friendship with married woman (females, males, romance, aging)
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Nothing is hidden. When the husband calls she tells him that she is hanging out with me. She has suggested that I come over and meet the husband.
She's not someone I work with. She goes to my athletic club, we take some of the classes together.
I dont have a girlfriend.
She doesn't put things off with her husband to hang out with me, but the situation is that the husband works a lot. She has told me that he is never around and when he comes home from work he is burned out to do anything.
I wouldn't feel uncomfortable meeting him. In fact, now that you guys Mention it, I will suggest that she brings him to our club.
I should meet the husband there so that the other members see and understand that nothing is going on. I dont want to risk ruining my rep, in case I meet other single women there
Yep, and once she cheats and he catches her that's exactly what she will be telling him. She's already convinced herself she's justified in getting her needs met somewhere outside her marriage. Soon she will have you believing what a jerk he is for working to meet their financial needs and ignoring her. Why else is she telling you negative stuff about her husband? She's setting you up to rescue her from her boredom, loneliness, whatever else she's not getting from him. Once she reels you in, she wont leave him, she will just use both of you to get her all her needs met.
People fall out of love with spouses who are not spending time meeting their needs and fall in love with other people who are spending time meeting their needs. The mature person would either talk to their spouse to resolve the problem or get a divorce before they got involved with someone else. Selfish immature people just have affairs.
She imo has already decided and given herself permission for an A. She's just waiting/looking for a partner in crime.
What is happening is called Emotional Infidelity. It actually destroys more marriages than sexual infidelity. One of the best sources of information is one that is quoted by a lot of marriage experts as a place that one should read that was published in Oprah Magazine.
I know what the problem is, as my wife was involved in emotional affairs years ago. She thought it was innocent, but it almost tore our marriage apart. She still has a hard time over 50 years later, understanding the effects it has had on me. When a wife has emotional affairs, it can become devastating to her husband. Take it from someone that has been there, and has suffered through the problem.
Sorecently I have been hanging out with a married woman. She is just a cool person and we have done things such as get coffee. my mother however, is very concerned about our a platonic relationship. She says that I have to be careful because she's married and that it could potentially lead to problems later on.she says that the friendship is just a gateway into and aN affair later on.
for further color, our relationship really has been 100 percent platonic thus far. At first I also was uneasy about hanging out with a married woman alone, but when we talk about stuff she mentions other people that she knows and criticizes those who have affairs. This led me to believe that nothing could ever potentially happen between us and gave me a sense of security that this would never happen.
she and I are both young, in our mid twenties.is our relationship fine and the appropriate or are we just being Naive?
Better to have a married female friend than single female friend. She is taken care of by her husband and more likely to be a good matchmaker for you and introducing women to you. From personal experience.
Met women through this married friend of yours. She's using you to fill the void of boredom and loneliness from an absent husband. Use her too.
OP, listen to the good people here giving you great advice. Growing up in the ghetto (South Bronx), I've had my share of married chickenheads. We had a saying on the street, "The only female friends a man has are the one he hasn't f**** yet."
I see no disrespect on either of their parts. Did you perhaps read a different OP to the one I read? People are allowed have friends - being in a relationship does not change that at all.
Because YOU see no disrespect doesn't give reason to ask me if I read a different OP. Your opinion is your opinion and I don't agree with it.
As another person wrote, if the spouse knows - and is invited to be with - the friends, that is completely different. It is when there is exclusion that changes everything. Why would a person who loves their spouse even want to give reason to question any situation?
Men and women can absolutely be friends. I am in my 30s and have held several platonic guy friends since high school, my boyfriend is the same age and also has female friends that he knows from high school or from where he works. We are all very comfortable hanging out with each other, there's no weirdness and we hang out with their boyfriends and girlfriends as well. I think it's completely ridiculous when people say there is absolutely no way men and women can be platonic friends!
Friendship can work provided neither of you is remotely or ever could be sexually or romantically attracted to the other.
That's rare.
If either one is or could imagine being attracted, it's a no-go.
Growing up in the ghetto (South Bronx), I've had my share of married chickenheads. We had a saying on the street, "The only female friends a man has are the one he hasn't f**** yet."
No difference in Texas/Oklahoma where I was born ca 1950. I've managed to friend-zone someone every now and then, that's on me, I'm not proud of it.
Main difference here is that he is also your husband's best friend and that is a HUGE barrier for an affair.
Actually, we are not each other's types: he is of my height that is not enough for me to feel attracted, and I'm too sturdy built for him. So, purely platonic relationships, and we are totally committed to help each other to any possible extent including flying across Atlantics and giving, not lending huge amounts of money. We have kind of three friendships in one: my husband and him, I and him, and our family with him. We all are totally lucky to have such a thing in our lives. It feels warm inside.
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So, purely platonic relationships, and we are totally committed to help each other to any possible extent including flying across Atlantics and giving, not lending huge amounts of money. We have kind of three friendships in one: my husband and him, I and him, and our family with him. We all are totally lucky to have such a thing in our lives. It feels warm inside.