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Oh - your opinion matters little to me (well, not at all, really) since you are not a good person and you don't know me. I have a feeling that you probably think ill of anyone who tries to tell you that you aren't a good person. That's okay with me. I don't think my opinion should matter to you - but the opinions of your wife and children - the people you are hurting over and over again - well, those should matter to you. And if you can't be honest with them about who you really are and still have them think that you are a good person - well, that should mean something to you.
Do you feel better now that you told me that you think I'm not a good person?
I never said you weren't a good person. Again, comprehension issues...
Let me ask you. You said that you felt you were "mostly" a good person. Would it matter to you if I thought you weren't? And if your answer is no, does that make you a narcissist?
I can answer that for you. It's no.
And I never said I was happy. You jump to conclusions rather quickly. And you're eager to be judgmental. Maybe this is one of those areas where you aren't a good person? I'm sure you feel very guilty.
Quote:
Failures, for instance, induce guilt. The narcissist always labels someone else's efforts as "failures" and then proceeds to shift the responsibility for said failures to his victim so as to maximise the opportunity to chastise and castigate her.
On to your second, as I stated before, I have been able to be quite helpful to others. Being that I spent a very large portion of my adult life as a liar, and a cheater, and as far as relationships goes - a jerk, I've been very good at spotting them. I noticed many threads on this forum with the title "Is he cheating?" or similar, with people offering varying advice. Who better to spot a jerk than another jerk? I really do believe in happiness and true love, especially for others. This is something that people struggle with. I have helped many a friend battle through difficult times in their relationships. Ive been a mediator to more than a few. True, Ive done despicable things, but I have used this knowledge and experience to help who I can. I've also learned quite a bit about women in the process, and are always consulting with my guy friends during times of confusion.
It is only in this context that I offer advice. I didn't mean it to be that I'm an expert in what constitutes a perfect relationship. But I do have a lot to offer when people ask for it.
The only person I have not been able to objectively give advice to is myself. I am no good at that. This is why I've sought outside help.
I'm sure you mean, "When I want to." Which will be never. Because 1) You get to have the "best" of both worlds when you cheat, and
2) You think you're REALLY really good at the deception part of cheating, which thrills you and buoys you and keeps you from fully feeling the scumminess of what you're really doing. I know. I've done it myself.
You're really just good at boxing off parts of your life into little compartments. You could stop this at any moment, but you won't because you enjoy it.
Look, don't come here and try to taunt the other posters into tit-for-tat games. Your post would have been fine had you not offered advice.
You've done what your therapist supposedly advised, and now you should focus on the extreme narcissism that motivates you. It will ruin you in the end, or at least deaden you to a fulfilled life.
"when it is time" refers to making certain decisions when we figure out what those are to be (again, I am working with a marriage counselor). That doesn't refer simply to the act of infidelity. That is an easy call to make. Not cheating on my wife is not going to solve my problem. It will solve a part of the problem. Sorry for being cryptic, but there are other elements.
I never said you weren't a good person. Again, comprehension issues...
Again with the condescension issues...
It would be easier if you just spoke more clearly - then I wouldn't have to reread your posts.
So - out of curiosity - did your therapist also tell you to start giving sexual advice to other people on the internet and talk about your indiscretions as a way to give credence to your advice?
"when it is time" refers to making certain decisions when we figure out what those are to be (again, I am working with a marriage counselor). That doesn't refer simply to the act of infidelity. That is an easy call to make. Not cheating on my wife is not going to solve my problem. It will solve a part of the problem. Sorry for being cryptic, but there are other elements.
Thank you though...
Imagine a world where you could be TOTALLY honest and NOT be cryptic.
Well you said I was unable to be faithful. By definition that means I "can't". You are still incorrect.
The narcissism is noted, and it is something I am working on. Thank you.
Yet I also very clearly stated that the TL/dr version of your opening post is "I cheat because I feel like it."
Once again your narcissism rears it's boring head, because I am not shocked and am not engaging you about your mundane lifestyle, you have become a pedant in a sad, desperate attempt at turning the spotlight of righteousness back on yourself.
Imagine a world where you could be TOTALLY honest and NOT be cryptic.
The cryptic nature is not a matter of honesty. It is a matter of detail that is related to the topic but not relevant. But if you would like, I can expand. I am seeing a marriage counselor to explore the nature of my relationship with my wife, and what is best for her, for myself, and for us both as a couple. Not every relationship is a healthy one, and not every two people should stay together. My goal is to change my behavior, in the hopes that my feelings for my wife can become appropriate so that my family can stay intact. If the behavior changes but the feelings do not, I have been warned that it might be in everyones best interest (especially hers) to change the dynamic of our relationship so that she is free to find someone who lovers her in the way a husband should.
This is what I mean by "taking certain actions" ... "when the time comes".
I hope it doesn't come to that.
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