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I'm looking for some relationship advice from others, older and perhaps who have gone through the same situation. I'm 20 years old and have been in a serious, committed relationship for just under five years. The person in the relationship and I have both changed a lot through the relationship. He's the only person I've actually "dated". He is great in many ways, but I also have many reservations, and am not certain if I can see myself with him forever, which he is planning on spending together. I'm in college, and am beginning to realize there are so many people out there. How do I know with the right one, especially with the reservations I'm having? I don't want to hurt him, or lose the best thing that's happened to me, but at the same time, I'm not 100 percent sure I would be happy being with him forever. I'm afraid of missing him/realizing my mistake if I let go, but at the same time, I'm not sure I want to be "us" forever.
Sounds like your heart is telling you that you need to see what else is out there. I realize this wont be easy. But few of lifes decisions are. Good luck young lady!
What you're going through is normal. People change a lot during their 20s. That's why I would never make a lifetime commitment to someone that early in life.
If you're not sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this person, then you need to ask yourself what will make you happy. Are you even looking for a lifetime commitment at this point in your life? If not, then you're doing this man a disservice. He deserves someone who'll commit to him. If you are looking for something permanent, but you're not sure that this is the guy you want to be with, then you need to figure out why. Has he changed or have you changed in a way that no longer makes you compatible?
Lastly, there's always a risk that you will regret leaving him. You may get back out in the dating world, meet lots and lots of jerks, and feel like you lost a really great guy. Then again, staying with someone just because the rest of the world is full of jerks isn't a good idea either. Just ask yourself if you can see yourself without this person in your life. Don't even factor dating other people. This decision should come down to you and him, not you, him and other men.
Location: I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry!
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Just continue to date and see where it goes. Be honest with him if he asks or pushes you to take a position. Just let him know your not sure yet what you want. that in itself could be a deal killer, ah but oh well at least you were honest.
I wouldn't make any long term commitments now. If he asks you it may be best to answer that you are not ready. People change a lot between 20 and 25 as well. It is a tough thing to do, but easier than the next conversation if you don't. Earlier posters have spot on advice.
I'm looking for some relationship advice from others, older and perhaps who have gone through the same situation. I'm 20 years old and have been in a serious, committed relationship for just under five years. The person in the relationship and I have both changed a lot through the relationship. He's the only person I've actually "dated". He is great in many ways, but I also have many reservations, and am not certain if I can see myself with him forever, which he is planning on spending together. I'm in college, and am beginning to realize there are so many people out there. How do I know with the right one, especially with the reservations I'm having? I don't want to hurt him, or lose the best thing that's happened to me, but at the same time, I'm not 100 percent sure I would be happy being with him forever. I'm afraid of missing him/realizing my mistake if I let go, but at the same time, I'm not sure I want to be "us" forever.
Okay. Let me offer a thought to you: There are very few serious, committed relationship at age 20. I'm not saying that to be flip. It's just what I've seen in life.
Now, here's my second thought: Between now and the time you're, say, 27, you will change more than you will for the rest of your days. Sure, you might say to yourself, "Why, I've got it all together now. I know what the heck I'm doing....etc. etc." But the reality is that your attitudes, your ambitions, your tastes, your guiding philosophies, and your approach to relationships will change radically. How can you be sure that this guy, great as he may be, will grow in the same direction as you will?
Because you really haven't entered the crucible of adulthood yet. One of the outrages of education today is that it has prolonged adolescence to the age of 25 or 26. Sixty-five years ago, 24-year-olds were commanding companies of soldiers in places such as Bastogne or Okinawa. Today, we don't even allow them rent cars while traveling on business. In short, you need to go to your job, have your own place, buy your own things, pay your own bills, and deal with your own challenges before you really will begin to understand yourself.
I think you know this intuitively already. You're looking about and seeing a host of other interesting men and already wondering what they're like to be with. That doesn't mean your boyfriend isn't a great guy. But even if steak is all you've ever known, that doesn't mean you don't want to try lobster.
So here's what I think. Tell your boyfriend that you want to experience life a little, rather than be in this ongoing training for marriage. Step outside your comfort zone and date around (A completely different proposition than sleep around). Satisfy yourself, one way or another, that you really know what you like in a man. Who knows? You may actually find you had been right about your boyfriend all along. But you'll never know until you sample what else is on the menu.
I'm looking for some relationship advice from others, older and perhaps who have gone through the same situation. I'm 20 years old and have been in a serious, committed relationship for just under five years. The person in the relationship and I have both changed a lot through the relationship. He's the only person I've actually "dated". He is great in many ways, but I also have many reservations, and am not certain if I can see myself with him forever, which he is planning on spending together. I'm in college, and am beginning to realize there are so many people out there. How do I know with the right one, especially with the reservations I'm having? I don't want to hurt him, or lose the best thing that's happened to me, but at the same time, I'm not 100 percent sure I would be happy being with him forever. I'm afraid of missing him/realizing my mistake if I let go, but at the same time, I'm not sure I want to be "us" forever.
My husband and I were together when I was 20 and later when on to get married and we are still together. The part of your posts that stands out to me is bolded above. I never felt that way about my husband, then or now. I could never imagine my life with out him then or now. I never second-guessed myself then or now. Something to think about Only you can make the right decision for yourself, like Sierra said, do not take relationship advice from others, go with what feels right for you.
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Only you can make the right decision for yourself, like Sierra said, do not take relationship advice from others, go with what feels right for you. 
