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Your wife has been attacked walking to her car? Incidentally, why are some people afraid of heights, being in the water, of spiders, picking up snakes, and others aren't?
It's not a matter of "have to be" always as much as perception, imagination, and phobias. I have an aunt that is afraid if every spider. I think one of my brother's is like that too. I get startled by mice but I'm not overly afraid of them. Some people are.
In terms of American men, I have heard repeatedly by many of them that have vacationed in Rio de Janeiro that men can't wear gold chains and jewelry in public in Rio. They talk about the fear they must have, as in an outside force of male Brazilians just living and looking at them force them to have the fear of your wife and small women.
So, since your size protects you then you should have no problem walking on the beach in Brazil as a mob of young men approach you, wearing your gold chain. I only say that because gringos online have told me mobs of young men pummel and Rob gringos wearing jewelry like that. I have no idea if it is true. But if it is not true or rarely happens then why are grown American men as afraid as women?
Probably goes back to those that get scarred climbing up ladders. Or why a woman runs from a small spider but a guy next to her does not.
But getting beat up, shot, or stabbed or simply robbed but not physically harmed can be traumatic for some like getting raped of surviving a bad car accident.
Come on man be realistic. If a gang of people approaches me I guarantee you my radar is going to start pinging. I don't wear jewelry and I sure as hell don't plan on vacationing in some ****hole. So who really gives a F what some banger in Brazil is doing.
What I'm saying is that I'm not scared out of my mind to go places. I'm not immobilized by fear because another person approaches or is walking my way in a parking lot. I've worked in some scary places in my line of work. The thing is you have no idea who you're approaching or what level of violence that person is capable of
I'm not sure what to really make of your post as I don't get why you're bringing in a phobia. A woman walking somewhere and being afraid of being attacked especially sexually attacked is something most men will never understand. Unless you're a woman you can't possibly understand that fear.
Come on man be realistic. If a gang of people approaches me I guarantee you my radar is going to start pinging. I don't wear jewelry and I sure as hell don't plan on vacationing in some ****hole. So who really gives a F what some banger in Brazil is doing.
What I'm saying is that I'm not scared out of my mind to go places. I'm not immobilized by fear because another person approaches or is walking my way in a parking lot. I've worked in some scary places in my line of work. The thing is you have no idea who you're approaching or what level of violence that person is capable of
I'm not sure what to really make of your post as I don't get why you're bringing in a phobia. A woman walking somewhere and being afraid of being attacked especially sexually attacked is something most men will never understand. Unless you're a woman you can't possibly understand that fear.
Because I've been around a lot of drug addicted women that prostitute, and hustle on the street. They have none of this fear you all speak of an attribute as innate to women. These women are so scandalous and fearless in the worst neighborhoods in America, in dark, lonely blocks, frankly I have no idea how they do it. I feel I make no exaggeration when I say they have the courage of a dozen Navy SEALs.
And I'm pretty sure I have more fear than these women when walking through x neighborhood. Ergo, it must be a mind thing.
Okay, getting into cars with strange men. Eh, flagging them down or standing at night on a ghetto corner switching your hips trying to pull men driving cars, going into the backyard of abandoned houses, and crazier yet running off with some men's money.
None of this speaks of a woman "in fear" walking at night in a grocery store parking lot.
Even my own white mother is less paranoid than either myself or my black father who is a retired Federal agent. I can't believe she's pulled into a certain ghetto gas station at night and alone to pump gas. A spot that would worry me and I can defend myself hundred times better than her. A spot my father would avoid and he'll snap and fight hoodlums.
This line about men not having fear is about as much reality as men don't cry and women do. They are based on myths. I have more fear of shop lifting or stealing money from out a guy's coat pocket than many women do. And I mean many, not a few.
There are some mentally tough women on the streets. Some dangerous ones too that will lie and set you up. Scared, timid people they are not. And they chew nice guys up and spit them out.
