My wife wants a 3rd child. I don't. (married, college, engage)
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Quit while you're ahead...if you have 3, you'll be out-numbered.
If you don't want another...stand your ground, or the next thing you know you'll be awake all night with stinky diapers up to your neck.
Perhaps your wife is like me- deep down I don't think I actually WANT another child, but the fact that I will soon be biologically unable even if I changed my mind really bothers me. ....
Just human nature to not want something until you think you can't have it. Most of us don't like growing old & yes some of the urge is biological.
Just try to remind her of all the things she will be able to do with you & with her life now that your children have gained a little independence. When it upsets me, my hubby always reminds me of all the places I have wanted to see that I soon will be able to-but could not afford if we had one more. I look forward to alone time with him once again.
That usually helps when I get those tinges of pain about no more babies.
I personally don't think that you should give in and have another child if you don't want another. You mentioned not wanting to do the whole baby/toddler thing over again and if that's you're only reason, you could always look into adopting an older child...maybe a child of an age in between your oldest and youngest? Of course it goes without saying that would be a huge decision.
well, he asked! I admit I'm prejudiced by my desire for only 2 kids. the answers that are killing me are the rude ones basically telling him to grow up and just do it. Hello! We're talking about creating a new person here. Doesn't a child deserve to be wanted by both parents?
Yes, he did ask, but I agree, the rude ones need to get a life. I think the answers that are more helpful are the ones that say, "Have you thought about this aspect...."
Perhaps your wife is like me- deep down I don't think I actually WANT another child, but the fact that I will soon be biologically unable even if I changed my mind really bothers me. ....
Just human nature to not want something until you think you can't have it. Most of us don't like growing old & yes some of the urge is biological.
Just try to remind her of all the things she will be able to do with you & with her life now that your children have gained a little independence. When it upsets me, my hubby always reminds me of all the places I have wanted to see that I soon will be able to-but could not afford if we had one more. I look forward to alone time with him once again.
That usually helps when I get those tinges of pain about no more babies.
Grow up, and do what your wife wants for God's sake. What the hell is wrong with you? After all, this woman committed her life to you, and more likely will be taking care of you when you can't take care of yourself. She wants another baby, for the love of God, give that lovely woman another child.
It is rare that a parent regrets having a child after that baby emerges. You have two beautiful kids and you don't regret having either one, correct? The problem here lies with you and your childish, self-centeredness. Perhaps your concern is that you're no longer capable? What is the real source of your resistance here?
I have only three kids and wish I had ten more. Kids are beautiful and enhance one's life to the fullest. Your wife is in the right here.
So get cracking then you said you want 10 more so that means you have 7 more to go.
OP - we were in a similar situation to you a couple of years ago. When our kids were 4 and 2, I (the wife) really wanted another one. My husband didn't. Really didn't. Even though he is a fantastic father.... He was too tired, worried about money etc to add another to the mix. I didn't care...would have moved to a smaller house / cheaper town. We had a year filled with huge teary (me) arguments. I never thought we would agree. Then I got pregnant by accident. He took the news better than I did. Once I was actually pregnant I was terrified. How could I cope with another baby...and I was not excited at all. Then, sadly, I had a miscarriage. Although I was upset with that (did the baby know I didn't really want it even after my year of begging?) I was actually relieved not to be having another child...
Somebody earlier in the thread said "it's hard to admit your child bearing years are over" and I think never a truer word has been spoken. So much of my desire to have another child was probably more about not letting that part of my life go. Although I didn't see that at the time, even when it was suggested to me, I thought that idea was preposterous. Looking back I see it clearer.
Just some thoughts from a wife's perspective. Best of luck OP.
Yes, I will join the wagon for some of the ladies saying it's the getting older. The end of your child bearing years. You either have another one or don't cause soon the choice will be taken away.
Hell, I don't even really want more kids and I've thought about it. Thankfully my husbands been taken care of (vasectomy), but I suppose if even a die hard I won't have another kid like me has thought about it maybe it is a issue for some women.
But, seriously it doesn't have to be the dying of your youth. Now maybe it's time to show her all the fun stuff. Going out, dates, sleeping in. Maybe a honeymoon, have you thought of acting like your dating again. Maybe amusement parks or kayaking. Nothing like adrenaline to make you feel young.
We're talking about creating a new person here. Doesn't a child deserve to be wanted by both parents?
Wish I could rep you! Gotta spread the love!
Quote:
Originally Posted by kahskye
Get her a puppy!
This isn't a bad idea if she's a dog person. By sheer accident, we happened to get a second dog around the time my youngest was entering a very independent teen stage.
The timing was perfect. The dog filled my void of feeling "needed" and allowed me to "let go" of my children so they could become more independent.
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What is the real source of your resistance here?
