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If you think about it the old photo albums we have are all smiles too.
You don't snap a picture of the tears, and struggles.
I do know one person that will tell me about a terrible experience and
then twist it around in a FB post as magical. She seems to need everyone she is FB friends with
to think her life is perfect.
I think it is safe to assume that everyone has struggles of one kind or another, they just don't
put that type thing on Facebook. Most just want to keep that stuff private, and others
need to present a fake picture to the world.
Being mischievous, when tired of all the fakeness, I like to roil the waters, sometimes, and do my best to wipe a few smiles off my Facebook friends, or challenge them. And, then, hoping they'll put me on Do Not Follow or erase me from their Friend's List.
You do know that you can use the "do not follow" and "unfriend" options also ??
If you need to "wipe their smiles off" I wonder why you want them as FB friends?
I've noticed the exact opposite when it comes to public lovey-dovey 'affection' between couples on FB. The extreme displays are generally a precursor to ultimate split-up. I've seen this with 3 couples.
I've noticed the exact opposite when it comes to public lovey-dovey 'affection' between couples on FB. The extreme displays are generally a precursor to ultimate split-up. I've seen this with 3 couples.
Yup---like those who have to sit on top of each other driving, with no concern for seatbelts. If it's a real/mature love, you can be separated by a few inches and still enjoy each other.
I do think people enjoy some of the things they post, whether it's a new baby or a pet or a meal or vacation. And they enjoy (probably even more) the actual posting and collecting "likes." But it's a fleeting enjoyment---a flash of happiness rather than true contentment. (I go more for the quiet, stable, low key contentment and equanimity, but I'm not sure that works for or even interests most people.) So the happiness fades quickly and they have to do and post something else to get that high again.
The saddest thing to me is watching people smile for the camera. I'm not a real smiley person, but it turns out most people aren't either. Once I saw a video of a friend who was on a boat. She would say she was having a great time, but she wasn't smiling. The person doing the video said "Smile" and she did---a gigantic smile. It made her appear very happy. But as the camera started to move away, so did her smile...
Thoreau said most folks live lives of quiet desperation. I would be surprised if people were really as happy as they appear to be in photos. Statistics showing divorce, illness, suicide, drug abuse, etc, would make it appear otherwise.
Steeped in Eastern Philosophy, I know all too well, that you can't love someone without simultaneously hating that person, as dependency on another person breeds hatred.
why would you post pictures of your family looking miserable?
Photo albums have always been a record of false happiness.
Is it "false happiness" or is it just a snapshot of the good parts and the hard parts are
private & not shared.
If I think of the hardest times of my life, I can also remember some good parts
during that time. Those good parts would be what I would photograph because they are what
I want to remember & share. The hard things are private.
People look better...more attractive, when they smile. People respond more positively to a smile than a frown. Heck...if you're going to pose for the camera and posterity, might as well put your best face on.
When my kids and grandkids and possible future generations look back at my pictures, I'd much rather they say "She was an attractive person with a nice smile" than "People always used to say she was a nice sweet person, but you could never tell by her resting ***** face." LOL
new parents, of course they are happy, come on. Nothing compares with having a beautiful baby.
For the rest, who cares? Those who post too much annoy me so I select not to follow.
I unfollow annoying people, or unfriend them. If someone is forever posting rants and serious junk that is meant to rile people up, I'm probably going to unfriend them. If they constantly post motivational sappy meaningless junk that gets old too, and I might unfollow them. Had a lady who posted Christian stuff so much I unfriended her. We weren't very close anyways, and that just isn't my thing.
I'm a happy person. Even when life sucks, I'm optimistic and grateful. It is what I believe in. I make the most of whatever is good in my life, because even if things are difficult, there's something that is good. I pour my energy into appreciating that, rather than ruminating on my sorrows and stresses, as much as possible.
But for me, Facebook is mostly for cracking jokes. I call it "Facebook Funnies." The only times I post happy-smiley pics is when I am capturing memories that I want to store there, as well as sharing them on an ongoing basis with other friends who were probably present, and in some of the photos. If I post pictures of my kids, it's mostly because their Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles are on my friend list too. If some of my unrelated friends get grouchy about it, that's just tough. The world doesn't revolve around them. Not every post was aimed straight at their eyeballs, just because they happened to wind up seeing it. And if they don't like that I post happy things, they can certainly unfollow or unfriend me, there's a good chance I won't even notice.
People with little kids? Well, I'm not a fan of other people's kids, but I remember how it felt when mine were little. I took a lot of joy in them. I just scroll by. I feel the same when many of my friends share pics of their dogs. I'm not a big dog person, really. I won't get an attitude about it, but I'm not going to pause and exclaim over how precious somebody's chiweenie or corgipoo is looking in its little sweater. I really don't care.
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