Struggling with homosexuality... (translation, disciple, Christian, believe)
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Go focus on another sin for awhile, all sins are equal and you've whined about this one more than enough...go help fat gluttons see the folly of their ways for awhile. I swear, you're like a fat kid with candy, you just don't want to give it up.
Start a thread on any of the sins, and you will see that if someone tries to say God thinks its okay, and we were born that way, i will have a differing opinion.
A child to be killed if he/she curses their parent (Leviticus 20:9)
All persons guilty of adultery to be killed (20:10)
The daughter of a priest who engages in prostitution to be burned alive until dead (21:9)
The bride of a priest to be a virgin (21:13)
Ritual killing of animals, using cattle, sheep and goats (22:19)
Observation of 7 feasts: Passover, Feast of Unleavened Bread, Feast of Firstfruits, Feast of Pentecost, Feast of Trumpets, Day of Atonement, Feast of Tabernacles (23)
A person who takes the Lord's name in vain is to be killed (24:16)
The code prohibits:
Heterosexual intercourse when a woman has her period (Leviticus 18:19),
Harvesting the corners of a field (19:9),
Eating fruit from a young tree (19:23),
Cross-breeding livestock (19:19),
Sowing a field with mixed seed (19:19),
Shaving or getting a hair cut (19:27),
Tattoos (19:28),
Even a mildly disabled person from becoming a priest (21:18),
Charging of interest on a loan (25:37),
Collecting firewood on Saturday to prevent your family from freezing,
Wearing of clothes made from a blend of textile materials; today this might be cotton and polyester, and
Eating of non-kosher foods (e.g. shrimp).
Of the 613 laws, most Christian denominations regard very few as binding on Christians today. Conservative Christians often discuss:
the Ten Commandments found in three places -- one of them being Exodus 20:3-17.
Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 which relate to homosexuality.
You all should really read this link, expecially the original poster. It really puts things in perspective.
Moderator cut: personal remarks
Last edited by Alpha8207; 02-17-2009 at 04:14 PM..
I am not a Christian so I cannot answer you from a Christian point of view. From a human and humane point of view though I do find your post so sad and it really hurts me to think that someone who has love to give should struggle with what I believe to be entirely normal.
First I would say that nobody needs people in their lives who are toxic and do not accept you and love for you who are rather than for your sexual orientation.
Even if one should for religious dogmatic reason "disapprove" of your sexuality I feel that nobody who is loving, decent and has empathy would ever turn away from you or try to sitgmatise you for your nature.
I find it so disturbing that we have learnt so little in millennia of bigotry and homophobia.
It is not only not a good thing to deny your own nature but I genuinely feel it is actually dangerous.
I know it is hard but you should never let others dictate who you are or what your feelings are. Self denial is a form of self abuse.
People are people and those who give love should also receive it. What you or I do behind closed doors is nobody else's business as long as you do not hurt anyone else.
We are more than our sexual nature, we are human beings capable of love and kindness and I will never accept that it is OK to make people social pariahs because they do not fit the "norm" or the mould we want them to.
Our human nature is deeply complex, rich in emotions and desires, it is part of what makes us human. We are not simple automatons who must conform to type simply because it pleases the majority.
I will never accept that a loving God would allow you and millions of other decent human beings feel the way you do if it was not natural
You are not doing anything wrong. You are not wrong. Those who take a sanctimonious holier than thou attitude to your sexuality are simply trying to control you and bring you back to the herd.
Humans come in a wonderful polychrome myriad of beliefs, philosophies, sexualities, colours, cultures and mores. It is the glory of our shared humanity that we can be so different and yet still belong.
Those who reject you and decry you are doing so out of ignorance and fear.
The herd mentality is a powerful one but do not give in because you will simply self destruct.
Swimming against the current is never easy and I genuinely understand your concerns and fears, all valid ones. But remember that you are not alone, Millions of people swim against the current ( whatever the current is in their particular situation is) every day and live to tell the tale.
It seems to me that if your family friends and community are that judgemental and non accepting then maybe you need to find people who love you as you are not as they wish you to be.
Maybe you need to move away from a toxic environment which tries to negate your very being . This is not loving and it is not kind.
