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Interesting... But was he a physical, sexual person (although still a virgin) before you got married and then he changed? Does that make sense? Can't one gauge sexuality by things other than the act - e.g. talking, kissing, heavy petting, other forms of activity/intimacy?
Can't one figure out sexual drive without "going all the way" (LOL, haven't said that in awhile). Another poster mentioned a lot of red flags from a guy before they attempted sex (e.g. thought touching her was dirty, was religious extreme). Those would be deal breakers for me before I married a guy as I would assume it would negatively affect his sexuality.
I also have not had the experience that certain penises "don't fit right" as another poster brought up. To me, it is more about intimacy, movement, and how you work it.
I do think a woman is taking more of a risk if marrying a virgin and should assess if the risk/reward is worth it and what the contingency plan would be.
I agree 100% with all of this. Which I can't believe I'm saying given your user name and me being an avid Cardinals fan.
You mean being right about their 2 world series titles in the last 6 years? Oh wait that was the Cardinals not the Cubs.
Ouch... Ok, you may have that, but c'mon Wrigley Field is the most beautiful ball park in the entire world. It is about the experience. Busch Stadium? Not even close. This could be the year we break the curse though... I always have faith.
Usually someone that states they are waiting until marriage has never had sex before. Oftentimes they've probably never been in a serious long-term relationship before. I'm not saying that you should count on them changing their mind. Just think that you may be missing out on some potentially great mates by having such a rigid stance on this matter.
First off the guy does probably want sex. He might just realize that sex can often cloud good judgment. My first girlfriend told me later on after we broke up that she was waiting until marriage to have sex because sex just makes everything complicated.
I think sex can affect people like drugs do. People are so focused on their own pleasure and feeling good at the moment that they overlook the much more important facets of a relationship.
I don't think it's much of a coincidence that as our attitudes regarding casual sex have become more liberal, our divorce rates have gone up. People stay in relationships because sex feels good. People mistake the good feeling of having sex with love.
I have neither the time nor the interest to play silly games.
I can only go on what people say, I'm not their therapist nor am I their confessor. I'm not going to second guess anyone.
You tell me you want to wait until marriage, I say good-bye.
I want a man, not a boy.
Garbage as far as the attitudes about sex causing divorce.
Divorce rates have gone up because people are allowed to get divorced.
Look at the abusive relationships women put up with because they couldn't be in the workplace, own vehicles, credit cards or homes in their own names.
They had no where to go in those days.
You may not remember those days, but I do. They weren't pretty.
Women didn't have choices then. They do now.
Including whether or not they want to have sex before marriage.
I can't imagine loving someone and then having sex with them and not being satisfied. Sex is not a sport, it's an expression of love and intimacy. If you care for them and love them, the sex will be great. It may not be great the first time, but if you have deep feelings for the person, it will become great.
Ever have a truly bad lover?
They do exist and some are not worth training or waiting around for.
No, sex does not always become great the longer you know someone.
Sex can be many things, it can be sport, it can be an expression of love and intimacy.
Sometimes a quickie on the kitchen table before work is just sex on the kitchen table before work.
If I might be so bold, are you in your very early 20s?
Ever have a truly bad lover?
They do exist and some are not worth training or waiting around for.
No, sex does not always become great the longer you know someone.
Sex can be many things, it can be sport, it can be an expression of love and intimacy.
Sometimes a quickie on the kitchen table before work is just sex on the kitchen table before work.
If I might be so bold, are you in your very early 20s?
Maybe it's a man/woman thing, because I think for some guys, especially young ones, if there's another person involved and he got off = good sex. For women it may be more complicated than that.
Maybe it's a man/woman thing, because I think for some guys, especially young ones, if there's another person involved and he got off = good sex. For women it may be more complicated than that.
I hear that!
Men and women are completely different in the sex department.
I've been with a few selfish men in my life and I would certainly not find myself in that situation permanently (or semi-permanently).
I must say that in college I did deflower a virgin and he was great fun.
I have neither the time nor the interest to play silly games.
I can only go on what people say, I'm not their therapist nor am I their confessor. I'm not going to second guess anyone.
You tell me you want to wait until marriage, I say good-bye.
I want a man, not a boy.
Garbage as far as the attitudes about sex causing divorce.
Divorce rates have gone up because people are allowed to get divorced.
Look at the abusive relationships women put up with because they couldn't be in the workplace, own vehicles, credit cards or homes in their own names.
They had no where to go in those days.
You may not remember those days, but I do. They weren't pretty.
Women didn't have choices then. They do now.
Including whether or not they want to have sex before marriage.
I never said they were better. I was just simply stating that people get in relationships and often have sex right away before they really get to know the person. Then the good feelings they get from the sex can cloud their judgment towards whether the person is compatible or not. I never said that's the ONLY reason divorce rates have gone up. But you have no more evidence that it has had no factor.
Ever have a truly bad lover?
They do exist and some are not worth training or waiting around for.
No, sex does not always become great the longer you know someone.
Sex can be many things, it can be sport, it can be an expression of love and intimacy.
Sometimes a quickie on the kitchen table before work is just sex on the kitchen table before work.
If I might be so bold, are you in your very early 20s?
Nope early 40's. And I've have some better than others, but none that I would classify as downright bad. I think I was probably downright bad to begin with because I had no idea what I was doing. But I wanted to please my mates and so I asked and did what they said felt good. It's not like you need to have a genius IQ, or be a world class athlete.
I imagine if you had a lover that you felt "wasn't worth the training" you weren't that into his personality, character, or other parts of him either.
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