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Location: Giant sack of land between new mexico and lousiana
167 posts, read 189,613 times
Reputation: 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by sfcambridge
It is excellent your mother is in the hospital now. You have some time to breathe.
You must talk to a lawyer.
You will need to consult with a lawyer locally, and in any state you are considering transfer to. NEVER EVER believe what a nursing home rep tells you. Not reliable. NEVER EVER believe a hospital rep completely. Read government websites online, call the local Departments of Aging in Texas and in Minnesota (which is a nice, but cold, place), talk to social workers when you can, and talk to elder care lawyers.
Remember, the social worker you are talking to now at the hospital is an employee of the hospital. Their goal is to get your Mom out and they may...fib. And they will encourage things that may not work because they have no idea what is going on in Minnesota.
If your Mom qualifies for SSI, submit the application tomorrow. Sit down and do it. It is not that difficult. I would recommend talking to the elder care lawyer soon, just in case they have any pointers, but you can save money and do the process yourself. But you should talk to them now to be absolutely sure there is nothing left to explore in Texas before considering moving. For example, maybe there is a way to ???transfer work credits/appeal Medicaid decision etc... But the hospital social worker doesn't tell you this because it takes months so your Mom would be stuck in their hospital for months and they want her out. Understand?
Meanwhile, your Mom should be getting physical and occupational and speech therapy in the hospital every day. Ask for it. Demand it. She needs to learn how to transfer to a wheelchair. You need to learn how to assist her so you don't hurt yourself. You need to learn how to safely turn your Mom, change her, help if she falls etc. Ask every person who comes into her room to teach you something, including the Nursing aids.
Is your Mom aware? Thinking clearly? If so, kick her in the butt and tell her she has to start doing her exercises every day. Do them with her when you visit. The longer you delay this, the worse chance for timely recovery. She needs to move as much as possible, and do as much for herself as possible. So do not baby her. Push her. She is young. She has more chance of recovery because of this.
If she is depressed..... not interacting, sleeping too much, not doing her exercises...... ask the doctors to treat her depression with medications. The vast majority of people are depressed after a stroke. This is a symptom of the stroke, and increases with increased stroke severity and in people in nursing homes. Do not overlook this. Her depression must be treated.
This process is going to cost a lot of money, whatever happens. But it is worth investing some of your own (and any your mother has) now to make sure you make the best decisions. All timelines will be much longer than you think.
Is there one friend, friend of your mother's, church support, neighbor etc.... who can help join your "team", so you are not alone?. For your Mom to have more visitors who can so her exercises with her will improve her mood, and take some pressure off you.
So first steps....
Get a lawyer.
Get the SSI application.
Get your Mom moving.
Make your list of government agencies to call. Reconfirm all options in Texas, and in Minnesota.
Every time you call and find out some info that seems promising, confirm it. Call again. Speak to supervisors. And ask for documentation on the websites.
Good luck.
Now I am more overwhelmed now. I can't relax everyone. She is in a hospital which is not a long term care center, how can I just relax and do something that might take months or years. I refuse to care for her. I have my own problems and depression to deal with so I am not going to endlessly ask for help on how to care for her. She has only one friend and I don't think she is willing to go the lengths of what I want to do to take care of this. the APS caseworker says to apply for SSDI for her. For that I'll need to know where the 20 credits came from. That five years worth of work out of over 30 years? that doesn't make sense but the problem is I don't have any proof of check stubs only tax documents from few years and a document from 1999 stating that she has enough credits to get retirement and disability benefits (by then she had already worked in the united states for 17 years). If those documents won't be enough to find more credits then I'll have to get an elder care lawyer from Minnesota and see if they can help me out. I just cannot handle financially getting a social security or disablity lawyer and an elder care lawyer. My main issue is the length of stay the hospital is willing to keep her in. I am just dealing with this all alone. There is absolutely no family member or church member or any support. I am tired of repeating that statement. Sorry if I come off as bitter but I having so much to deal with and the people I am speaking to are treating this as if I am asking how to build a gingerbread house or something.
Op, I'm very very serious please speak with them!!
Why.
Oh ****. I didn't know stuff like this actually happens often. so I'm not the only one. It looks like I am dealing with the same BS from Texas the lady in the article dealt with in florida. That lady must have a lot of support from family and other people for her story to reach CNN. It'll be extremely difficult to get that much support on my own. Texas is not that far from florida when it comes to crap medicaid quality.
Last edited by buzzlightyear00; 01-22-2017 at 09:32 AM..
Get a lawyer. You don't need a SSDI lawyer. Just an elder care lawyer. Ask them the cost of a one time consultation, to see if they have the knowledge base to help you with your problems. Make a list of your issues, and questions.
Yes, it is a lot. But you can do a little every day. And you have time. She is in the hospital, and is not going anywhere at this point. Make a checklist, and start. The hospital has to wait for you. You are lucky you even have this. MAny of us on this site care for loved ones in our homes every day in worse situations than yours, and are depressed. But we move forward. Because we have to.
You can too.
You know you have had your head in the sand until now. That was a mistake. But now you will move forward.
If you are depressed, it is time to see your doctor and get on an anti-depressant yourself.
