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I have been on the road a lot lately and have not had the opportunity to post.
I know several wiccans as well as pagans and heathens and find them as spiritual as anyone else. Inevitably when a faith become institutionalized it becomes a man made faith and thus a matter of pride and self interest. I think this is one reason the creator likes having a one on one relationship. anything involving two people (or more) becomes a people thing, and the creator gets lost in the shuffle.
You know, it makes one wonder what this world be like if there were no institutionalized or organized religions and people were free to worship the Creator as they so believe without imposing their beliefs on others. I look around me and I thank the Creator every day that I have been given to travel this lifepath and the people and the knowledge that I have gained along the way, I have often heard it said, that with age comes wisdom and if that be the case, I have a lot of wisdom to obtain and to impart as I traveled this path and I am constantly humbled and amazed at the people that I meet along the way.
A week ago I was in Mena Arkansas. I was teaching a class on taking the test to become an appraiser. I spent evenings after class swimming in one of the rocky bottom cold water, spring fed creek. We were able to use a small meeting room at the local Subway for the class. If you are ever in Mena (one of the unsung beauty spots of the Quachitas) stop in, the people there are wonderful.
This week I am in (just finishing up) Ardmore, OK. Just south of the Arbuckle Mountains, we took our bumper pull camping trailer and am currently sitting at the edge of Lake Murray watching the sun go down. I can hear the whipporwills, there seems to be a lot of cattails along the shore. Being this late in the season, there are few skiers or fast motor boats, and the sun sets on a glass lake reflecting the red and blue and lavender of an evening sky.........I stand here in quiet joy and awe. I am reminded of the Oglala Sioux, Black Elks words........"Great Spirit, once more behold me on earth, and learn to hear my feeble voice"..........
I suppose that I have no belief. I honor those that have them, truly I do, regardless of what shape their religion takes. In fact, I somewhat envy them their faith. It would be nice to have a soft place to land.
As for me, I don't know why, I just never have had faith. Even as a child, I couldn't connect with the abstract. So, I teach my children religion (as I said, I envy those that have faith, and I am very pleased that my eldest dd has a lot of it) and I sit in church but I feel like an imposter. Conversly, when my daughter was born I knew that there had to be a God to make birth the miracle that it is. But how to connect? I really don't know.
I'm a bit late joining the circle but I have the type of OCD that won't allow me to skip to the end of the thread, so bear with me, as I'm still on the first page!
I just wanted to say... maybe it is the church that you go to!? I grew up in a pentacostal environment (speaking in tongues and spiritual warfare) but never could understand it so I pretended but felt like an idiot. So now I don't attend church... I find that doing research on what others believe has been exciting and I see things I identify with and can believe and other things that are interesting but I just can't believe it! I love to learn. Maybe you are a victim of religious OCD like me? Either way I wouldn't change a thing! You are who you are.
Goodpasture, your appraisals are wonderful.
and painted with so much love and wisdom.
it does indeed make all the difference.
and certainly settle differences in playful ongoing joy.
"you are who you are."
whoowhoo, where is my mirror, eh?
If I am posting more than usual, it is just that I have taken some time off. today instead of driving home and "hitting the grindstone" I decided to simply stay another day beside this beautiful lake and the tranquility that it instills in me. I am sitting on the concrete picnic table bench and watching as RV site after RV site fills up as people arrive and find their spot for the Labor Day weekend. Most are people with gray hair, and they are unloading lots of chairs, large grills, and blowing up air mattresses. I assume they are anticipating children and grand children arriving on Friday evening and are anxious to find that joy that only a family playing together can bring.
Although I find a lot of joy in the laughter of children and the excited voices of discovery, I have discovered that a little of it goes a long way and I seek the solitude and quiet of our earth and our creator. So I won't be here when those voices are raised in excitement. This is one more thing to be thankful about.
This morning, as the sun was coming up, I took a walk to the lake and listened a few minutes as the day came alive. It is at such times that I think and speculate......and I talk to the creator. Did you ever think that you "test your feelings" for how the day will go when you first begin to awake? Often those first feelings will color the day as a whole. I thought this morning (I woke up cranky.....I wasn't in my bed at home, and I couldn't turn the dogs out to run around, I had to get up and take them.....etc) was going to begin a fairly miserable day. I gave a lot of thought about just hooking up the camper and going on home. Then I went for a short walk, and a time of prayer meditation........and realized that it was me giving power to those negative thoughts. I thought about how many times our emotions and feelings have caused us to be sick or to be unhappy or to fight with someone whose only interest in us is to be helpful and loving. All we really have to do is say "no!" when those negative emotions rise up in us. We have to resist the emotions, the negativities. Instead embrace the awakening day with joy and thanksgiving. If we allow it, tears of self-pity can infect all we do.......it can make our hurts and and pains worse and worse still, make them appear justified......yet all have such feelings, and while we disparage those others who indulge in self-pity, we discover how incredibly justified we are in our own misery.
This morning I again was taught that if you ignore those feelings, if you do not give them power, those hurts and pains and dilemmas and harsh feelings go away. I recall the story of the young man being told about there being two wolves in his spirit. These two wolves are fighting to gain control over the young man. One is very powerful and represents anger and war. the other is not so powerful and represents joy. the young man asks his elder which will win out. quietly the elder says "The one you feed."
this morning I began by feeding the wolf of anger and hurt. the creator showed me that I was only hurting myself.
The phrase comes from the newspaper comic strip "Rose is Rose". When Rose's husband Jimbo takes out the garbage at night, he stops for a moment to look at the sky and contemplate the universe. He calls it a "Garbage Moment".
Many of us who live in the suburbs recognize this experience; for many it's one of the few times that they do step out of their busy lives and have a moment of solitude, seek a larger perspective and/or an experience of natural beauty.
Last night I took out the garbage, and looked up. The moon was full, or very close to it. There were high, thin orange/purple clouds over the lower half of the sky, up to the moon. The clouds were so thin that the brightness of the the moon shone right thru them undiminished, which made it look like the moon was between me and the clouds. It was startling; I had to stand there and watch until the clouds blew clear of the moon.
Just as Rose does in the comics, my wife understands the Garbage Moment and does not ask me why it takes 5-10 minutes to take out the garbage.
Many years ago I was hitchhiking across Canada. I was on Bank Street in Ottawa Ontario and was trying to get to the area around the Parliament Buildings. I stopped and watched the sun go down. Just a few minutes but the sky was spectacular. Aross the street from me was a guy trying to get a tire to cooperate. He was working as a tire changer, and this particular tire was giving him fits. All while the sky was exploding in colors and the day was closing, he was cussing and carrying on. I really believe that had he taken a "garbage moment" the tire problem would have disappeared. but he gave power to the frustration and anger instead of taking the garbage moment and letting it give him power......and it cost him dearly.
Tonight I arrived home and reacquainted myself with my animals. I fed the cows, threw some feed to the chickens, fed the dogs......have you ever noticed how dogs love you? The love of a dog for his family has to be the closest thing to the love of the creator for us that exists. Unabashed, undemanding, pure........I pulled into the the yard and every dog I have was ecstatic....they jumped they howled, they played with each other......all while I am unloading the truck........every one of them had a smile on their face.
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