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As you know, no place is friendly or unfriendly. Always, it's the people. Perhaps some of what you are describing is a reflection of yourself.
Moderator cut: Please, we don't need to bash other states.
You might also enroll in some post-secondary communication classes to improve your skills with the language. I noted a dozen or so grammatical, spelling, mechanics errors in your short blurb.
My wife and I have owned property in the Cloudcroft area for several years, visiting it and NM regularly, but are not native NM folks. We were planning to build here until existing housing prices, especially 2nd homes, began crashing. Now one can get a much better buy on an existing cabin than building new.
However, and this is the important point, if I may, if you are not happy where you are, and if you have looked within yourself to examine the source of the problems you're having with acceptance, then exercise your God-given right to live where you wish.
My wife and I are going on a great trek this Thanksgiving having heard of hundreds of rich folks' 2nd homes being in distressed sale condition, foreclosed, or short sales in the Denver foothills subdivisions. Since we are retiring, we will choose to live where we wish, without care/concern about neighbors or relatives.
To visit relatives, God allowed man to invent the airplane and automobile.
As for neighbors, as Robert Frost wrote, "...Good fences make good neighbors..."
Nice to slam the whole state of California, excuse me, there are many hard working people in CA(myself a 20 year resident) who never got or expected anything from the govt.
From my time in New Mexico attending college, I do remember they weren't overly fond of Texans.
I found the people in New Mexico to be friendly.
Last edited by Poncho_NM; 03-16-2011 at 11:13 PM..
Pinkkey and others who have had terrible experiences here, I am truly sorry . Hopefully you all can get to a better place in the not-too-distant future.
I lived in a city that was awful for me too. Great city - just bad for me. The entire time I was there horrible things happened to me. My husband had this experience too, at the same time as me (in a different city, before we knew each other). We both couldn't get out of our respective cities fast enough, and both ended up moving to Albuquerque. Of course it was perfect because we moved here at the same time, got jobs at the same place, and met and fell in love. Sometimes I think the universe nudges us in a certain direction, or away from certain things for a reason . Kind of cheesy I know, but hey, you never know what or who is waiting for you somewhere else.
Pinkkey, your experiences with the schools here, as well as some of the other issues you mentioned are exactly why we don't want to raise our kids here. Not a good match...for us . It works out great for some people, and that is fabulous for them. Albuquerque has given me decades of good living, and I will always be very fond of both the city and the state.
Pinkkey wrote: "I moved here 8 years ago and disappointed that New Mexico isn't what i thought it was. I feel being an "outsider" that your not accepted. If you werent born here or have any connections you're pretty much screwed. Honestly i have met so many cold people here its sad. Racism surprisingly is a huge problem. Very cliquish... people aren't open to meeting new people. I feel very unsafe no mater which area i go. Coming from a person from Southern California i got to say this is the most unfriendliest place i have lived."
I think your statement "I feel very unsafe no mater which area i go" cuts to the heart of the matter. If you are in fear, you will find it very difficult to make friendships even if you do find someone with similar interests, as you will not be projecting a friendly or vibrant vibe to which people are attracted. And it doesn't really matter if the danger is real or merely perceived by you; if you are afraid that is an awful way to live.
If you feel unsafe, run--don't walk--to a place where you can breathe easier and feel at peace. I am a believer in "bloom where you are planted", but there's no getting around that an orchid thrives in the rainforest and dies in the desert, as it were, and, like marmom says, 'some places simply are not a good match". Me, I'm basically the lowly dandelion :-D
I hope you find a better fit for you very soon!
Last edited by 64airstream; 10-18-2010 at 03:27 AM..
My husband and I moved here to rural NM two years ago from Washington State. We are well-adjusted, happy, friendly people who like to be adaptable and blend in. Well, this is one of those very small communities consisting of descendants of early pioneer families. We are outsiders and a couple of people have told us to "get out of town", that we are not wanted here, and to watch our backs.
It would be helpful if you'd tell us exactly where you are, so we can have a reference for your plight. You say western side... somewhere around Silver City? Farmington? Gallup?
Also, where did you move from exactly?
I guess a lot of people are put off by the fact that they might have to earn respect, friendship, and trust in a small town. It should be obvious that people who have lived in an area for generations are going to be somewhat insular, small minded, distrustful of strangers, etc. They are generally not well traveled or well educated. I mean, you should expect that going in. And if you barge in with lots of money and act like you know it all... well, that's exactly the sort of person they tend to dislike. This is true everywhere in the world, not just NM.
It would be helpful if you'd tell us exactly where you are, so we can have a reference for your plight. You say western side... somewhere around Silver City? Farmington? Gallup?
Also, where did you move from exactly?