You need to accept who you are and if others are not intelligent and kind enough to accept you then I would say you deserve much better.
Everyone deserves respect and love. And it goes both ways. How can you even begin to respect those who have no respect for you.
It saddens me that in the 21st century some people still presume to judge other decent loving human beings because they deviate from what they find personally "acceptable".
Do not struggle with your feelings, embrace who you are, living in a shadow , hiding your true nature from others but most of all from yourself is just so , so sad , so pointless and most of all so incredibly dangerous.
You have love to give, give it the best way for you. Not for others.
We all crave acceptance but ultimately it is ourselves we have to live with on a daily basis.
True love does not place conditions on who you are. Nobody who is a loving human being and a true Christian would make you feel diminished as a person for being Gay.
Love is love. It comes in many shades and hues and this battered world of ours needs it whatever shape it comes in.
Be yourself and if those around you are too stupid or too bigoted to see you as a human being not a sexuality then it is their loss.
I know it is easy to give advice but I long ago stopped trying to please others. It was quite frankly destroying me. I am not Gay so it is not the same thing , but I know that we all need self respect and this is impossible to achieve when we try to be someone we are not and accept other people bullying us.
Your upbringing sounds very much like my own upbringing, except you are a lot more brave in telling your parents when you were 15. I never had the guts to do it. When I was a teenager, most of my friends in high school were girls and the few guy friends I had I would subconciously try to connect with them too deeply on an emotional level, thus causing them to think I was wierd and turn against me. Therefore, I have become a very shy person.
My parents told me I was going to hell for working on Sundays during college for crying out loud, there was no way I would ever bring this to their attention. College was HELL for me, because I attended a local community college and lived at home. College for most people is a great time to discover yourself, but for me it was the absolute worst four years of my life. As for my life now, I am no longer living at home but due to the national economic situation I wasn't able to move away like I planned when graduating college. My parents still keep close tabs on me, checking things like my facebook page daily and calling me to update them on everything I do, so its pretty much the same as if I was living at home.
I too am also somewhat involved in leadership at my church, so I have committments and can't just walk away. I understand why most homosexuals are atheist, especially those raised in fundamentalist homes. While eventually a more liberal Christian denomination might be a possibility, atheism is out of the question for me. I tried a more liberal denomination once before about a year ago, and my parents insulted me and condemned me for attending there, plus I felt guilty, so I went back to the denomination in which I was raised. I have never had a significant other, female or male. I have had severe crushes, but nothing more than a fantasy. I sometimes feel like I am the only person my age in this situation.
This sounds like the typical club/bar scene, for both gays and straights. There are homosexuals out there who want a monogamous, fulfilling, intimate relationship. Myself, I have no interest in casual sex. Its the deep emotional connection that I so long for.
I'm not saying you should leave the religion if you like it. I know many gay people have found a way to reconcile belief with their sexuality. I found it hard to for many reasons and looking at other things in what I believed and found that religion didn't add up, but that is for another conversation.
Don't think you're alone in being emotionally or sexually stunted. I think most people aren't as active as they would say or as happy. And the ones that do are liars.
This has always been one of my biggest issues with people against homosexuality. Being gay just isn't about sex. It's about spending time with someone, caring for someone, loving someone, being close with someone. It's no different than it is with straight couples.
When gay people are young they don't have the chances to start their emotional and social development like their straight counterparts do. Gay kids don't get to go on group dates or go to the movies or mall with their BF/GFs. Since many gay people don't have the chance to start developing relationship skills until later in life, they tend to make a lot of immature decisions. I think many gay people in their 20's act like teenagers because in some way they are.
If people as a whole would realize that their is nothing wrong with being gay than gay kids and teens could grow up to be just as emotionally stable as everyone else.
This has always been one of my biggest issues with people against homosexuality. Being gay just isn't about sex. It's about spending time with someone, caring for someone, loving someone, being close with someone. It's no different than it is with straight couples.
Agreed. And why should anyone be denied the chance for happiness in their lives.
Also, how many heterosexuals could live HAPPILY with no prospect of a loving relationship in their lives?
