How do you tell a woman she needs to get in shape ? (buy, foods)
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There's no good way, you just do it. I really am picky about this upfront when I meet someone though. I always eat clean and exercise everyday. When meeting a women, I just get a feel for how her eating/exercise habits are. If they are not good or non-existant that usually will be a dealbreaker for me and we probably won't date. It's not really my place to change anyone and I don't have any desire to do so.
Everyone has certain expectations and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not into heavier girls at all and that's always a dealbreaker for me. Some women won't date a guy under 6' tall. It goes both ways. It's not unrealistic for men not to physically desire fat women.
This is the big mystery. How did the OP end up with someone who didn't appeal to him anyway? Or does he date women who gain weight after he's been with them awhile? The OP has never re-visited his own thread to explain these things. It's getting hard to believe that this thread is legit. He could have looked up umpteen earlier threads on the same topic if he sincerely wanted an answer.
I doubt it's a case of that she needs to get in shape and more likely a case of you wanting her to look more attractive to you. The usage of encourage/support seem misleading to me as I generally view such words when one is behind a choice a person has made not when one is trying to coerce a person into making the choice they want. To me it may be suited to make an ultimatum as I doubt you'd be sticking around if she doesn't get into shape and look more attractive to you.
I'm not anti weight loss but this whole thread is tacky. I am 5'6 1/2-5'7 and around 125 pounds. I was previously about 150 and lost weight because I am athletic and had been sick. 150 pounds is still not overweight for my weight. I do not have high blood pressure, high cholesterol or anything wrong with my blood sugar. I also have a higher percentage of muscle than the the average woman because I was a competitive runner. In my 20's I modeled, including for a lot of fitness ads. Want me to keep going?
Lol! Nah... Got your point.
People joke with me that I'm fat but I know they are joking.
I'm a big guy in a sense of body mass because I owned and operated a tile floor maintenance business for over 16 years. My upper body strength is sick. At times i would mop or wax between 5,000 to 40,000 square feet a night. I'm not cut or anything because I never was a gym guy. So, when people see me as a big frame guy that must be why. I joke back and ask where the donuts are but it does bother me.
I was thinking as a far out scenario the poor girl coming up to her boyfriend crying saying she's sorry but she has been trying to lose weight for two months and its not working. Then saying she's sorry again for disappointing him. That would break my heart.
You have daughters, how would you like their SO or boyfriend to tell them that they need to get in shape? Can you imagine how hurt they would be? You're essentially telling someone you don't find them attractive anymore, that's just mean. I'm beginning to understand why you have been unable to keep a relationship since your divorce now, you're a very insensitive person.
Be careful , I have feelings too.
Actually if my daughters were so overweight it was affecting their health ( or soon would ) I would join in with their SO to encourage them. I see a growing weight problem like a car rolling down hill, very , very slowly, I can see the cliff at the end and at some point I'm gonna have to try to help.
Actually if my daughters were so overweight it was affecting their health ( or soon would ) I would join in with their SO to encourage them. I see a growing weight problem like a car rolling down hill, very , very slowly, I can see the cliff at the end and at some point I'm gonna have to try to help.
Major reason for teenage girls developing eating disorders right here: Daddy's body-shaming. ^^^^^
Actually if my daughters were so overweight it was affecting their health ( or soon would ) I would join in with their SO to encourage them. I see a growing weight problem like a car rolling down hill, very , very slowly, I can see the cliff at the end and at some point I'm gonna have to try to help.
There is no such thing as the fitness white knight. Your not going to encourage, talk, shame, beat, or otherwise coherse a woman into better shape by approaching them as a SO, relative, friend, or what not.
They know their weight and image. They know if they want and can do something about it. If they do, that is where you help or enable them to reach their goal. But, it HAS to be their goal. Not yours.
You also need to know a lot about the situation. Chances are, if your SO is overweight, uncomfortable, and knows it, she has also made hints about it, suggestions about why it is, what she needs, etc. If you want to bring up the topic, you need to pick up on this and explore it further. (She may talk about lacking time, being too tired or not having ambition, too much to do, too hard to cook healthy, medical things... or whatever. It may not all be directly imbedded in a conversation about weight or health so you need to be persceptive and connect dots).
When I got a little bigger as a kid, my parents told me I should stop gaining and took the candy away. Done.
No eating disorder developed.
So you say, they should have just let me gain weight?
Ask any mental health professional who treats eating disorders. Paternal commentary about a daughter's body can wreak havoc on her. PLENTY in the psychiatric literature about this. Spend a few minutes with Google if you're unsure.
As for tag-teaming with her SO, that is just beyond the pale in its inappropriateness. It's downright creepy.
There is no such thing as the fitness white knight. Your not going to encourage, talk, shame, beat, or otherwise coherse a woman into better shape by approaching them as a SO, relative, friend, or what not.
They know their weight and image. They know if they want and can do something about it. If they do, that is where you help or enable them to reach their goal. But, it HAS to be their goal. Not yours.
You also need to know a lot about the situation. Chances are, if your SO is overweight, uncomfortable, and knows it, she has also made hints about it, suggestions about why it is, what she needs, etc. If you want to bring up the topic, you need to pick up on this and explore it further. (She may talk about lacking time, being too tired or not having ambition, too much to do, too hard to cook healthy, medical things... or whatever. It may not all be directly imbedded in a conversation about weight or health so you need to be persceptive and connect dots).
Major reason for teenage girls developing eating disorders right here: Daddy's body-shaming. ^^^^^
This sounds like classic blame shifting. You know, as in when someone won't take responsibility for dealing with their problems.
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