The woman in question is not a citizen, that's a big part of the problem. I don't know where to draw that line of who we take care of who we don't. I mean if people start coming here from scores of countries to get free health care here, is that a good idea? Should health care be limited to citizens? Or y'all come and we'll take care of you? Do people have some responsibility to pay for health insurance? Or should the rest of us always pay for everyone?
Did the US government put in Starbucks and Burger King in the Green Zone? Sounds like private industry to me but I could be wrong
OP, I have to agree with the above. I understand you mother has been here 30 years, but she just gotresidency 6 months ago! That's the problem! I don't think moving to another state is going to help, so you might want to talk to a lawyer first! If she wanted all the benefits of being a citizen, she should have became one years ago. Like others have said, the U.S. can't be handing out money for everyone, it's not fair to us who are citizens. And the U.S. can't afford it! I really doubt she'll get anything.
With that said, I do really feel sorry for her and for you. Reach out to an immigration lawyer and to some of the links people have offered here. Maybe there is something that can be done since she has been here legally for 30 years. Good luck OP. Please keep us posted.
Location: Giant sack of land between new mexico and lousiana
167 posts, read 189,613 times
Reputation: 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab
OP, I have to agree with the above. I understand you mother has been here 30 years, but she just gotresidency 6 months ago! That's the problem! I don't think moving to another state is going to help, so you might want to talk to a lawyer first! If she wanted all the benefits of being a citizen, she should have became one years ago. Like others have said, the U.S. can't be handing out money for everyone, it's not fair to us who are citizens. And the U.S. can't afford it! I really doubt she'll get anything.
With that said, I do really feel sorry for her and for you. Reach out to an immigration lawyer and to some of the links people have offered here. Maybe there is something that can be done since she has been here legally for 30 years. Good luck OP. Please keep us posted.
A qualified noncitizen meets the alien status requirement if they are one of the following:
Qualified non-citizen under age 19;
A person who was admitted as a qualified noncitizen on or before 8/22/96.
A person who entered the U.S. on or after August 22, 1996 and it has been five years since he or she became a qualified noncitizen
A person who has obtained their qualified noncitizen status less than five years ago but entered the U.S. prior to August 22, 1996. The noncitizen must show that he or she has been living in the U.S. continuously for five years from a date prior to 8/22/96 to the date the noncitizen obtained their qualified status. If the noncitizen cannot establish the five-year continuous residence before he or she obtained their qualified status, the person is not considered to have entered the U.S. prior to 8/22/96.
My mother meets the requirement for the final item on the list. She entered here on a student visa 1986, I just need proof that she has been here continuously for five years before 1996. Of course, I would make phone calls after reading this to confirm but each state handles the five year wait different but provide exceptions for immigrants that were already here 1996. Some states require that if you obtained permanent residency after 1996 then you have to wait five years or have 40 work credits (which takes ten years), the end. Some other states on the other hand have it easier, where if you already residing here on and before that date but arrived afterwards, as long as you show proof of continuous residency since the date you first entered the US and to the date you got permanent residency, there is no 5 year ban.
I know it will be unfair to just give foreigners same health benefits but come on, if someone has been living here legally for that long, that should be taken into account. Her immigration lawyer seems not eager to help out as he knows nothing about state benefits for immigrants. It seems I am better off getting an elder care lawyer in Minnesota and see if I need to do additional steps.
You have been given a lot of good advice but you seem to shoot down every suggestion and give excuses as to why this won't work or that won't work or you can't or don't want to do this or that. It's time to take action and stop with the excuses. This is YOUR mom, not Texas' mom, not Minnesota's mom, not Vermont's mom and not Oregon's mom. You have done a lot of the leg work but seem stuck there and cannot actually take action. You are an educated, employed adult and you are capable of doing what you need to do to get help. Do it! I'm sorry this is so harsh but you simply cannot keep posting about needing help and blaming everyone and everything for the predicament you find yourself in. At some point you need to fish or cut bait. If you want to help your mom do it. If not, just don't take any calls from the hospital and let them do whatever they will with her.
Location: Giant sack of land between new mexico and lousiana
167 posts, read 189,613 times
Reputation: 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by austinaggie
You have been given a lot of good advice but you seem to shoot down every suggestion and give excuses as to why this won't work or that won't work or you can't or don't want to do this or that. It's time to take action and stop with the excuses. This is YOUR mom, not Texas' mom, not Minnesota's mom, not Vermont's mom and not Oregon's mom. You have done a lot of the leg work but seem stuck there and cannot actually take action. You are an educated, employed adult and you are capable of doing what you need to do to get help. Do it! I'm sorry this is so harsh but you simply cannot keep posting about needing help and blaming everyone and everything for the predicament you find yourself in. At some point you need to fish or cut bait. If you want to help your mom do it. If not, just don't take any calls from the hospital and let them do whatever they will with her.
I am not shooting them down. I am considering the idea of getting and eldercare lawyer. I am taking these things in account so take it easy. My depressive thoughts is getting in the way of making me think nothing will work but I am still trying to work hard at this anyways. I'm not going to seek help about my depression until I get all of this over with.
You have done a ton amount of research so that is good. You CAN do this. I also think you should look into Catholic charities or some other church organization. I just know there is help out there for you. I know it is overwhelming and frustrating but you are on the right track. Try to get help for your depression. That will help tremendously. If I dig up anything else that may be helpful I will pass it along. You've got this!
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