The Confession of a Prolific cheater. Offering advice to women, or men. (friends, therapist)
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I am not concerned or frightened about my wife's opinion of me as a cheater. I'm not sure where you got that from but I'd guess its another assumption. And yes, I am very concerned about my legacy as a father to my kids. I can definitely imagine that, so you're incorrect again.
And everything you described which would be necessary is taking place. So I am not sure why you still think I'm trying to 'get away with it'. Yes I stated that my hope is to have a healthy relationship with my wife and salvage the family unit, but that is not my ultimate goal. My ultimate goal is to be a healthy man and salvage myself. Once I am in that position, I will be available to salvage my relationships with others.
When you stop worrying about correcting people who are "wrong," you will get healthier faster.
Your "legacy as a father"? Honey, your kids don't care about your legacy. More narcissistic jargon. What they will find out suddenly one day is that dad had lots of girlfriends while he was still married to mom. There is no way to couch that in therapy language to make it go down easier. It fundamentally changes how they think of you and how they interact with you.
You do some things that are VERY common to serial cheaters: Casting your wife in an almost saintlike role, which may be very close to the truth but is not going to help you in marriage counseling, and enjoying your role as an "experienced" cheater who readily helps others to avoid cheaters. This just keeps you from feeling real remorse and working on REAL recovery.
Of course you are very concerned about your wife's opinion of you or you would just be out with it already.
When you stop worrying about correcting people who are "wrong," you will get healthier faster.
Your "legacy as a father"? Honey, your kids don't care about your legacy. More narcissistic jargon. What they will find out suddenly one day is that dad had lots of girlfriends while he was still married to mom. There is no way to couch that in therapy language to make it go down easier. It fundamentally changes how they think of you and how they interact with you.
You do some things that are VERY common to serial cheaters: Casting your wife in an almost saintlike role, which may be very close to the truth but is not going to help you in marriage counseling, and enjoying your role as an "experienced" cheater who readily helps others to avoid cheaters.
Of course you are very concerned about your wife's opinion of you or you would just be out with it already.
I am not concerned about my wifes opinion because she already knows what I have done and what my problem is. She knows Im in therapy about it and she is soon t join me. I'm not sure why you keep insisting you know things that you don't.
Your other points are duly noted. I assume they are with the intention of providing constructive criticism, and for that I thank you, even if we disagree.
First I want to know, if your handle is "DazedandAmazed" why did you sign your OP "LMB"?
It's not important.
Where in the Bay Area are you? I spent many years in the East Bay. Didn't enjoy it as much as Southern California but Northern California does have its rare gems which I enjoy, including the Napa area, Monterey, and my favorite place on earth - Point Reyes National Seashore.
Where in the Bay Area are you? I spent many years in the East Bay. Didn't enjoy it as much as Southern California but Northern California does have its rare gems which I enjoy, including the Napa area, Monterey, and my favorite place on earth - Point Reyes National Seashore.
I'm in the North Bay Area, wine country, 30 mins from the coast. It's very, very pretty but kind of boring for a single person, since everyone is married. I grew up in southern California and am planning on moving back there.
I'm in the North Bay Area, wine country, 30 mins from the coast. It's very, very pretty but kind of boring for a single person, since everyone is married. I grew up in southern California and am planning on moving back there.
I grew up in Bakersfield (I still love that place believe it or not) but I spent 6 years in Orange County and one in San Diego. I lived in Fullerton and Huntington Beach. I really miss it there. I wish I could move back but theres just nothing in my job field for me to do there. Such a shame.
I think you should tell your wife, OP. Not necessarily the sheer number, but the fact that you have been unfaithful. And if you truly want to keep her in your life and want to change, tell her that too (but only if you are serious about stopping your seductive ways).
I grew up in Bakersfield (I still love that place believe it or not) but I spent 6 years in Orange County and one in San Diego. I lived in Fullerton and Huntington Beach. I really miss it there. I wish I could move back but theres just nothing in my job field for me to do there. Such a shame.
Oh, heaven on earth? Yeah, go back. Oh how I miss Del Mar and Solana Beach
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