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A&E aired an interesting documentary called the Killing Season which started out following the investigation of the Long Island Serial Killer, and ended up uncovering evidence that there are several serial killers around the country who specifically target sex workers, especially sex workers who are isolated, vulnerable, often addicted, because these are women that people don't miss. They're putting themselves at such risk every time they go off with a man.
I once read that at any given time, there are about 100 serial killers operating in the U.S. Many go unnoticed because their victims are prostitutes or the homeless or runaways, people whose disappearances are not investigated thoroughly and not connected with similar disappearances. They are easy targets.
I am observant and careful but not afraid. I use common sense. I don't feel like a victim. I was attacked in a supermarket parking lot one night and I learned for sure I was capable of protecting myself. Until then, I really didn't KNOW.
Fleetiebelle - aware is exactly how you should be. There is a big difference between being paranoid and being aware. As a petite woman I am on alert when I must be out at night. Even in one of our "good" neighborhoods, a woman using a walker was mugged recently. I avoid this one mall in our town at night because it has become sketchy. If I'm going out at night I am careful walking to and from vehicle. My keys are in my hand and I'm not talking on my cell phone or distracted. I make sure I look like I can take care of myself despite being 5'1" tall. I have taken a few self defense classes and intend to take some more when they start them at my gym.
I see young girls with ear buds jogging or running and they are immersed in whatever it is they are listening to. They have no idea if a car is veering off the road ready to hit them or someone is coming up behind them with bad intentions. Too many women make themselves great targets for men who have less than honorable ideas. It's not victim blaming, before some of you get off track with that. Most women, notice I said most, not all, are smaller and weaker than a lot of men. We must be aware of our surroundings.
Maybe I've watched too many episodes of Criminal Minds but I believe in being vigilant and not putting myself in situations that make me uncomfortable. Read "The Gift of Fear"; it's an excellent book.
What you said in the 2nd paragraph is exactly what played out last year in the Howard Beach area of Queens. A young woman, jogging alone in her own neighborhood, went into an isolated marshy park area she'd run through before, and someone got her. She must have felt safe, and she is dead. A suspect has been arrested months later.
I'm not trying to accuse them of lying, but it just puzzles me that I can't relate to this at all. I live in Chicago, one of the most dangerous cities in the U.S., and I never feel afraid to walk alone at night by myself... I've ridden the train late at night on my own and never felt threatened. Sure, I've been hit on by men when I'm by myself, but I've never felt like they were going to attack and rape me. There are bad people out there, but I feel like most people are basically good and not out to hurt others.
Do any other women feel the way I do or do I see the world through rose-colored glasses? Do you think many women are overly paranoid about these sorts of things? Please share your thoughts..
I think you must live in a very nice area of Chicago? Doesn't sound like you live in one of the "Chi-raq" neighbourhoods where drive-by's are happening, so maybe your mileage may vary depending upon your stomping grounds and the routes you take?
Ottawa has a really low crime rate, but there are still a couple of streets and shortcuts around here that I'd avoid at night.
I once read that at any given time, there are about 100 serial killers operating in the U.S. Many go unnoticed because their victims are prostitutes or the homeless or runaways, people whose disappearances are not investigated thoroughly and not connected with similar disappearances. They are easy targets.
Was reading an interesting article recently, about a retired U.S. journalist who spends time crunching numbers on unsolved murders. He's concluded that yes, there are more serial killers on the loose in the U.S. than we'd even guess. Due to the scarce resources in many police departments, different jurisdictions, etc., some of the dots aren't connected, it would seem, or at least not fast enough to solve the cases quickly. We live in a surreal world.
In my youth I would regularly walk pretty much anywhere and everywhere alone day or night. I didn't always listen to my gut and sometimes put myself into dangerous situations because I would rationalize that most people are good. When I look back I see at least a few times where I think I got lucky. Not all of them involved walking alone at night but all involved being in situations where I was isolated with men. I am much more cautious now then I used to be. While it is true that most men are good, some are predators and it's not worth the risk for me to put myself in potentially dangerous situations. I don't live in fear but I am cautious, hyper aware in certain situations and I listen to my instincts. I'm thankful that I've never been a victim but I know many women who were not so lucky.