So, if you are a woman in a pretty safe part of town, it is true bad things can happen anywhere. But you're probably overcome by fear mainly out of your own imaginations. Because these "ratchet" women on ghetto blocks aren't afraid as they flag down strange men in cars.
Because I've been around a lot of drug addicted women
that prostitute, and hustle on the street. They have none of this fear you all
speak of an attribute as innate to women. These women are so scandalous and
fearless in the worst neighborhoods in America, in dark, lonely blocks, frankly
I have no idea how they do it. I feel I make no exaggeration when I say they
have the courage of a dozen Navy SEALs.
First of all, even though you may think that they are alone, they often watch out for another. I have had transsexual friends that have worked William St in Sydney and although they may look like they are alone, there may be other working girls watching out for them. I know boys that have worked The Wall and they also watch out for each other.
Also, if one is on drugs, that is fairly obviously going to make a difference. Use your common sense there. If I were a drug addict, then I would do anything for the money to pay for those drugs and thus my personal safety would come second to my "need" for money for the drugs - even so I would probably be hoping others would watch out for me and vice versa (I haven't done any drugs but I do know some women who have worked the streets because of drugs (through the other friends above))
Quote:
And I'm pretty sure I have more fear than these women when walking through x
neighborhood. Ergo, it must be a mind thing.
Ummm, again, you don't think drugs plays a role?
Quote:
Okay, getting into cars with strange men. Eh, flagging them down or standing
at night on a ghetto corner switching your hips trying to pull men driving cars,
going into the backyard of abandoned houses, and crazier yet running off with
some men's money.
See above?
Quote:
None of this speaks of a woman "in fear" walking at night in a grocery store
parking lot.
Most sober women are going to be very wary.
Like many women, when I was younger, there are times I've gotten drunk and I am sure that I had far less fear while I was drunk because being drunk would have clouded my judgment.
Quote:
This line about men not having fear is about as much reality as men don't cry
and women do. They are based on myths. I have more fear of shop lifting or
stealing money from out a guy's coat pocket than many women do. And I mean many,
not a few.
No-one is saying men don't have fear and I would not mock any man who has fear. We are trying to explain that a woman being afraid of walking at 1-2am in the morning is not just a paranoid person.
Quote:
So, if you are a woman in a pretty safe part of town, it is true bad things can
happen anywhere. But you're probably overcome by fear mainly out of your own
imaginations. Because these "ratchet" women on ghetto blocks aren't afraid as
they flag down strange men in cars.
Again, they are not just doing it for fun. Many have been violently attacked at some time during their life whether before or during their time of the streets. Also calling a woman "ratchet" is disrespectful, no matter what she does for a living.
Last edited by susankate; 03-10-2017 at 12:23 AM..
I do think you wear rose colored glasses, to an exten, but I also think this is a taught anxiety. I look under my car and in the back seat before getting in, grip my keys a certain way (sharper ends poking through my fingers, fist clenched) when walking through a parking lot or along a street at night, etc, because my mom and other women drilled it into me that I needed to be proactive in protecting myself. There are so many stories out there about random attacks that anxiety feels like the correct reaction. I think TV crime dramas also drive home the point.
Because I've been around a lot of drug addicted women that prostitute, and hustle on the street. They have none of this fear you all speak of an attribute as innate to women. These women are so scandalous and fearless in the worst neighborhoods in America, in dark, lonely blocks, frankly I have no idea how they do it. I feel I make no exaggeration when I say they have the courage of a dozen Navy SEALs.
They do it because they have to. They do it because they have no choice. They do it because they are dead inside and realize that whatever happens happens. And they are the number one group of people who are sexually and physically assaulted by strangers.
I think you have no idea what you're talking about.
I am absolutely afraid to walk alone at night, and in daytime as well. I was nearly raped in broad daylight on a public beach in California when I was a 15 year old virgin. That changes your perspective a bit, for the rest of your life.
