Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She posted earlier in this thread: Tornado in Suffolk
-------------------
cinderobyn, Take Care! Sorry you had such a stressful day! *HUGS* from the "other" Robyn
Thanks, Lady Robyn. I did see that post after I posted. I'm hoping we hear from her again. She must be exhausted.
I'm struck by the irony....the words in her tag line under her name.
So let's give her some safety advice- she's not been on the dating bicycle in years. The world is different and the internet dating world is very different.
Folks with experience- can you tell us how you meet someone the first time...how long you wait......what you try to learn?
Here are some of the things I found helpful after being out of the dating arena for more than 30 years-
First, know what YOU are looking for-companionship, a friend or something more. Have in mind what kind of boundaries you want in place and stick to them.
Read a bunch of profiles ignoring the pictures-pictures lie and with Photoshop they lie more LOL Remember some people are not good with the written word but are great human beings.
Determine whether you want someone with the same interests or different ones. Maybe someone has an interest in their profile you have never tried but would like to explore.
Spend some time emailing and then talking on the phone before meeting. People give a hint of themselves during this type of communication. Learn to read between the lines. Ask questions to clarify.
First meetings are best in a public place, short time frame [like for coffee] and with NO expectations. Remember both of you are likely to be nervous and may not give your best impression. After 30 minutes to an hour you might have a hint of whether there is anything to spark a second meeting. If not, please be honest and let the person know.
Watch for red flags-the conversation should be a 2 way street. Someone interested in getting to know you will make the effort to hear what you are saying. If your input is not respected or required, move on-things DO NOT get better. If anything, it will get worse.
BASIC SAFETY
Tell someone where you are going and who you are meeting. Also, when you expect to return. A trusted friend should call to verify.
First meetings should be short, public and casual. Malls, Starbucks that type of place.
Do not share personal information-last name, work place, kids and their ages etc. This can all come out later if appropriate. Remember you are meeting a stranger.
Final and most important piece of advice
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS--IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO BACK AWAY WITHOUT KNOWING WHY, JUST DO IT--WOMEN ARE TOO BUSY BEING NICE AND SOMETIMES PUT THEMSELVES AT RISK BY IGNORING THEIR GUT--
IT YOU FEEL THE NEED TO LEAVE, DO SO WITHOUT QUESTIONING YOURSELF
Good morning everyone... thank you for your concern. Thise tornadoes were a terrible thing yesterday.
All I could do was see that tv screen there in the office. My neighborhood, the name of my street on there... Tornado warning, teh kids at home by themselves.
Tornadoes touching down just miles away from my work. There was nothing I could do but pray.
So much destruction near our hospital, and to our hospital, the homes and businesses around it.
Tornadoes separating the kids and I.
We are all fine. I had t he kids get in an interior room under a doorway, with heavy blankets over their bodies, heads.
I was just happy to get home last night with every one being ok. My sister called me last night to ask if I was ok...
For a long time my cell was out. I couldn't reach her...
Thank you guys for the advice up there... and thank you LadyRobyn, for posting for me... such wonderful people here, is all I can say... such very wonderful people.
Robyn - I'm so glad you and the kids are okay - I went to bed early last night and had no idea about the tornados! Are they "normal" for your area?
It's been quite awhile since I did the internet dating bit, but let's see......First and foremost (after safety issues of course) - keep your sense of humor! Good lord could I tell stories about some of the guys I met...Star Trek guy, sweat guy, hoppy guy, swap underwear guy....If you want those stories let me know
I would exchange email or IMs with those I felt were interesting for about a month before going any further - in that space of time I was able to get a pretty good "feel" for whether or not we might be compatible. Some were just out for sex and by insisting on just email or IM for a month, if that's what they were after, it showed up within that period of time.
After email, I gave out my phone number and talked on the phone with them for about a week or two - after that I'd agree to meet them.
As future1 said - ALWAYS meet in a public place. I would have the first meeting over coffee and I always paid for mine, he paid for his. I would then run errands after that first meeting, never went straight home, whether I liked the guy or not - I didn't want to be followed. While running errands, I watched to be sure I wasn't being followed (may sound paranoid, but better paranoid than something else).
If we hit it off during our first "meet and greet", I would either go to lunch or dinner with them. By the second time we went out, I pretty much went by my "gut" regarding whether or not to see them again, have them pick me up at my apartment, etc. Luckily, my gut didn't fail me and I had a great time, met a lot of interesting guys, some who were strange (see above guys) but not dangerous, and of course I met my husband as well
Some of the guys I met were wonderful and helped me through some rough spots in my divorce/post divorce life - one even helped me get the rest of my things out of the house I had with my husband.....I'm still friends with some of them, although only via email (hubby knows about them). With these guys there was no "chemistry" and I and they knew we would only be friends, but that was okay. I met a journalist, a writer, an artist, an architect, an engineer, so many different people and learned so many new things and broadened my horizons.
I guess the bottom line with internet dating is to follow all the "safety precautions" and go with what your gut tells you. I was lucky in that I never felt my safety was compromised with any of the people I met online, perhaps because I had a relatively long period between initial contact and actually meeting them, I don't know. There were some I chose not to meet because of the "vibes" I got via email or IM (sweat guy was one of those).
I tried to stay rational as well. Internet dating has gotten a bad rep sometimes, but when you think about it, the people you meet at the store or on the street could be just as dangerous as those you meet online - actually, they can be worse as you may see them every day and figure they are "safe" because of what you see day in and day out and you're "lulled" into a false sense of security; then you date them and it's like "WHOA! Where did THAT come from?" type of thing.
I also took a self-defense class for women right after I left my ex, which I think helped me as well - it tought me not only how to defend myself if necessary, but also how to "hone" my instincts regarding people and situations. It also helped to build my self-esteem after what I went through in my marriage. If you have such a class near you, you might want to consider taking it.
Okay, enough of this ramble. Again, I'm glad you and the kids are safe after the weather you had. Any word on the jobs you applied for? Hope you have a wonderful day!
HI! I am starting the other half of my half day here... my stomach is growling for mexican, but i am holding back.... I am in a library and there is a young man with a cellphone that keeps going off to rap music...
gggrrrrr.... Soon, i have a date with destinty, and he is in the form of my.....eye dr! LOL.. I know I need new glasses already. my r eye has worsened.
WAH! There is a lot of talk everywhere you go about the tornadoes. So many have lost their homes, and businesses.
Please keep thoughts and prayers out to the families who live in my area who have lost...
Hey, Robyn!! Glad to see your posts! I can't think of anything much worse than not being able to reach our children in a situation such as you had. I'm very happy you guys are all well.
Hey, Robyn!! Glad to see your posts! I can't think of anything much worse than not being able to reach our children in a situation such as you had. I'm very happy you guys are all well.
Thanks,.. you know, it was really hard. especially when the news kept flashing our street for the tornado warning, and adding extra time to it to last.....
Then the knowing that they were touching down places between us....
I am just glad that we are ok, I do not think there were any fatalities, but I am not certain at this point.
Strange things happening.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
