Do that many women really feel afraid to walk by themselves at night? (anxiety, mentally)
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First, op asks about women being wary or afraid in certain situations. Now you're talking about women restricting activity due to that fear. Very, very different.
I travel alone, walk alone, and am pretty independent in daily life. That doesn't mean I feel comfortable walking through a dark parking garage at night, alone.
A lot of women I know make comments to be about wow are you not scared to go there, come home or do that alone. The actually don't go certain places because they are scared to go home alone or some somewhere alone because there is a possibility of some bad mad going to try and harm them. Not very likely in my city.... yet these women continue to live like children always wanting someone to take them by the hand and go somewhere. It seems totally crippling. My independence is so important to my quality of like that anyone who dears mess with that better be willing to get broken in to pieces.
No one has a right to harm or harass a person regardless of the time of day, location, if they are by themselves or what they are wearing.
I know my wife told me she is afraid sometimes. I unfortunately can't relate to that type of fear because Im not 5'4" woman. I'm 6'02" and about 260.
It saddens me that my wife and other women have to be afraid of walking to their car or market etc and have to be on guard to the point where they need to have a weapon ready to defend themselves.
Quote:
Originally Posted by klmrocks
No one has a right to harm or harass a person regardless of the time of day, location, if they are by themselves or what they are wearing.
You're right. Nobody should harm or harass another person. But not everyone respects other people.
A lot of women I know make comments to be about wow are you not scared to go there, come home or do that alone. The actually don't go certain places because they are scared to go home alone or some somewhere alone because there is a possibility of some bad mad going to try and harm them. Not very likely in my city.... yet these women continue to live like children always wanting someone to take them by the hand and go somewhere. It seems totally crippling. My independence is so important to my quality of like that anyone who dears mess with that better be willing to get broken in to pieces.
No one has a right to harm or harass a person regardless of the time of day, location, if they are by themselves or what they are wearing.
Yeah.
Lots of people talk about lot of sh** till it happens to them or they've seen it happen to hundreds of people (as I have).
As a fighter and as someone who works in the ER and as someone who hangs out with cops and watches takedowns on a regular basis, I've seen that even if you know how to fight and can defend yourself, you're still probably going to get hurt in the process.
Yes, I should be able to walk down naked through every dark alley in every bad part of town. But common sense says this is a stupid idea.
No one says you have to take a man everywhere or restrict your activities or not be independent. You just have to be aware of the risks and keep your eyes open at all times.
I can relate to some of that list for sure. I don't think that women are paranoid for having these thoughts. Everyone's comfort level is different regarding personal safety. I also think it varies greatly depending on the area of the world or even within a country (like the U.S imo). I live in a very safe city and I still do not put myself in vulnerable situations because I consider it being reckless with my safety. I have to look out for myself and I don't have a gun and I don't know how to fight. I think that most people are basically good as well. It is much more complex than this but I will say that many women learn early on in life (possibly without realizing it) to de-escalate/placate and to avoid endangering themselves. This can look like a lot of the points in that list.
I used to live near Kings Cross in Sydney and I didn't have an issue walking around at night there BUT that was because there were usually so many people around. I don't have issues walking inplaces where there are a lot of people.
However, I would be reluctant to walk home from a train station in a quieter outer suburb at 1am in the morning. A lot of this probably has to do with the fact that 20-30 years ago, two young ladies were raped and murdered after getting off trains in outer suburbs - one while getting into her car at the train station, the other who was walking home from the station.
I think my thinking is that in a place with lots of people, no-one is really going to pay me much mind.
However, if I was the only woman walking home at 1am in the morning, I might be more likely to be "fair game" for men who were driving around looking for a woman to do something to.
There is safety in numbers.
I actually live in a very safe, reasonable-sized town (45,000) but I would still prefer to get a taxi home if there is no-one else around.
I know my wife told me she is afraid sometimes. I unfortunately can't relate to that type of fear because Im not 5'4" woman. I'm 6'02" and about 260.
It saddens me that my wife and other women have to be afraid of walking to their car or market etc and have to be on guard to the point where they need to have a weapon ready to defend themselves.
You're right. Nobody should harm or harass another person. But not everyone respects other people.
Your wife has been attacked walking to her car? Incidentally, why are some people afraid of heights, being in the water, of spiders, picking up snakes, and others aren't?