But that does not mean that I will not go somewhere alone, because that would mean giving up on life. But, when I am out or with someone, I constantly look over my shoulder to make sure no one is sneaking up on me. I am prepared to defend myself.
I was probably more protective of my daughter than she would have liked, but she was better prepared for the dangers of the world because of it.
And there are some places that I will not walk just because it's not safe for anyone, including men.
Of course I am adraid. I am physically weaker than men so I have no chances. I got unwanted company few times but luckily I got help from some strangers near by.
No, I'm not scared to walk alone. Done it all over the world. Maybe I've been lucky but regardless, I'm going to be smart, use common sense but not always be afraid or paranoid. Can't live in fear your whole life.
It basically lists a bunch of things women have to worry about every day, like walking alone at night, being constantly harassed by men and even carrying keys in their hand as weapons. I read the comments section and many women revealed how much they relate and how they are so frightened to walk alone at night or be on public transportation by themselves.
I'm not trying to accuse them of lying, but it just puzzles me that I can't relate to this at all. I live in Chicago, one of the most dangerous cities in the U.S., and I never feel afraid to walk alone at night by myself... I've ridden the train late at night on my own and never felt threatened. Sure, I've been hit on by men when I'm by myself, but I've never felt like they were going to attack and rape me. There are bad people out there, but I feel like most people are basically good and not out to hurt others.
Do any other women feel the way I do or do I see the world through rose-colored glasses? Do you think many women are overly paranoid about these sorts of things? Please share your thoughts..
I am not a woman but I have to say I totally understand where they are coming from, especially in high-risk contexts like college campuses or at events involving alcohol. About 20% of women in college are sexually assaulted at some point, and newer evidence suggests that the rate in high school is similar. This means the risk over that 8-year period is roughly 40%. But the vast majority of these assaults never result in criminal penalties for the perpetrator. Don't be fooled by crime stats!
As a man, I sometimes feel uncomfortable on a woman's behalf if I am alone in a space with her, even if it's just an elevator ride or in the library/computer lab. I fear in the back of my head that she might be afraid. If she is, I don't consider it paranoia at all because the stats are very disturbing!
Because I've been around a lot of drug addicted women that prostitute, and hustle on the street. They have none of this fear you all speak of an attribute as innate to women. These women are so scandalous and fearless in the worst neighborhoods in America, in dark, lonely blocks, frankly I have no idea how they do it. I feel I make no exaggeration when I say they have the courage of a dozen Navy SEALs.
And I'm pretty sure I have more fear than these women when walking through x neighborhood. Ergo, it must be a mind thing.
Okay, getting into cars with strange men. Eh, flagging them down or standing at night on a ghetto corner switching your hips trying to pull men driving cars, going into the backyard of abandoned houses, and crazier yet running off with some men's money.
None of this speaks of a woman "in fear" walking at night in a grocery store parking lot.
Even my own white mother is less paranoid than either myself or my black father who is a retired Federal agent. I can't believe she's pulled into a certain ghetto gas station at night and alone to pump gas. A spot that would worry me and I can defend myself hundred times better than her. A spot my father would avoid and he'll snap and fight hoodlums.
This line about men not having fear is about as much reality as men don't cry and women do. They are based on myths. I have more fear of shop lifting or stealing money from out a guy's coat pocket than many women do. And I mean many, not a few.
There are some mentally tough women on the streets. Some dangerous ones too that will lie and set you up. Scared, timid people they are not. And they chew nice guys up and spit them out.
So, if you are a woman in a pretty safe part of town, it is true bad things can happen anywhere. But you're probably overcome by fear mainly out of your own imaginations. Because these "ratchet" women on ghetto blocks aren't afraid as they flag down strange men in cars.
Wait ... so because PROSTITUTES "aren't" afraid to do all this, then other women shouldn't be either??
That's some messed up "logic" dude.
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