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This thread sounds awfully familiar. There was one posted a while back about a mom who wanted to move close to her friends, but the dad and kids didn't want to move. And the husband owed child support and was running from it...hmmm.
Nope not me though I should look at that post though. Also everyone thansk for the help. His side makes sense, but I know that alot of the problems we have too I can see my point of view. THis definatly needs counseling if it has any chance at all of surviving. Then maybee we can decide on where to really move if we stay together.
Ok when you say it like that I can see your point how he would think I am picking my friend over him. I do value them both equally. Honestly and I do take my marriage vows seriously, but I want us both too as well. What happend is I starting considering leaving him because of the work situation and if i wehre to move i was going to be by my friend so I could be closer to her and have support afterwards and know someone where i moved. We are still together though and I have been trying to make the money issue work and so far nothing has become positive from it. While trying to work on it I thought I would still be with him and I brought up about moving out to where my friend was, he said no and explained he didnt want to be out in the country to much boonies where my friend was BUT ANYWHERE else but where she was was fine. Again after posting this the real issue is not movign where my friend is the real issue is teh other problesm going on but we need to move and I am stressed becasue of finances and I feel I get no help with them so that is where I am going nuts. If eel the weight is all on me.
Being the sole supporter can be very overwhelming, and I'm sorry for your stress.
Hate to say it, but he does sound like a deadbeat dad from what you just said. So, to clarify...he owes child support but is avoiding working on purpose so he won't have to pay it??
Thanks. Yes that is correct. Hes mad at the mother for getting it when the child is not in not in her custody so he refuses to get a job becuae it would go to her.
Sounds to me like you married the wrong person, you should have married the girl friend you left behind. She seems to be more important to you than your husband. You've been married one year and you have these kind of thoughts. I feel sorry for your husband, bet he didn't know he was getting someone that thinks nothing of wedding vows. The word pathetic comes to mind...
Just read the real reason for all this BS. If you beat around the bush with him like you have with the posters tying to help you, no damn wonder you don't know which direction is up. Wouldn't it have saved alot of words just to post the real truth of the matter first? I'm still shaking my head wondering why he married you.
Wow! See, this is why you're on my list, NR. Very astute observation, and I heart intuitive yet analytical people.
MichiganMom, what you have here is a failure to communicate.
And honestly? It doesn't matter what anyone else on the board would do. In the end, you and your hub are the ones making the decision. I can say, however, that it is very tough to move from a city situation to a country one if you really enjoy the city life, and vice versa. I can see how a basic lifestyle difference like that could end a marriage, although if a couple truly communicates it would be more likely to prevent one in the first place.
I can't see a desire to be near a friend ending a marriage, though. Heck, I miss my friends and DC metro life very much, but I'm in Nowhereville, Long Island because that's where my guy is, and I can freelance from anywhere. He's a rare bird, and I get along with him better than anyone I've known in my life, so the quality of the relationship is worth it to me.
It's tough, though, so I feel your pain if your issues are about lifestyle. Location can make or break your quality of life, and if you're somewhere you don't particularly enjoy, you really have to have a big ol' love roaring in your heart, or else you're just going to resent him. The catch is, the same goes for him. If he concedes and you move to the country, if he hates it there, he could come to resent you, too.
I hope you get some good counseling and that it all works out for you.
I dont beat around the bush with him at all. I talk to him way different than this. I have always been honest and fortright with what i have said to him.
Thanks. Yes that is correct. Hes mad at the mother for getting it when the child is not in not in her custody so he refuses to get a job becuae it would go to her.
Okay, so now the question is, why did you marry a man of such low character?
sorry either way I know its right I think he should pay the CS the ex doesnt have custody of the child the grandparents too but the state has it wehre the ex would get the money and because she would get it he dosnt want to pay it.
This thread is moving too fast for me! As I typed out my soliloquy, we get more info.
Ummm, yeah. He's not working so he can avoid paying child support?
So spiting his ex-wife is more important to him than building a stable, secure, comfortable life with his current one?
Thanks Avienne that makes alot of sense and I should have just posted the real issue in the first place. I apologize. Again I am not like this with communication and him at all. I am always honest and tell him what is on my mind. I also knwo its up to us in the end, I think more than anything I just wanted to vent, get some things out and I relaly appreciate everyone listening.
Okay, so now the question is, why did you marry a man of such low character?
Nuh-uh. The question is, does anyone know a good divorce lawyer?
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