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Hand the leech a stack of quarters and directions to a laundromat.
Nuts. In the first place, given the vitriol being spewed, I wouldn't assume everything being told here is Gospel.
In the second place, if the guy wants to do a load of laundry for his brother once a month, that's his prerogative and is not unduly burdensome. Its not like he's asking HER to do it. In fact, given the attitude, I doubt hubby asks his wife to do anything at all. Who wants to deal with the blowback?
That sucks OP. I've been there. There were a few years there when my lazy brother in law would never offer to pitch in...I complained enough about it to my DH until he finally started to say something and pretty much would force his brother to pitch in, or he didn't get invited.
It is a no win situation. It's HIS family "stuff" that's been going on for years. It's not going to change. You aren't going to change him The more you complain, the more he will be annoyed. Just remember that some day, he will probably have to take one on the chin for your family too, and move on.
For the record i dont hate my mother in law. I think her 4 to 5 week stays 2 to 3 times a year with her boyfriend are a PITA though. We can never just get together with just her when shes her. It also has to involve BIL, his wife and kids and his MIL and of course 35 year old do nothing. It it overwhelming especially now that we have 2 kids. And yes I HATE that even though dinners include all these people the bill is just split between us and BIL (S).
No one else is my situation except me. For those of you who dont get it, so be it but if it were your money and you never got anything in return you might be pissed too. These people are not my children. I kept quiet for a while but i basically let DH know how I feel over the past few months. Even if it's not this whole group when we go out it often involves 35 year old brother and BILs mother and they never pay...dont even chip in.
For the record i dont hate my mother in law. I think her 4 to 5 week stays 2 to 3 times a year with her boyfriend are a PITA though. We can never just get together with just her when shes her. It also has to involve BIL, his wife and kids and his MIL and of course 35 year old do nothing. It it overwhelming especially now that we have 2 kids. And yes I HATE that even though dinners include all these people the bill is just split between us and BIL (S).
What happens when your husband says "Mom, I want you to come and spend the day at our house and get to spend quality time with your grandkids." ? Does she assume that the entire crew is invited, too? Or does she come alone or just with her boyfriend?
Did you post to just get sympathy? Or were you hoping for some suggestions on how you can fix it? Because so far all I've seen you do is complain that nobody understands and not really responded to any of the suggestions. If you just wanted a moan, then fair enough. But whining about it won't change it.
I wanted to vent a bit yes i did...and see if other people understood my feelings or had been in similar situations.
We always end up going to BILs to see them. MIL and her bf have no car when they are and as i mentioned they are 45 min away. I'm sure BIL would get offended if we invited just MIL and not his family. There's maybe been one or two times that we went to BILs and his family was at some event that didnt involve MIL.
Well I understand, because I have been in a similar situation, but it bothered me enough that I spoke to my husband about it and we solved it. Yes it was difficult, but it was that much of an issue for me. Now he knows where I stand and takes my feelings into consideration more when it comes to plans with his family.
I wanted to vent a bit yes i did...and see if other people understood my feelings or had been in similar situations.
We always end up going to BILs to see them. MIL and her bf have no car when they are and as i mentioned they are 45 min away. I'm sure BIL would get offended if we invited just MIL and not his family. There's maybe been one or two times that we went to BILs and his family was at some event that didnt involve MIL.
So you've never actually invited them. Do they drive? Could they drive one of BIL's cars? Rent a car for a day? Take a bus/train? You could offer to host for a weekend and pick her up? All kinds of options for making an effort to include her in your family.
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