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I'm a senior woman. I've always been basically cautious. Now, with age and experience, I'm more a chicken heart. I still travel, sometimes alone. I don't go into bad or isolated areas after dark. My city was, until recent years, relatively safe if you stayed out of those areas. But, the tentacles of crime are creeping here as many other places. Living in even the "nicest area" is no rock solid guarantee of safety.
I was a young teen when the Kitty Genovese murder occurred in NYC. The coverage of that event made an impression on a lot of people. You're not always safe even with people around, big city or no big city.
It seemed that crime used to be more of two types: 1) People who wanted your money or your stuff and a speedy getaway Or 2) Se*ual assailants (where there was often marked violence beyond the assault itself)
Now, there seems to be more of such violence with the property type crimes. The bad guys don't just want your stuff, they want to make sure you're badly injured as well. And some people want to hurt you just because. True meanness and evil behavior is more the norm. They often have no remorse even when caught.
I've seen on TV recently where a very elderly woman with a walker has been slugged with a closed fist and her purse stolen, some elderly veteran at home was shot when he went to see who was at the door and an older gent was stabbed coming out of the store. This, when they would have gone over if brushed with a feather.
In my 30's, on my afternoon break walking along the outdoor mall where I worked, a scrawny young guy tried to grab my shoulder bag. It happened too quickly for me to think. I outweighed him by about 20-30 lbs. and I hung on for dear life. He dragged me a ways and then gave up. I was none the worse for wear except for a broken purse strap, a sore shoulder, quavering knees and a heart that took awhile to settle down. There were a number of other people on the mall including two police officers in the same block. I didn't think to yell or consider he might have a weapon. I just reacted. If that happened now, I (and my old knees) would go down like a bag of rocks and that would be that.
Fear knows no gender, no age, no size. Neither should awareness and due caution. Even if you're the "I can take care of my self" or even "rough and tough" type, it's better if you don't have to test that out. And most of us aren't of that stalwart variety.
I normally find walking behind or around women is that they do not have enough awareness of the environment. I could've easily sneak silently behind and get them in a choke hold.
Are you saying that men are more aware? Be careful about generalizing. I'm actually more aware than my husband. I often see things that he misses.
Oh bull****. Those women are scared too. They just simply are too driven by a addiction or they are more afraid of getting beat by their pimp than by their trick. And I guarantee you they get murdered and beat up by men all the time. If theire not scared they are just plain stupid. Anyone who tells you they are fearless is a damn idiot
A&E aired an interesting documentary called the Killing Season which started out following the investigation of the Long Island Serial Killer, and ended up uncovering evidence that there are several serial killers around the country who specifically target sex workers, especially sex workers who are isolated, vulnerable, often addicted, because these are women that people don't miss. They're putting themselves at such risk every time they go off with a man.
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Originally Posted by HokieFan
Are you saying that men are more aware? Be careful about generalizing. I'm actually more aware than my husband. I often see things that he misses.
Yeah, women are almost trained from a very young age to by hyper-aware of surroundings because of the litany of "don't do..." messages we get. Whenever I'm alone and out I pay attention to who's in front, who's behind, places that look safe, places that look not safe, without being distracted by the phone, etc.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 03-11-2017 at 07:30 AM..
But what if it's not in a well-populated downtown area? I've taken public transportation home at night after a concert or a game, and when I get off the train in my neighborhood, the area's mostly dead. There might be a few other people getting off at my stop, groups of teenagers milling around, and cars going by every so often, but walking the few blocks to my house I'm aware of every burnt-out street light, every dark alley between buildings, every other person on the sidewalk. I don't know that that's something that the hypothetical guy in the same situation is aware of to the same extent. It's where I live, so it's not a totally unsafe neighborhood, but it's still the city at night.
Fleetiebelle - aware is exactly how you should be. There is a big difference between being paranoid and being aware. As a petite woman I am on alert when I must be out at night. Even in one of our "good" neighborhoods, a woman using a walker was mugged recently. I avoid this one mall in our town at night because it has become sketchy. If I'm going out at night I am careful walking to and from vehicle. My keys are in my hand and I'm not talking on my cell phone or distracted. I make sure I look like I can take care of myself despite being 5'1" tall. I have taken a few self defense classes and intend to take some more when they start them at my gym.
I see young girls with ear buds jogging or running and they are immersed in whatever it is they are listening to. They have no idea if a car is veering off the road ready to hit them or someone is coming up behind them with bad intentions. Too many women make themselves great targets for men who have less than honorable ideas. It's not victim blaming, before some of you get off track with that. Most women, notice I said most, not all, are smaller and weaker than a lot of men. We must be aware of our surroundings.
Maybe I've watched too many episodes of Criminal Minds but I believe in being vigilant and not putting myself in situations that make me uncomfortable. Read "The Gift of Fear"; it's an excellent book.
Personally, I don't carry a wallet. My paper money is either folded in my pocket or in a money clip. I would probably use a leather wallet one day but only to use and put in my overcoat. For the foreseeable future I won't have a wallet. The things are unsightly. But that is a fashion preference.
Yeah, it is true there are men that attack women. Men seem to attack everyone: men, women, and children.
Men attack women on the streets far more than women attack men on the streets. Although, the reverse does happen.
In black Milwaukee I can tell you young black women by far physically attack other women young and old than young men do. My point with that is a woman might be looking at the 6 foot 4 inch black man that weighs 260 pounds, scared of him, thinking he might harm her (he might be a perfectly nice guy that is unlikely to attack anyone for no reason). Yet, she perceived no danger in the woman walking up to her. Yet, it is the woman that pulls her hair out of her head and beats her black and blue, puts her in the trunk of a car.