It's not a matter of "have to be" always as much as perception, imagination, and phobias. I have an aunt that is afraid if every spider. I think one of my brother's is like that too. I get startled by mice but I'm not overly afraid of them. Some people are.
In terms of American men, I have heard repeatedly by many of them that have vacationed in Rio de Janeiro that men can't wear gold chains and jewelry in public in Rio. They talk about the fear they must have, as in an outside force of male Brazilians just living and looking at them force them to have the fear of your wife and small women.
So, since your size protects you then you should have no problem walking on the beach in Brazil as a mob of young men approach you, wearing your gold chain. I only say that because gringos online have told me mobs of young men pummel and Rob gringos wearing jewelry like that. I have no idea if it is true. But if it is not true or rarely happens then why are grown American men as afraid as women?
Probably goes back to those that get scarred climbing up ladders. Or why a woman runs from a small spider but a guy next to her does not.
But getting beat up, shot, or stabbed or simply robbed but not physically harmed can be traumatic for some like getting raped of surviving a bad car accident.
I used to live near Kings Cross in Sydney and I didn't have an issue walking around at night there BUT that was because there were usually so many people around. I don't have issues walking inplaces where there are a lot of people.
However, I would be reluctant to walk home from a train station in a quieter outer suburb at 1am in the morning. A lot of this probably has to do with the fact that 20-30 years ago, two young ladies were raped and murdered after getting off trains in outer suburbs - one while getting into her car at the train station, the other who was walking home from the station.
I think my thinking is that in a place with lots of people, no-one is really going to pay me much mind.
However, if I was the only woman walking home at 1am in the morning, I might be more likely to be "fair game" for men who were driving around looking for a woman to do something to.
There is safety in numbers.
I actually live in a very safe, reasonable-sized town (45,000) but I would still prefer to get a taxi home if there is no-one else around.
There is safety in numbers. I think you are smart to stay on guard, but that is in part due to my own paranoia.
It might surprise some rural folks but a good number of urban raised black kids are frightened of the woods at night. I and my brother were petrified of them when as kids we visited out cousins living in the country.
Do you know why urban raised black kids are frightened of the woods at night?
Because of horror movies set in the woods and some victim being chased through them at night and killed.
So, do they have to be afraid, or is it more to do with imagination? They imagine predators, killers, danger?
So, I'm saying, the Vietnam combat vet from America that to this very day won't sit in a restaurant with his back to others (he must be facing everyone) will sit like that in your small Aussie town. But you and him have something in common. You both are in Australia afraid someone is going to attack you, even if they never do. He is male and you are female.
There is safety in numbers. I think you are smart to stay on guard, but that is in part due to my own paranoia.
It might surprise some rural folks but a good number of urban raised black kids are frightened of the woods at night. I and my brother were petrified of them when as kids we visited out cousins living in the country.
Do you know why urban raised black kids are frightened of the woods at night?
Because of horror movies set in the woods and some victim being chased through them at night and killed.
So, do they have to be afraid, or is it more to do with imagination? They imagine predators, killers, danger?
So, I'm saying, the Vietnam combat vet from America that to this very day won't sit in a restaurant with his back to others (he must be facing everyone) will sit like that in your small Aussie town. But you and him have something in common. You both are in Australia afraid someone is going to attack you, even if they never do. He is male and you are female.
Look, I'm not unnaturally unafraid. I know there is a good chance than 99% of the time I would be able to walk home without incident. However, I just like to be safe and get a taxi home. It is me being sensible. I'm 5'8" but not particularly strong and if I did come up against more than one person, I'm probably going to "lose out".
Btw I know that it isn't always at night that things happen. I was on a suburban train at the age of 12 in a very safe part of Sydney and started being surrounded by a group of older boys just as we came into a station - I jumped out at that station. Perhaps they were just admiring my top, however, I wasn't going to hang around long enough to find out.
Also, the other thing is judgment. If say I did walk home every night at 1am and one night, I did get attacked. Who do you think is going to get the blame. It should of course be the attacker getting the blame but unfortunately, it is just as likely that people would will say "Well she was walking home by herself at 1am, what did she think would have happened". No-one says that about mean walking home at 1am.
Last edited by susankate; 03-09-2017 at 10:44 PM..
A woman alone anywhere, day or night, can be considered as prey to certain types of men. How many young women have been murdered just for going jogging on their own?
As strong as we women are and are becoming more so every day, it's still a man's world when it comes to our safety.
Very true. The world still isn't safe for women.
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