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We live in a very small community in the upper NW quadrant of the state. My guess is that there are about 500 residents. No stores and no gas stations. We had no trouble making friends other places we've lived as we are positive and outgoing. We've never boasted about our backgrounds, life experiences, or financial situation and have done our best to blend in. Bottom line is that we just don't fit in and discovered that we need to be with like-minded folks of similar backgrounds.
You really are in the boonies!
You shouldn't take it personally. The locals have probably already formed an opinion of "newcomers", so you start out at a disadvantage. If you'd like to stay and become friends with them it will take some effort. If they experience you being generous and helpful... and most of all *not* telling them how to run things... I'm sure they'll eventually come around.
I've been here about two years, except for a short spat back in the Midwest.
At times I don't like things; I like things done with a snap of a finger, so I do get frustrated with that part. Having lived in the Upper Midwest and in other northern climes prior to that for all my years prior to moving to ABQ, I still find it laughable how people here will dress in hats and coats when it drops into the 60s. The nice part is that they stay home when the temp drops - so then the stores are less crowded and quieter for me.
I don't have an issue with the crime. Crime is everywhere. I've never had a car broken into, but then again I don't leave anything of value visible. Even my trash is in an open beach bucket for all the world to see what's in it - trash.
I now live in the Nob Hill area, right off Central. I don't have any problems. But, then again I lived in Uptown in Minneapolis for 13 or so years, and never felt problems there either - in the city. Where do I have issues - Dion's restaurant on Morris and Montgomery with all the damn high school brats from El Dorado, acting immature and noisy so that other paying customers can't enjoy their meals. I've decided to not go there anymore.
As for finding work. I have a four year degree plus masters work. I don't have much luck at getting jobs. It seems if you have too much education, you are out of luck. But, then again, for some of these jobs, they want "years" experience in certain areas, too, like QuickBooks and things like that. So, I don't have that. But, even for simple jobs, it is hard to get in since they seem to stay away from those of us with education for the simple jobs.
I for one don't agree with that. I'm now starting my own business (and didn't plan on it; just fell into it with contract work for an attorney and now tutoring college students in chem and helping permanent residents with their job coaching/resume work.) I'm also returning to school to finish my masters. But, with my business needs, if I ever had to hire someone to help out, that person would have to have a much different resume than what many get by with around here, and this time I can call the shots. I worked hard for my education, and still do, and will expect that from others, too. anywhere.
I do have somewhat of a community here; something I didn't have much of in Minnesota. I miss Minnesota many times during the week, but contact with people was tough there. I have met some nice people here and we have formed relationships. Some are from other parts of the country, the world, and some from New Mexico. And, I do feel useful here, since I do have some skills that some people need - like being able to offer tutoring and other kind of assistance to help people get started.
At my age of upper 40s, this isn't bad, but I may even consider a move to a smaller town in New Mexico in a few years - to teach high school science and adjunct at a community college. I'm probably tired of big cities wherever they may be, and ABQ is getting bigger. That is probably where most of my angst comes from.
Consider yourself lucky. I was in a shootout in the Ladera area 2 months ago. I was in 2 other shootouts in the Northeast heights before that. I've been carjacked, robbed at gunpoint twice while I was walking, jumped at the movie theater. People have broken into my cars 7 times and tried to steal them twice. I've lived all over the Western states and nowhere have I been involved in this much violence.
When you sell meth on someone else's turf, you have to expect some friction.
But seriously, if that level of crime was experienced by even 1/10 of 1% of Albuquerqueans, martial law would have been enacted long ago.
Most people have experienced a burglary, car break-in, or even a mugging once or maybe twice in a long lifetime. You, on the other hand must be the unluckiest person I have ever heard of anywhere I have lived in my entire life which spans SE Albuquerque to the Bronx.
I don't think happiness always comes from within. Not everyone is supposed to live in just one place, that would be awful.
There are people more suited to California, and people more suited to the Midwest. Some people want to be near the ocean, they don't really belong in New Mexico. Some people crave big city life and they also aren't suited to New Mexico.
People who are suited to New Mexico have to like smaller cities, big open sky, lots of sunshine, a more arid climate, and tolerate some heat and some cold.
Pinkkey,My Dear Friend,may I say that your grammar is so very weak?
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkkey
I moved here 8 years ago and disappointed that New Mexico isn't what i thought it was. I feel being an "outsider" that your not accepted. If you werent born here or have any connections you're pretty much screwed. Honestly i have met so many cold people here its sa
and,when you relocate,as I have done,you cannot expect the natives to say"Hey,drop everything,pinkkey is here,let's go bowling." Take your time,be a pet owner,go for walks if you are able..but be careful.Life is not a t.v. spot,O.K?
Most of New Mexico is charming,which ethnic group is the RACISM COMING FROM MY FRIEND?
Last edited by Poncho_NM; 10-27-2010 at 10:10 AM..
Reason: Fixed quote.
I came on a bus got dumped in the middle of a quiet town at 2 in the morning I knew noone had no job I had rented a Studio apt for a month over the phone sight unseen and I have stayed for the last ten years grew a business (Josie's Garden Escapes) and a life here no regrets I heard said there are few "bad" places to live in New Mexico but I have never seen one, all places have merits and problems it takes work to make a strange town your home. Don't give up I won't
Wow, what guts. That and incredible luck and good fortune that you were right about the place.