Back when I was in the Marines I witnessed with my own eyes about 4 black women in their 20s from New York City violently attack a black grandmother from Virginia Beach (she looked about age 60 maybe) with her grandchild by her side. All because the woman laughed when one of them dropped her icecream from her cone. I was taking a photo of the women standing with my black male Marine friends. Note: it was not us black males that physically assaulted that grandmother.
In Las Vegas I witnessed with my own eyes some black dude punching a Latina or white woman. It was night, so I could not make out if she was Latina or white, with some young black woman in a car cheering him on calling the other woman the B word. Then, after the guy stopped, the black woman smashed the woman into a metal gate between parked cars. Backed up. The speed forward in the car again smashing her at knee level.
It was not me, nor most men, but a woman.
And this is America. If you were in the UAE among Arab Muslims you would be safer. You could walk the streets at night safely.
Incidentally, do you know when the US infantry likes to march out and attack the enemy in raids? At zero dark thirty hours. In the black before the sun rises. Patrolling through enemy territory on some foreign land were American women will get raped, probably sodomized by sticks, as POWs, walking in forested areas you can hardly see in front of you. Yet, in the infinite wisdom of the Federal Government they put women in the infantry. Knowing well American women can't walk alone at night under street lights or at grocery stores. Yet they want to stick these women out in foreign lands against Muslim men in some more primitive country.
The Government failed to read this thread about the inferiority of women to men.
And did YOU do anything to help these women? Call 911, step in with your marine friends or did you "mind your own business"?
I'm not afraid, but I am aware of my surroundings. Footsteps directly behind me at night will make me turn and see who is behind me, but doesn't lead to a panic attack. If I get off the train at night and the parking lot is pretty much deserted, I just keep my eyes open and make sure the car keys are in hand so I'm not fumbling for them once I reach my car. I just use plain common sense and I'm certainly not looking for every boogeyman behind every doorway.
I walk my two small dogs alone at night and I like going into the woods and in a park by our house. I also ride my bike alone at night and I'm usually out until 3am. I lived in a not so great part of Elgin when I was in my 20's. I rode my bike into the early morning hours and walked my dog in a park late at night by myself. I had a Doberman at the time that was a tad intimidating. I also never locked my door to my apartment so friends could come and go if I wasn't there. Nobody would come into my apartment that wasn't friendly with my dog.
I personally wouldn't walk alone in Chicago because I'm not as familiar with the neighborhoods and which area is safer. I do know that I would never even want to drive in my car alone in certain parts of the West side and South side. I'm sure you wouldn't walk alone there during the day or night kgordeeva. That's just common sense.
My husband is a retired LEO and he worries about me being out late at night alone. Yes we live in a quiet and safe village, but, there are crimes taking place all around us. I was walking the dogs one night and one of my shorties who is now on our local PD came and warned me that they were looking for two armed men who had just attempted to rob someone on the street in my neighborhood. She told me to go home. I said that they were long gone and I'd be fine. Yes I made it home safe.
I was driving home from Wisconsin a couple of years ago and missed a tornado that passed on the road that I had driven on. I was lucky. I am also lucky that I haven't run into someone nefarious on my late night walks and rides. We all take chances every day of our lives. Whether it's driving in a car, being caught out in a lightening storm on a boat(yep it was terrifying), or even just going to a store. It's just bad luck to be a victim of a crime in a nice area. It's also a horse of a different color when you wander into a high crime area late at night.
I too will continue to be out late at night alone. I love the quiet and not having the hot sun beat down on me on my bike rides. I do know that there are parts of my town that I won't walk alone in and I will continue to carry my pepper spray. Just in case.
I've had to walk and ride public transportation late at night many times in my life. I wasn't terrified, but I wasn't super at ease either. I know that you need to be on your guard, at all times, but especially late night. You need to be aware of your surroundings, any people you see, and the "geography" of your area. Be aware of open businesses and lighted places to go to if you need to seek safety, be aware of escape routes, and not putting yourself into a place without a visible escape route. Bad guys look for people who look vulnerable, distracted, burdened by bags or children, etc. My toughest, most bad ass female friend, a fairly muscular biker chick, was attacked by 3 teens on skateboards, while she was carrying a large birthday cake to her car. This happened on a public street in broad daylight. As a mother of a teen boy, she was not at all threatened that day, until they grabbed her purse, knocked her to the ground, broke her arm, and kicked her ribs in. When I was 18 I was robbed at gunpoint at my place of employment, indoors, on a lovely Sunday afternoon. So it really doesn't matter who or where you are, violence can happen.
In my own area, I will go walking at any time, day or night, but in less protected areas, dark or deserted places, I am on high alert. If I know I will be returning to my car alone at night, or sometimes even with my hubby, I carry my stun gun. Both my hubby and I are licensed for concealed carry and I do, on occasion, carry my pistol if I think I will be in a potentially dangerous situation. I'm not a frightened person, but I will not be anyone's victim.
I'm not consumed by fear, but yes, I am definitely more concerned and aware walking alone at night. I live in the suburbs of a very safe city (Boston) for years, and have been followed partially or all the way home by men more times than I'd like. Now, I live near a college campus and plan my walks home where I know there are police call boxes and where the university police patrols. Even then, I've definitely been made to feel unsafe.
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Be careful about generalizing. I'm actually more aware than my husband. I often see things that he misses.
