At dinners where the same people never help pay the bill (relatives, personality)
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Yes, perhaps instead of payiing 1/2 the restaurant bill, the OP can host a few dinners for everyone at her house. That way she won't have to drive either.
No and i dont plan to start. Dh and i have visited her in az before we had kids. I mentioned before that dh would help with her plane ticket but i dont think he does now. I also mentioned that BIL takes their daughter out of daycare for the month and MIL watches her. So they save money there big time. The daycare is 2500 a month.
It's also beyond me why the woman can't just buy her own plane ticket. She already gets free room and board for her and the boyfriend plus free meals. She's the one who moved away.
Is this how you would treat your own mother if she lived on the other side of the country?
No and i dont plan to start. Dh and i have visited her in az before we had kids. I mentioned before that dh would help with her plane ticket but i dont think he does now. I also mentioned that BIL takes their daughter out of daycare for the month and MIL watches her. So they save money there big time. The daycare is 2500 a month.
It's also beyond me why the woman can't just buy her own plane ticket. She already gets free room and board for her and the boyfriend plus free meals. She's the one who moved away.
Wow. Such a mean spirit towards the woman that raised your husband. What a shame. Funny, when you are the MIL, you might regret having these feelings.
And, the comments you keep making about how your MIL babysits while she is visiting....every point you make revolves around your perceived monetary issues. I think the BIL and MIL are thinking, Great She gets a month to bond with the grandbaby.....Not How can I save a buck.
'Your resentment and jealousy is almost palpable. Love your husband enough to be more gracious towards his mother.
You might also consider that your feelings are something he feels he has to over-compensate for.....No one deserves such contempt for so little reason.
Think how you would feel if the situation were reversed and your husband resented everything about your mother.
This is a no-win situation. You need to figure out how to live with it and move on. Family squabbles never turn out well and they will linger for years.
So your best advise is for the OP to suck it up, just live with it, and die with an ulcer from the stress and aggravation.
When you go out to dinner, when the waiter comes over say "Hi. Please put myself, husband and " whoever else such as a mother "on the same check". This lets everyone else know they have to pay for themselves. There is no reason to be paying for other adults there. If this causes them not to show up to these events, then you know why they were coming to begin with because someone else was going to pay for them.
You want to treat everyone to dinner, then cook it in your home, but when it comes to going out to dinner, you need to establish control before the event.
As for allowing relatives to stay with you for a month at a time, no, I wouldn't allow this. That's what hotels, Inns, temporary corporate housing, and house sitting is for.
I agree with eastcoast. This has just become a tradition for them that im just forced to be a part of. I hate dealing with them every weekend for 4 to 5 weeks, i hate paying for all their meals for a dinner the whole time theyre here and on top of that probably over 1k is spent on xmas gifts for them. And as I mentioned she will be back in april and again in june.
I am from a different kind of family i guess. My parents would never stick us with the bill continuously and be a burden. Unfortunately i think of her, her boyfriend and the 35 year old brother as a burden.
My husband has mentioned before that she could die soon. She is 70...she could easily live another 10 to 20 years. My holidays are ruined. I used to enjoy christmas. Now it's just become a season of dealing with his laxy family.
I am officially confused. Who does the boyfriend belong to?
The boyfriend belongs to Grandma, the mother of OP's husband.
OP can you just start suggesting cheapie places to eat? If they have champagne tastes, maybe these dinners will taper off when you're only willing to go to Golden Corral or Denny's.
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