Anyplace that sees a substantial influx of people from outside the area, as New Mexico has, is going to see a reaction, usually a negative one, from long-time residents. This is in part because of negative experiences (perceived or in reality) the locals have had with newish arrivals in a variety of ways, and also in part because of natural suspicions of strangers and newcomers.
Often new arrivals bring new ideas (frequently very good ideas) or exhibit behaviors that threaten, in some way, the long established order or way of doing things. It's easy to understand why people get that "what's wrong with the way things are?" feeling, though such feelings are often based in simple knee-jerk reactions to change. Change, to many people, implies criticism of what has gone on in the past...so they react defensively. Doesn't mean it's right...but that's what happens.
This is not limited in some way to New Mexico, it happens anywhere and everywhere there is an inflow of migrants. The exact same thing happens in my old hometown area in Michigan. A very beautiful and desireable area of relatively low population is discovered by folks who want to move in. They do, there is a reaction to it, some hiccups, but eventually everybody settles down and realize there are overwhelmingly good people on both sides, with the normal occurance of idiots also on both sides. Ultimately, the entire community benefits from the new energy, fresh perspective and talents of the newcomers...and everybody is better off. Even with that, some people will cling to resentment and bitterness, but they're their own punishment.
I suspect there is an additional facet to this phenomena in New Mexico, and that has to do with longstanding historic Hispanic/Anglo issues. This may amplify some of the perceptions and attitudes I refer to above, again, on both sides.
As one of those "multi-generational (family has roots in Rio Grande Valley all the way back to the 1820s)" spiteful New Mexicans, there are plenty of reasons as to why we hate newcomers. (Although... I no longer live in New Mexico, I visit yearly).
Frankly, New Mexico is always a bit depressing.
The problem is that the more and more people from out of state move in, they're essentially 'destroying' what New Mexico is about-- open unrestricted land. It's your money and your choices... and you're free to do whatever you want. But your actions do have repercussions.
Much of 'old' New Mexico is based on the Hacienda system (which is almost entirely a similar thing to many of the early missions). The hacienda [estate] is basically like a little kingdom where you have one predominate ruling household and generally supporting auxiliary households.
That is primarily the reason that when you see an old house in New Mexico... it is surrounded by 6, 7, 8 or 30 smaller houses literally feet away. It's a very quiet and nonchalant form of urbanism. Sometimes, these haciendas get so big they form small cities-- like Santa Fe or Mesilla.
However, this is a practice that no longer exists in New Mexico. Now, when most people move in, they buy a crappy plot of land on a hillside or mountain, string up a barbwire fence around their 1.5 acres, pump the wells dry trying to maintain 200 square feet of Bermuda grass and complain that none of their neighbors like them and the people at the cornerstore give them funny looks.
New Mexico is essentially a third-world country. Most New Mexicans accept this fact. The idea of a subtle lawlessness thrills us. The idea that you could be picked off by a cougar or bitten by a rattlesnake makes a walk around the block fun. And like any third world country, there are just towns, alleys and backroads you do not travel on. If you have to ask if that road is safe, it is not safe for you.
That being said... people and things New Mexicans hate:
1) Faux Cowboys-- Cowboys only existed when fences did not exist. The cowboy, itself, is a Spanish tradition (vaquero). This makes it all the more humorous when you see rabid, immigration-hating, good ol' boy Republicans (a.k.a. Texans) playing dress up and trying to be an amateur farmer.
Good job, you look like a jerk. You spent $13,000 dollars (from your $80,000 a year military contracting job) to grow $4,000 of alfalfa.
2) The suburbanite-- I'm sorry your company relocated from Bloomingdale, Indinanoisohiosylvania. This is New Mexico. Please don't expect us to erect thirty Wal-Marts and 8 dozen gated communities. When you do that, it hurts everyone. We end up having to pay more taxes and Elephant Butte does not have any more water to fill up your pool with. Try to keep that cancerous growth delegated to Albuqurque.
3) The Horse Rider-- New Mexico is not a place for horses. It never was. You may love horses and you love the fact that New Mexico has dirt cheap land.
But, please, don't haul your horses all over the state so you can frolic around in a national forest on horseback. Not only are horses destructive to the very fragile ecosystems that barely hold on, your horses require way too much food and water than the state can put out.
4) The Santa Flake-- Don't get me wrong. We love Santa Fe. We mostly love when Santa Fe stays in Santa Fe and Taos. I'm sorry you're not rich or wealthy enough to move to New Mexico and join the ranks of the East Coast Elite in Santa Fe.
But, please, don't try to emulate that lifestyle in some place other than Santa Fe.
5) Hill Dwellers-- So, you hate everyone, everything and everywhere. You've decided that the perfect life is in the middle of nowhere, on a mountain... in New Mexico.
But, please, don't move into the hills. Us valley and mesa dwellers end up having to pay for your subsidized utilities. Your moving there destroys our leisure areas-- New Mexico is the Trespassing State. Be aware of that. We probably won't steal your cattle or shoot animals on your property... but we want to just hike through.
We live on the mesas and in the valley because we like to look up at the mountains. When you live on the mountain, all you look at is the valley. The valley is disgusting.
And most of the Hill Dwellers are jerks. That's why we hate you. You ruined our mountains.
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Pinkkey,My Dear Friend,may I say that your grammar is so very weak?
