How to deal with a pregnant teen (baby, parents, girls)
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I hope the reports are exaggerated, and the fob's family isn't truly leaving her to cry for hours without picking her up. Isn't it more likely they are saying "she's spoiled and needs to cry for a bit" and are attending to her after a few minutes?
Where did the OP say they were leaving her to cry for hours? Either way, baby is too young for the CIO method and picking up a young baby every time she cries isn't a bad thing.
Where did the OP say they were leaving her to cry for hours?
Since she has colic for hours each night like clock work, I envisioned them leaving her cry for hours when Jersey said, "They put her on the couch and have her cry out because that's what she should be doing." Since Jersey's family can't stop her from crying when she's colicky, I can't imagine the baby stopping herself on her own. That all translates into crying for hours to me, and I'm hoping that's not what's happening at the fob's house.
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Originally Posted by Inkpoe
Either way, baby is too young for the CIO method and picking up a young baby every time she cries isn't a bad thing.
She's too young for the CIO method, but she's not too young to cry for a few minutes before being picked up. Caregivers take showers, sit on the toilet sometimes, etc.. It's not unrealistic or unhealthy for a baby to cry for a few minutes.
I hope the reports are exaggerated, and the fob's family isn't truly leaving her to cry for hours without picking her up. Isn't it more likely they are saying "she's spoiled and needs to cry for a bit" and are attending to her after a few minutes?
After all this you expect reasonable behavior from theses people?
And no...a 3 month old infant can not be spoiled and that is a horrible mindset to have. It's one thing to let a baby fuss because you just can't get to them for a minute...it's another story to let them cry simply because you don't care enough to comfort them or think they are willfully misbehaving.
Since she has colic for hours each night like clock work, I envisioned them leaving her cry for hours when Jersey said, "They put her on the couch and have her cry out because that's what she should be doing." Since Jersey's family can't stop her from crying when she's colicky, I can't imagine the baby stopping herself on her own. That all translates into crying for hours to me, and I'm hoping that's not what's happening at the fob's house.
Op followed up and said they have her in the afternoon time (non colic time).
Quote:
She's too young for the CIO method, but she's not too young to cry for a few minutes before being picked up. Caregivers take showers, sit on the toilet sometimes, etc.. It's not unrealistic or unhealthy for a baby to cry for a few minutes.
I agree, but that doesn't sound like what FOB/family are doing, especially since they're going out their way to say "bad behavior". Sounds like another round of games here.
After all this you expect reasonable behavior from theses people?
For the baby's sake, I'm hoping.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe
Op followed up and said they have her in the afternoon time (non colic time).
She clarified they don't only have her on weeknights when she's colicky. I had forgotten that the visitation was set for one weekend day and one weekend evening. As a result, they do have the baby when she could be crying for hours. That's why I'm hoping they aren't leaving her cry for hours on end without holding her when I read Jersey's post saying they were leaving her to cry out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe
I agree, but that doesn't sound like what FOB/family are doing, especially since they're going out their way to say "bad behavior". Sounds like another round of games here.
There's nothing wrong with my hoping it's not as bad as it sounds--crying for hours.
Apparently visits aren't going so good. The fob and family are blaming her "bad" behavior on us. They say we must pick her up every time she cries.
Well hello, she's 3 1/2 months old.
They put her on the couch and have her cry it out because that's what she should be doing. Are you kidding me?
At that age, all she knows is she has needs and they have to be met.
Other than colicky time at night she's a great and happy baby.
I'd call the lawyer and let him know. Things like this lead to younger/inexperienced/inpatient parents/grandparents abusing/accidentally killing babies. At 3.5 months she doesn't have the capacity to have "bad" behavior.
Any chance he would go to some parenting classes? Maybe the court would order that for both of them (even if she does not need it, it may help her in co-parenting with him).
Call the lawyer. This is a classic situation for potential"shaken baby". Until six months old you never use cio. I cannot imagine that this is any fun for them. Maybe she could just go for the morning and early afternoon one weekend day and come home before colic time? Also colic should be over by now. Go to pedi and insist on trial of pepcid to rule out acid reflux.
I think parenting classes would be a good thing to add to the custody agreement, but I'm sure that fob's mother is the one calling the shots when baby is at their house. Since it's already proven that this kid will defer to his parents in almost everything, he probably won't put anything learned to use. But I think he definitely should attend some.
She asked for parenting classes for him. The probation officer snubbed her nose at it.
This was the reason for the request.
They go to mediation next week and she is requesting it again. She told him that he is to not let her cry it out right now. She's far too young. His typical answer (to everything) "yeah, I know".
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