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I assume everyone is talking about young, first marriages here...
There is a huge percentage of people who will marry more than once or late in life etc and it's difficult to lump the whole "wait for marriage" thing together.
Like I said, I'm here for a discussion, not to change anyone's mind or propose a law forcing people to have sex before marriage. Of course other people's sex lives aren't up to you or me, of course it's their choice, I don't know why you keep saying such obvious things.
Okay, so it's not that you give a hoot about whether people have sex after shaking hands with a person for the first time or after years of a solid relationship, you just don't think people should make any life decisions based on sex.
But why? I know you're a virgin but does that mean you never want sex to play an important role in your life? And why do you think sex is so insignificant that it shouldn't make or break a relationship? Most people find it to be a very important way to bond with their partner and feel closer physically and emotionally.
You're not trying to 'change anyone's mind?' Certainly seems like you are...Sex is not going to play an important role in my life because at this rate I'm never going to have it....You're not coming across as having a discussion you're coming across as wanting to have a debate. This appears to be the reason why you keep insisting on telling me sex is of the utmost importance before marriage, even though I got your POV on the matter the first time around. I'm not into debating that is why I keep saying "such obvious things." I don't feel like beating a dead horse: majority of people want to have sex well before marriage or w/e. Sex is significant enough to make or break a relationship. Sex is a way for people to bond and whatever else. OK. Got it.
Like I said, I'm here for a discussion, not to change anyone's mind or propose a law forcing people to have sex before marriage. Of course other people's sex lives aren't up to you or me, of course it's their choice, I don't know why you keep saying such obvious things.
Okay, so it's not that you give a hoot about whether people have sex after shaking hands with a person for the first time or after years of a solid relationship, you just don't think people should make any life decisions based on sex.
But why? I know you're a virgin but does that mean you never want sex to play an important role in your life? And why do you think sex is so insignificant that it shouldn't make or break a relationship? Most people find it to be a very important way to bond with their partner and feel closer physically and emotionally.
I can't imagine loving someone and then having sex with them and not being satisfied. Sex is not a sport, it's an expression of love and intimacy. If you care for them and love them, the sex will be great. It may not be great the first time, but if you have deep feelings for the person, it will become great.
My wife was a virgin when we got married. I was 23, she was 29. I had no problems with it at all, nor did I give her a hard time about it (no pun intended). To each his own. We did mess around while we were dating/engaged, but that was it. We were together 4 years before we got married as well.
Like I said, I'm here for a discussion, not to change anyone's mind or propose a law forcing people to have sex before marriage. Of course other people's sex lives aren't up to you or me, of course it's their choice, I don't know why you keep saying such obvious things.
Okay, so it's not that you give a hoot about whether people have sex after shaking hands with a person for the first time or after years of a solid relationship, you just don't think people should make any life decisions based on sex.
But why? I know you're a virgin but does that mean you never want sex to play an important role in your life? And why do you think sex is so insignificant that it shouldn't make or break a relationship? Most people find it to be a very important way to bond with their partner and feel closer physically and emotionally.
These kind of questions are more specific rather than "why don't you want to have sex before marriage?" which is broad and hard to answer. As for me, it is because of religious reason. I see sex as a gift and beautiful, not disgusting or bad. It is one way to bond with your partner, but it is not the best way to judge my relationship. Being sexual compatible is part of a relationship but to make it as some kind of root of how healthy or compatible we are doesn't make sense to me.
When I avoid sex in a relationship, I know I am dodging a lot of bullets. To you, maybe not. To me, yes. Like you said you feel closer physically and emotionally to that person, and I do want to feel closer to my spouse in marriage. For now I would rather avoid it completely and live a risk-free life until marriage. I understand that marriage doesn't always make things go away. I don't understand how you can give a part of yourself (not talking just physically but wholesome) to someone when you both may walk the opposite direction in the end yet only to repeat this cycle 2-3 times? Is it because I'm not mature enough? Responsible enough?
For me, I want to learn and live, not live and learn. I'm not asking for a perfect life where everything will fall in its place or my relationship will be great, but I know what works for me and what doesn't.
I think it's great that you want to wait until marriage for sex. Shows you respect the intimacy of this act and believe it's not to be shared with everyone. I am surprised that you feel this way for reasons other than religion.
While your intent may be honorable I have to ask....
Have you had issues regarding intimacy problems - molested, negative association of sex and relationships, performance nervousness, or have not encountered someone special enough to be intimate with? Are you attracted to other people?
Just asking
If you don't care what (I or) others think, then you don't need to argue a long-winded point to me. Most people already agree with you.
Look..this is a forum. I posted a response to your post. If you dont want to see responses to your posts, then dont post.
And trust me..you havent SEEN long winded. So, perhaps you can crawl out of bed on the right side tomorrow instead of the wrong side, eh? Great!
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. Of course other people's sex lives aren't up to you or me, of course it's their choice, I don't know why you keep saying such obvious things.
