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I wouldn't mind dating such a man. I'm probably in the minority, but I admire people who are willing to go against trends for what they value. It shows me they are confident/secure with themselves and don't need other people to define who they should be or what they should be expected to do.
And see..I would NOT date a man like that FOR THE EXACT SAME REASONS. I am confident and secure about what I want from a relationship. I don't care who doesnt like my opinion. I am not a *****, nor do I sleep around. Trust me, as a woman its easy to get sex. I spend LOTS of time not getting it when im single because I prefer to be in a relationship. However, I just dont believe in the whole' no sex before marriage thing' because of some of the things I talked about in a prior post.
I dont believe in running around humping everything that moves. But, if you are in a committed relationship and you are starting to think long term, I disagree that people should NOT have sex just because of some religious.... You know what..I wont go there. However, Im tired of people thinking like they are 'above' others also because they arent having sex.
Not calling out any specific person here..just saying. But yeah get off that holier than thou pedestal real quick. Those types are the worst ones when you go picking through their closets. Lots of other skeletons may fall out.
If you feel no sex before marriage is the best choice for you..then do it. If others dont wish to do it..then they shouldnt.
It is irrational to wait until marriage to have sex. I see no benefits in doing so, and obvious downsides. Sexual compatibility is very important (like top 3 or top 5) to the vast majority of adults almost everywhere around the world. It is better to determine sexual compatibility (via partaking in the act as well as communication) fairly early on in a relationship, because it is easier to terminate the relationship, get over it, and move on if it doesn't work out. The OP probably should rethink his strange stance, as it is self-defeating.
My ex-boyfriend wanted to wait until marriage, for religious reasons. He was not a virgin, he had become a Christian a few yrs prior to us meeting. We did do it a couple of times, but bascially we were sexless.
I would never do this again. I find it weird that some people think we should take our time and get to know every inch about the person we are going to marry before we actually get married. Likes, dislikes, political views, views on raising children, what TV shows they like, what makes them laugh, cry, how their financial situation is etc..etc. But these same people think we should know NOTHING about a person sexually. Yet sex plays a HUGE factor in a marriage!!
I believe in taking your time before you have sex. Absolutely. But, i EVENTUALLY want to be with that person, and I will NOT marry someone that I have not been with. I feel I need to know if we are compatible that way, like every other way. My ex said it was for religious reasons, but a part of me wondered if he actually had sexual hangups. He once told me that he did not like to put his finger inside of a woman because " he didnt know where she had been". Uhh...what red blooded MAN says he feels its dirty to put his finger inside of a woman? Im surprised we actually had sex. Plus there were certain other things he didnt like to do. See..that stuff makes me nervous..espescially when you mix religion in there because sorry..but some of these religious freaks are screwed in the head.
Also, we could hardly ever cuddle or kiss too much because ' that could lead to sex'. So, bascially we were like brother and sister. Yeahhhhh..dont think so. Never again. I need to know what im getting myself into sexually before I ever get married. AND this guy had asked me to marry him. I said yes at first, then no. Whew! Whole lot of other issues there besides the sex thing. Ugh
Wow. It sounds like you dodged a HUGE bullet. This is EXACTLY why people shouldn't wait until marriage.
"...a part of me wondered if he actually had sexual hangups." Ummm...ya think? I'd say that's a pretty big hangup. NO GRACIAS.
I found this question very interesting. Most of the time it is perceived that men push for sex early in the relationship, yet on this board most women were saying they absolutely would not marry a man without having sex with him.
So this is my theory: Women need to have more needs met during sex to actually enjoy it. I know that although I'm relatively inexperienced (6 partners), I've never had bad sex. Each sexual partner would have been fine to spend the rest of my life with basing it just on the sex. Now some were definitely better than others, but not enough to override things like personality, looks, or sense of humor. For women though they need the man to be compatible with them or they run the risk of a completely unsatisfying sex life.
And see..I would NOT date a man like that FOR THE EXACT SAME REASONS. I am confident and secure about what I want from a relationship. I don't care who doesnt like my opinion. I am not a *****, nor do I sleep around. Trust me, as a woman its easy to get sex. I spend LOTS of time not getting it when im single because I prefer to be in a relationship. However, I just dont believe in the whole' no sex before marriage thing' because of some of the things I talked about in a prior post.
I dont believe in running around humping everything that moves. But, if you are in a committed relationship and you are starting to think long term, I disagree that people should NOT have sex just because of some religious.... You know what..I wont go there. However, Im tired of people thinking like they are 'above' others also because they arent having sex.
Not calling out any specific person here..just saying. But yeah get off that holier than thou pedestal real quick. Those types are the worst ones when you go picking through their closets. Lots of other skeletons may fall out.