True, however, you cannot just come out of the closet and expect everything to be fine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DTO Luv
I'm not saying you should leave the religion if you like it. I know many gay people have found a way to reconcile belief with their sexuality. I found it hard to for many reasons and looking at other things in what I believed and found that religion didn't add up, but that is for another conversation.
Don't think you're alone in being emotionally or sexually stunted. I think most people aren't as active as they would say or as happy. And the ones that do are liars.
This has always been one of my biggest issues with people against homosexuality. Being gay just isn't about sex. It's about spending time with someone, caring for someone, loving someone, being close with someone. It's no different than it is with straight couples.
When gay people are young they don't have the chances to start their emotional and social development like their straight counterparts do. Gay kids don't get to go on group dates or go to the movies or mall with their BF/GFs. Since many gay people don't have the chance to start developing relationship skills until later in life, they tend to make a lot of immature decisions. I think many gay people in their 20's act like teenagers because in some way they are.
If people as a whole would realize that their is nothing wrong with being gay than gay kids and teens could grow up to be just as emotionally stable as everyone else.
Like I said, in my experiences it is extremely rare that they want "monogamous, fulfilling, and intimate relationships".
Quote:
Originally Posted by bchris02
This sounds like the typical club/bar scene, for both gays and straights. There are homosexuals out there who want a monogamous, fulfilling, intimate relationship. Myself, I have no interest in casual sex. Its the deep emotional connection that I so long for.
All my life I have been struggling with homosexual desires. I was raised by a family so conservative they make Pat Robertson and Jerry Fallwell look like left wing nuts. I wouldn't put it beyond my dad to kill me if he ever found out about this. I would be disowned entirely by my family nonetheless. That said I was raised in a very conservative church just a little to the left of Westboro, where gays were usually blamed for various events as God's judgment for our nation's tolerance of homosexuality. I still believe in God however and have prayed numerous times for Him to take this burden from me, but it has not happened. In addition, I live in an extremely conservative area where it would be next to impossible for me to live as an open gay man. I would have to leave my church, friends, and family and would be completely alone. I don't think I could bear that. Not that in addition to a very possible reality that I would burn in hell for eternity for it. So I am basically stuck in a pathetic existence and I need to be prepared for a long lonely life. For whatever reason God will not lift this burden from me. To my fellow Christians, what advice do you give? I can't go to my church minister about this because I'll be excommunicated from the church. I can't go to my friends and I sure can't go to my family. I know on this board i've said some things about gays that I shouldn't have but that is due to my conservative surroundings and me fighting these desires. I apologize to those ive offended.
think about the fact that God won't lift the burden from you for a minute... God is perfect and he created mankind in his likeness- perfect- we are all here on our own journey and God created each and everyone of us the way that he did for a reason. you will not burn in hell for being gay- it seems to me that you are creating your own hell right here on earth by not being yourself and living your life. go to a public library and find books on coming out, and understanding your feelings about being gay- no one chose this life any more than they chose being of color or right-handed or tall or short. Read Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch- you will be inspired and enlightened. This series of book saved my life in so many ways- please do not let what you have been through thus far rule the rest of your life! you are loved you will see- you are not alone and you don't have to have a long lonely life. I promise.
True, however, you cannot just come out of the closet and expect everything to be fine.
Like I said, in my experiences it is extremely rare that they want "monogamous, fulfilling, and intimate relationships".
So you should be chastised and treated poorly and risk losing your friends and family because you're different from them? You wouldn't treat your child bad for being born left handed or with red hair. There isn't any reason in the world (outside of those with religious beliefs) that homosexuality should be considered deviant or unnatural. Homosexuality has obviously been around for as long as people have been able to record history.
It's not new and it's not going away and eventually, even in this country, we will one day get to the point where people couldn't imagine gays not being allowed to marry or being fired from work for being gay. It's just going to take time and increased awareness that gays are every where. We're your friends and family and there is nothing wrong with us.
Also gay people aren't any more promiscuous than straight people. To label most of us that way is ignorant of the many of us who are very relationship, even family oriented. Saying gays are all sex driven is has no more basis than saying blacks are all in gangs or latinos are all illegal immigrants. It's a trumped up, uninformed stereotype.
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