I guess a lot of people are put off by the fact that they might have to earn respect, friendship, and trust in a small town. It should be obvious that people who have lived in an area for generations are going to be somewhat insular, small minded, distrustful of strangers, etc. They are generally not well traveled or well educated. I mean, you should expect that going in. And if you barge in with lots of money and act like you know it all... well, that's exactly the sort of person they tend to dislike. This is true everywhere in the world, not just NM.
My wife and I have visited NM quite a few times, from Taos to Santa Fe, to ABQ to Silver City. We found people to be very friendly everywhere we went. However, there is a huge difference between a short visit and living somewhere. The same people who were friendly to you on your short vacation, might be unfriendly if you moved into the neighborhood. Also, vacation is a vacation, by definition you are there to have a good time and people tend to overlook a lot of things while being in that vacationing mood.
Anyways, one thing that we did notice about NM is the overall "creepiness" of the place. It does feel unsafe in a lot of places. For example, you could be driving in a small village like Chimayo and you could have people looking really funny at you, you know, the kind that has tear drops tattooed on their faces or necks. This is just a small village, mind you, not L.A. bad 'hoods. Drive a bit further, you get to Espanola. That place is really creepy and it does not feel safe at all. Same with ABQ, there are parts that just feel like you don't want to maybe stop at the red light.
Silver City felt nice and friendly but it too has its own drag and people driving around town aimlessly looking at you funny, windows down, loud music blasting. Does not feel like a nice quaint historic little town.
Why I want to move to NM? I love the fact that it has millions of acres of forest like Gila where I can saddle up my horse and ride and camp and not run into a single person for days.... That's freedom in my mind. You don't get that here in FL or in many other eastern states. NM, WY yeah, but WY is too darn cold for the majority of the year.
I know a lot of people will tell me to look people in the eye, be firm and friendly, look like I know where I am going and there will be no trouble. To them I say, sure, if I am in a bad 'hood in L.A., that's great advice. But it should not be the case in small town NM.
It would be helpful if you'd tell us exactly where you are, so we can have a reference for your plight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkkey
We came here to accually start a buisness and failed because we didnt have like i said "connections". My dad was born here all of his family left to CA. He moved back 40 years later to discover its not the same NM.
I live in Albuquerque. I should've been more specific. In the past 8 years we have moved around alot. Albuquerque being the worst. Other places have been OK not the best but not as bad as ABQ.
I heard Albuquerque was not that bad.......Heck it's gotta be better than NC...which is currently where Im located.....I'll take Albuquerque over Charlotte any day.
I'm sorry, Pinkky, that you find yourself feeling this way, too, in the "Land of Entrapment". My husband and I moved here to rural NM two years ago from Washington State. We are well-adjusted, happy, friendly people who like to be adaptable and blend in. Well, this is one of those very small communities consisting of descendants of early pioneer families. We are outsiders and a couple of people have told us to "get out of town", that we are not wanted here, and to watch our backs. Some folks are polite to your face and then lie about you behind your back. Because we have a nice home, someone is spreading rumors that we must be drug dealers! There are a couple of Zuni Indians who have been genuinely nice to us but the white people are extremely clannish. Our only friends here are a small number of other recent transplants, from CA, who refuse to have anything to do with the locals. We hate the lack of work ethic in NM, the mediocre health care in many areas, the horrible Walmarts, and a few other things. What I like is the quiet, the blue skies, and, at night, the star studded skies. There's also lots of room on my ranch for my dog and cats to run. I want to go home to Seattle!
My husband and I are looking to move to Alamogordo from San Antonio area. We spent the summer camping, mostly in New Mexico, and loved the climate, spectacular scenery, clear skies, history and met friendly people. Alamo seems to be a busy bustling town, lots of military, with enough shopping, etc. I am looking for artists to interact with, since I am a beginning painter. My husband spent 24 years in Roswell and yearns to move back to NM. Not Roswell, due to the crime and gang activity. I think any small town anywhere can seem unfriendly. If you are church goers or volunteers, that is a way to become part of a community.
I came on a bus got dumped in the middle of a quiet town at 2 in the morning I knew noone had no job I had rented a Studio apt for a month over the phone sight unseen and I have stayed for the last ten years grew a business (Josie's Garden Escapes) and a life here no regrets I heard said there are few "bad" places to live in New Mexico but I have never seen one, all places have merits and problems it takes work to make a strange town your home. Don't give up I won't
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. Hopefully you all can get to a better place in the not-too-distant future. 
. Kind of cheesy I know, but hey, you never know what or who is waiting for you somewhere else.
. It works out great for some people, and that is fabulous for them. Albuquerque has given me decades of good living, and I will always be very fond of both the city and the state.