If you feel no sex before marriage is the best choice for you..then do it. If others dont wish to do it..then they shouldnt.
Yes... but it can also go the other way as well. Probably not with the "holier than thou attitude" but more of name calling or "making fun of you attitude" which isn't any better.
I found this question very interesting. Most of the time it is perceived that men push for sex early in the relationship, yet on this board most women were saying they absolutely would not marry a man without having sex with him.
So this is my theory: Women need to have more needs met during sex to actually enjoy it. I know that although I'm relatively inexperienced (6 partners), I've never had bad sex. Each sexual partner would have been fine to spend the rest of my life with basing it just on the sex. Now some were definitely better than others, but not enough to override things like personality, looks, or sense of humor. For women though they need the man to be compatible with them or they run the risk of a completely unsatisfying sex life.
Well..dont read TOO much into it. For me, I need to make sure the man is going to be someone that I can at least have a pleasurable sex life with, and he does not have some weird hangups or something that is going to scare me silly. He doesnt have to be a porn star in bed. Just like i place importance on his personality, thoughts, opinions, etc, I give equal importance to our sex life. One of the best feelings in the world for me as a woman is to make love to a man that I truly, deeply love. I know how to show a man that side of me, and all i wish is for the guy to be able to do the same. Is he a thoughtful, caring lover? Or a selfish all about me kinda man? Is he totally clueless about what makes a woman feel good?
Again..he doesnt have to be a porn star. We just need to 'click' sexually, the way we 'click' in other aspects of our lives. That doesnt always happen with everyone.
For me, I wouldnt say sexual compatibility has more of an importance than other things, its just has equal importance.
I admit that I was surprised at how many people had the response of absolutely not. I have been with my wife for 15 years now. We both have mentioned several times that we both wish we did not have any previous partners. That knowledge alone would make it not such a definitive stance.
You seem to have a condescending and bitter tone going there, am I wrong?
Because I don't think virginity until marriage is seen as a joke but as a really bad idea for the majority of people. Like it or not, sex is a really important part of most marriages and not finding out if you're sexually compatible before marriage is like not finding out if you both want kids or if you have similar senses of humor or if your partner shares your religious/political beliefs (whatever is important to you). How can you expect to live long and happy lives together if you completely disregard this important part?
To be honest, you sound like you've never had sex.
That's funny it's been made out to be a joke far as I've ever seen it, not just a 'really bad idea.' I didn't say it wasn't an important part of life but the way some of these people talk it's like seriously what if they did find out the person wasn't compatible or knowledgeable enough sexually -- they're going to dump the person? LOL. Which is why I don't buy it when people say 'well relationship isn't all about sex...." Well apparently it is & that what it boils down to! Also, it seems to never have occurred to some folks that you could actually talk (you know, verbally) to a person to figure out what it is that they like or don't like. Or explore things other then actual sexual intercourse to figure out if a person is compatible or not. No you weren't wrong it was a bit condescending b/c it's pretty damn frustrating when so many people use a person's sex life as a measure for overall compatibility. It seems like such a stupid factor to hinge the whole relationship on.... But whatever, it doesn't matter what I think about much of anything.
....and that last bit isn't breaking news on here.
PS..Im sure the men already know this. But...we are all talking about sexual compatibility here, i suppose in the PHYSICAL sense. But..what can REALLY enhance the sexual experience for a woman is how she is treated OUTSIDE of the bedroom too. There are men that..just by the way they carry themselves, and how they treat a woman..can just make a woman want to do ANYTHING they ask. And I dont mean a Don Juan.
Women are all about their emotional well being too. How you make her feel emotionally. Just throwing her on the bed rambo style might be exciting once in a while, but she needs her 'emotions' stroked once in a while too..not just her body.
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LOL. Which is why I don't buy it when people say 'well relationship isn't all about sex...." Well apparently it is & that what it boils down to! Also, it seems to never have occurred to some folks that you could actually talk (you know, verbally) to a person to figure out what it is that they like or don't like. Or explore things other then actual sexual intercourse to figure out if a person is compatible or not. No you weren't wrong it was a bit condescending b/c it's pretty damn frustrating when so many people use a person's sex life as a measure for overall compatibility. It seems like such a stupid factor to hinge the whole relationship on.... But whatever, it doesn't matter what I think about much of anything. 
But...we are all talking about sexual compatibility here, i suppose in the PHYSICAL sense. But..what can REALLY enhance the sexual experience for a woman is how she is treated OUTSIDE of the bedroom too. There are men that..just by the way they carry themselves, and how they treat a woman..can just make a woman want to do ANYTHING they ask. And I dont mean a Don Juan.
