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Quote:
Originally Posted by HuntFishRepeat Be careful , I have feelings too.
Actually if my daughters were so overweight it was affecting their health ( or soon would ) I would join in with their SO to encourage them. I see a growing weight problem like a car rolling down hill, very , very slowly, I can see the cliff at the end and at some point I'm gonna have to try to help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
Major reason for teenage girls developing eating disorders right here: Daddy's body-shaming. ^^^^^
I don't see it that way at all . It all depends on the timing. The tone , the wording.
It can be done with love and understanding or in a ugly hurtful damaging way.
No way. Lets all try to have an open mind on this subject leave the "PC" on the sidelines for once.
Overweight and lack of exercise is a major problem for many relationships and families. It leads to so many health problems and early deaths
Keep talking it out right here maybe somebody will finally hit on the words/ actions that can be conveyed without peoples feeling being hurt.
No way. Lets all try to have an open mind on this subject leave the "PC" on the sidelines for once.
Overweight and lack of exercise is a major problem for many relationships and families. It leads to so many health problems and early deaths
Keep talking it out right here maybe somebody will finally hit on the words/ actions that can be conveyed without peoples feeling being hurt.
In my opinion it's not a matter of the person being hurt but motivation for them to 'get in shape'. You can tell her without getting her feelings hurt that you want her to get in shape however that doesn't mean she'll do it as it seems she doesn't want to. Perhaps it's suited to give her an ultimatum as that may be motivation.
No way. Lets all try to have an open mind on this subject leave the "PC" on the sidelines for once.
Overweight and lack of exercise is a major problem for many relationships and families. It leads to so many health problems and early deaths
Keep talking it out right here maybe somebody will finally hit on the words/ actions that can be conveyed without peoples feeling being hurt.
Here's the thing. So many men on here don't really understand because as men - you simply aren't subjected to the same things as women are from the time they are little. Women are told that their self worth is based on what they look like. This is sort of changing - but not as much as you'd think. So, when you tell a woman that she is too fat - you are basically telling her that she is worthless. That's how it feels. If you feel like men value you for your looks - and they don't like your looks - it feels awful. In addition to this - I've never met an overweight woman that had no idea she was overweight. Now, you seemed to have been single not too long ago - so I can only assume that this is not a long time partner you are talking about. If you don't like the way someone looks right off the bat - move on. Honestly, don't get involved with someone hoping you can change something about them - whether it be their weight, their clothes, their messiness, their religion, , etc. If you aren't attracted to her just as she is - move on. There is no way to tell someone that they are too fat for you with out hurting their feelings. And let's be honest - how concerned can you be for someone's health when you don't know them that well. And being overweight doesn't automatically equal unhealthy. Not everyone is capable of being thin. I could be wrong, but I believe that the weight of the parents at the time of conception plays a big role in the weight of the child. If you are born to obese parents - you are more likely to be obese. If you have been overweight all your life - it's going to be much harder for you to lose the weight. Someone who has been very active and healthy before at least has the tools (or is more likely to have the tools) to lose weight. But it really has to come from the person themselves. You can't force anyone to lose weight. And if you are unhappy with someone's weight from the start - I don't understand why you would want to say something that is only going to hurt them instead of just moving on.
