens' table for dinner if there were other children ? I remember that with a shudder.
My Grand-Mother's family Doctor ( who was only about 30 ) used to always kiss our hands which seemed sweet in a way but so incredibly "ancien regime".
I miss my Grand-Mother very much because she unlike her daughter was brought up well enough to treat all people with respect and dignity regardless of class or background which to me is what class truly is about.
The freedomless lifestyle alone would be enough to make me want to run away.
Did you use to have to sit at a special childrens' table for dinner if there were other children ? I remember that with a shudder.
My Grand-Mother's family Doctor ( who was only about 30 ) used to always kiss our hands which seemed sweet in a way but so incredibly "ancien regime".
We can shake hands, my family tree goes back to the 15th century!
And yes, I remember the special tables were children were segregated from the adults , and I instinctively I found that unpleasant.
About the old fashioned (ringard as we say in French) kisshand, I have a funny story , it happened when I was about 25 , a big boy already, once when visiting a friend of my father in a château (renowned for its gardens, won't say more for obvious reasons), upon leaving I had to make a baisemain to the lady host (I think my old man had some views on her, if you see what I mean) and unfortunately he didn't see me do it in the entrance hall so five minutes later when we were climbing into the car he asked me "did you kiss her hand", I said yes , but he didn't believe me, he made me go out of the car and kiss the lady's hand a second time...so incredibly grotesque!
The freedomless lifestyle alone would be enough to make me want to run away.
I ran as soon as I could and became legally "emancipated" before my majority.
So many people have just wondered why I would leave what seemed a dream world to them and it is hard to explain to some people that a "princess's life" is not all it's cracked up to be.
I am pretty unmaterialistic because at the end of the day the most important thing is freedom to be who you are and not be forced to be someone you are not.... Money helps to lubricate life in terms of making things more comfortable physically but the demands it can put on the kids can be ludicrous in this 21st century.
Money without freedom is worthless. Been there, done that , got the Navy Blazer ....
If daddy has been going into the bedroom to visit everynight since they were 5 for sexual contact...You feel they have no right to hate them?
Maybe you do not have the whole story. 21 or 12...The person has a right to hate them.
I agree, there are plenty of reasons why kids are not only entitled to ahte their parents but right to do so.
Abuse also comes in very different packages from sexual and physical to the less obvious mental and psychological abuse which is just as damaging in many ways.
I have never understood why some people believe that somehow parents are owed respect regardless of what they do to you.
Parents are supposed to love and respect you and want the best for you. If they treat you like garbage and diminish you at every turn, beat you, rape and molest you and make you feel small and stupid all the time then really what's there to love.
We give Parents a free-pass in our society simply because they have given us birth which seems ludicrous.
Most people I know have been screwed up one way or another by their family and on top of my head I can think of 3 non dysfunctional families.
And once again there are degrees of dysfunctionality , some which are unforgiveable.
I see no reason why I should keep being civil to my Witch of a mother and see her at all. It makes no sense whatsoever.
People who should often be behind bars, or in psychiatric hospitals for being terminal bullies and abusers we are somehow told we should respect simply because we are the product of their loins.
As far as I am concerned respect goes both ways. I cannot respect someone who does not respect me. Period. I don't care if we share the same DNA.
Taking abuse has never been my thing and letting go is IMO the most positive and best thing kids with awful parents can do. If some people enjoy sado-masochistic relationships then fine but count me out.
We give Parents a free-pass in our society simply because they have given us birth which seems ludicrous.
The other extreme is just as common, which is kids never giving their parents a free pass. We expect them to be perfect, we expect them to always be there for us, and we take them for granted. When they fail, some of us are too quick to punish them for being the flawed human beings they really are. If you're the child and you make a mistake, you expect your parents to forgive you. But we hold our parents to a higher standard. My parents have made mistakes, but I've learned to forgive them. Thankfully, nothing as extreme as what others here have mentioned. Obviously, there are some things you never forgive, especially if the person never made an effort to change. But the parent-child relationship is pretty lopsided.
My husband's parents were extremely abusive (physically, mentally, and verbally) to him growing up. He hasn't spoken to them in years and he doesn't ever want to. This is his decision and I stand by him no matter what decision he makes; he knows what the best one is for himself.
Don't make a big deal of it. You don't know the circumstances surrounding another's background and life. Not everyone had it as good as you did growing up. If the time is right that person will tell you why they choose to do what they did-you can accept their choice or reject it. If it's a problem then you should only date those who still have a relationship with their parents.
The other extreme is just as common, which is kids never giving their parents a free pass. We expect them to be perfect, we expect them to always be there for us, and we take them for granted. When they fail, some of us are too quick to punish them for being the flawed human beings they really are. If you're the child and you make a mistake, you expect your parents to forgive you. But we hold our parents to a higher standard. My parents have made mistakes, but I've learned to forgive them. Thankfully, nothing as extreme as what others here have mentioned. Obviously, there are some things you never forgive, especially if the person never made an effort to change. But the parent-child relationship is pretty lopsided.
I agree and I think in many ways one of the great human tragedy is that in a way we never get to have a proper relationship with our parents because most of the time the child /parent block is still there . Parents still treat their kids like kids when they grow up and kids their parents like parents rather than adults and friends .
Children do often take advantage of kids even in later life that is certainly true .
I never did anything remotely awful to my parents, you could almsot have called me a "perfect" child ( I broke a few bones and severed my Barbie's heads but apart from that really very little to forgive) and I feel the relationship was indeed lopsided but not from my side...
I was studious, quiet and not wild in any way whatsoever. Apparently I hardly ever cried even as a baby. I never gave them cause to be angry or disappointed in me , they chose to treat me more as a designer accessory or a pet than a fellow human being.
I wish sometimes that the family"label" was lifted from us because it would give us a far more genuine and honest relationship rather than one based on obligation and duty.
I would have loved to get to know my Father as an adult to an adult but this was never going to be possible. He would have had to truly respect me for that. Respect really has to be earned and because kids start life as a blank canvas it is up to the parents to get the ball rolling in the respect stakes.
Even my beloved Grand-Mother always treated me as if I was 12 when I was in my 30s. I think she never got passed the seeing me as a child and it pains me that we never really got to talk woman to woman rather than Grand-Daughter to Grand-Mother ( I consider her to be my Mother really) .
It would be wonderful for both sides to be mature enough to see each other as human beings but the simple concept of family and all that goes along with it can muddy things a great deal in my experience.
I never took my Father for granted ( he raised me alone) as I used to rarely see him ( because of his job)so I apprecaited every ounce of affection I got from him ( and he was wonderful until my Teens). I never expected him to be there because that would have led to disappointment and I learnt quickly to armour myself agaisnt that...
There was nothing to take for granted about my Mother who left us when I was under 4 . What a relief that was. I was actually happy to have my parents divorce . At 4. The courts asked me who I would want to live with and the answer was a no brainer.
I would have rather been dopted out than given to my Mother. She has about as much maternal feeling as a piece of Granite.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