I think you must live in a very nice area of Chicago? Doesn't sound like you live in one of the "Chi-raq" neighbourhoods where drive-by's are happening, so maybe your mileage may vary depending upon your stomping grounds and the routes you take?
Ottawa has a really low crime rate, but there are still a couple of streets and shortcuts around here that I'd avoid at night.
I live right across from the lake in Uptown, and it's a pretty quiet neighborhood..but there are some parts that are sketchy...I'm not afraid to walk there during the day though...you'll basically just deal with homeless people asking for money... but I do mostly just stick to downtown and other nice neighborhoods in the city..
I came across this article on my Facebook page today... https://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguilla...kQe#.mvQ0dBglW
It basically lists a bunch of things women have to worry about every day, like walking alone at night, being constantly harassed by men and even carrying keys in their hand as weapons. I read the comments section and many women revealed how much they relate and how they are so frightened to walk alone at night or be on public transportation by themselves.
I'm not trying to accuse them of lying, but it just puzzles me that I can't relate to this at all. I live in Chicago, one of the most dangerous cities in the U.S., and I never feel afraid to walk alone at night by myself... I've ridden the train late at night on my own and never felt threatened. Sure, I've been hit on by men when I'm by myself, but I've never felt like they were going to attack and rape me. There are bad people out there, but I feel like most people are basically good and not out to hurt others.
Do any other women feel the way I do or do I see the world through rose-colored glasses? Do you think many women are overly paranoid about these sorts of things? Please share your thoughts..
I was completely oblivious when I was younger but I don't know if that means age is a factor for all women though.
I paid for it too; managed to attract a stalker when I was 19. It took law enforcement quite a while to catch him & when they did, the FBI got involved because of his "profile status". They told me he was "a Bundy".
The very first time he approached me was in a locked laundry room at an apartment complex where I lived. I had been up late doing laundry & the laundry room was in a different building from mine so I had been walking back & forth, alone in the dark all night.
Believe it or not, when he came to the door but didn't have a key ... I let him in. Because he looked so familiar to me & I thought it was because he lived there. I smiled at him through the window ... & let him in!
Turns out he lived on an Army base about 10 miles away. The reason he looked so familiar is because he had taken the time to follow me & show up everywhere I had been for months. He had been literally everywhere; my school, the grocery stores I went to, the gym where I worked out ...
I had walked past him everywhere, smiled & maybe nodded "hi" to him so in my mind, he was harmless because he wasn't a "stranger".
Except that by intent; he wasn't a stranger because he was so dangerous; if that even makes sense.
Believe me, that situation would have been alot easier to prevent than it was to have to contend with a sexually violent predator, if only I had paid more attention to what was going on around me. I should have been thinking "hey there is that guy again" instead of just "Oh, hi!"
I'm also more realistic, I think about my physical limitations. I used to think "I'll kick em where it counts if any guy tries to get me!" I am tall & was very athletic & had a false sense of security from that. The reality is that most males by the age of 14 are going to be more physically dominant than I so I do things a little differently.
I don't think I let it mitigate my life, though; I have a right to do what I want where & when I want but I'm not oblivious anymore. I pay attention to who & what is around me. I park in optimal places, hold my purse in a secure way, etc ...And I still smile & say "hi" but now I pay attention to who I am addressing!
The only place I feel safe, walking around at night is Las Vegas. Guess, it's because so many people are out on the strip and downtown. I never felt afraid when I visited that great place. Crazy, but true!
I was born and raised in Las Vegas and that is exactly where I was raped and beaten. It was in a busy parking structure on a Friday night. Major strip hotel/casino. People and cars were milling around. After subduing me he just drug me into a dark corner and did his thing... after warning me to keep quiet or he'd kill me.
Not trying to rain on your parade, but you could be me. I'd been there a zillion times picking up a friend from work. I never felt unsafe. There were people and video cameras and I was parked less than 20 feet from the elevator. I was maybe 2 feet from my car when he grabbed me. Don't take your safety for granted, dont be me.
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