here's the thing. So many men on here don't really understand because as men - you simply aren't subjected to the same things as women are from the time they are little. Women are told that their self worth is based on what they look like. This is sort of changing - but not as much as you'd think. So, when you tell a woman that she is too fat - you are basically telling her that she is worthless. That's how it feels. If you feel like men value you for your looks - and they don't like your looks - it feels awful. In addition to this - i've never met an overweight woman that had no idea she was overweight. Now, you seemed to have been single not too long ago - so i can only assume that this is not a long time partner you are talking about. If you don't like the way someone looks right off the bat - move on. Honestly, don't get involved with someone hoping you can change something about them - whether it be their weight, their clothes, their messiness, their religion, , etc. If you aren't attracted to her just as she is - move on. There is no way to tell someone that they are too fat for you with out hurting their feelings. And let's be honest - how concerned can you be for someone's health when you don't know them that well. And being overweight doesn't automatically equal unhealthy. Not everyone is capable of being thin. I could be wrong, but i believe that the weight of the parents at the time of conception plays a big role in the weight of the child. If you are born to obese parents - you are more likely to be obese. If you have been overweight all your life - it's going to be much harder for you to lose the weight. Someone who has been very active and healthy before at least has the tools (or is more likely to have the tools) to lose weight. But it really has to come from the person themselves. You can't force anyone to lose weight. And if you are unhappy with someone's weight from the start - i don't understand why you would want to say something that is only going to hurt them instead of just moving on.
Here's the thing. So many men on here don't really understand because as men - you simply aren't subjected to the same things as women are from the time they are little. Women are told that their self worth is based on what they look like. This is sort of changing - but not as much as you'd think. So, when you tell a woman that she is too fat - you are basically telling her that she is worthless. That's how it feels. If you feel like men value you for your looks - and they don't like your looks - it feels awful. In addition to this - I've never met an overweight woman that had no idea she was overweight. Now, you seemed to have been single not too long ago - so I can only assume that this is not a long time partner you are talking about. If you don't like the way someone looks right off the bat - move on. Honestly, don't get involved with someone hoping you can change something about them - whether it be their weight, their clothes, their messiness, their religion, , etc. If you aren't attracted to her just as she is - move on. There is no way to tell someone that they are too fat for you with out hurting their feelings. And let's be honest - how concerned can you be for someone's health when you don't know them that well. And being overweight doesn't automatically equal unhealthy. Not everyone is capable of being thin. I could be wrong, but I believe that the weight of the parents at the time of conception plays a big role in the weight of the child. If you are born to obese parents - you are more likely to be obese. If you have been overweight all your life - it's going to be much harder for you to lose the weight. Someone who has been very active and healthy before at least has the tools (or is more likely to have the tools) to lose weight. But it really has to come from the person themselves. You can't force anyone to lose weight. And if you are unhappy with someone's weight from the start - I don't understand why you would want to say something that is only going to hurt them instead of just moving on.
This ^^^
It's similar to telling a man he is really terrible in bed. There is no polite way to do it.
The only way to do it is to do healthy things with her and guide her gently. No mention of fat needed.
Pretty much the only way you can make that comment is if when you met this person, she just finished an ironman. Then, sure, go ahead and say...why don't we start training for your next ironman together.
Otherwise, forget it. But you can safely make your activities together "healthier" if you are so inclined.
No way. Lets all try to have an open mind on this subject leave the "PC" on the sidelines for once.
Overweight and lack of exercise is a major problem for many relationships and families. It leads to so many health problems and early deaths
Keep talking it out right here maybe somebody will finally hit on the words/ actions that can be conveyed without peoples feeling being hurt.
But OP, you haven't answered any of our questions about who it is you're so concerned about. Is it a gf? Someone you've just begun dating? An LTR? Spouse? A cousin or other relative? Was she overweight when you met her, or did she gain weight after you'd been with her awhile? Do you really think she needs you to tell her she needs to get in shape? Don't you think she knows?
And: what does "she needs to lose weight" mean? She needs to lose weight if she wants to keep you as a bf? So is "you need to lose weight" a veiled threat? She needs to lose weight to be healthy? Many overweight people are perfectly healthy, btw. All their medical indications are in the perfect range.
We don't know enough about your situation to be able to give you sound, relevant advice tailored to your (and her) circumstances. If you want people to take you seriously and give you their best shot at advice, you need to participate more fully in your thread.
Something else a friend of mine learned the hard way, even if she asks for the WII workout thingy for Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary, Ground Hog Day.............Do Not Get It For Her.
The end result will be the same as giving her an exercise video.
so, I may as well get her a chainsaw and not insult her weight??
see, men can learn!!
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