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Location: Giant sack of land between new mexico and lousiana
167 posts, read 189,564 times
Reputation: 92
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In my mother's weak and sad state, I won't be surprised if she doesn't make til the end of this year. As morbid as it sounds, I would be as relieved as much as she would be as she would not have to continue on in misery, especially in this country. In the meantime, she is still alive and I'll keep on helping her out. Unless someone is a psychic and can tell what will happen in the next four years, I'm better off worrying about today.
In my mother's weak and sad state, I won't be surprised if she doesn't make til the end of this year. As morbid as it sounds, I would be as relieved as much as she would be as she would not have to continue on in misery, especially in this country. In the meantime, she is still alive and I'll keep on helping her out. Unless someone is a psychic and can tell what will happen in the next four years, I'm better off worrying about today.
I am so sorry that your mother is in such poor shape. I am sure that fear of her dying prematurely is also weighing on your mind.
I may have missed it, but does she have any relatives left at all? Perhaps a sibling that could come to America to help? What about her ex-husband? I know several situations where the exes have given great assistance in difficult caregiving situations (after all they loved each other at one point in time & he probably will want to help you his daughter). And, if you could track down her former co-workers or old friends maybe they would want to help, too.
Location: Giant sack of land between new mexico and lousiana
167 posts, read 189,564 times
Reputation: 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
I am so sorry that your mother is in such poor shape. I am sure that fear of her dying prematurely is also weighing on your mind.
I may have missed it, but does she have any relatives left at all? Perhaps a sibling that could come to America to help? What about her ex-husband? I know several situations where the exes have given great assistance in difficult caregiving situations (after all they loved each other at one point in time & he probably will want to help you his daughter). And, if you could track down her former co-workers or old friends maybe they would want to help, too.
Good luck.
The thought of her death is not troubling for me. If it happens, then it happens. Right now she's just laying in bed and taking pills. With the amount of health problems she has and with no therapy, there's no way she'll get any better. In the meantime, i'll just continue to help get benefits for her. If she dies a month after she gets any government benefits then I know I accomplished something even if it was short lived.
She has relatives but they are either dead, poor, or very old. As for her ex-husband, I never heard from my father after their divorce. Not even a hello. I don't know if he is even alive but he probably doesn't even care. The only thing I know is his name. As for her co-workers, she did have "friends" but when she lost her job, her "friends" didn't bother helping her out. They all either retired or had other jobs but they wouldn't return her phone calls. She even knew an executive in the company, that kept promising her he'll find something for her but of course that didn't happen even after she followed up with him several times (she's just a peasant in his eyes after all). It's as if her friends all dropped out the moment she didn't have "money". She only has one long time friend (her friend since school) but she is a housewife and doesn't work. Her only income is coming from her husband, so she couldn't help much herself. She is currently trying to find people that she knows that knows of any help but she has been doing so for months and I guess for her, she isn't finding much help either.
^^^ I just looked at that page and it sounds encouraging. Buzz, I hope you will think about checking out this possibility. If it is anything worthwhile at all, it's a wonder that no one of the social worker-type has yet suggested this to you.
I'm thinking it could be an interim answer for your mum, whilst the other things are pending.
Location: Giant sack of land between new mexico and lousiana
167 posts, read 189,564 times
Reputation: 92
It does look promising. I'm definitely going to look into this. This could be a huge relief if the place is willing to help me out and a huge relief until I get things together for her.
Austin has a shelter that provides "recuperative care" in a nursing home for homeless clients. Who knew? » Recuperative Care
That website is a great find! And that organization sounds amazing. Buzz, here is a link to their "Client Resources" page, which is on Google Drive. It has a lot of information about services. Hopefully, something in there will be of use to you.
Maybe the people who gave you advice know what they were talking about...
"Medical respite care centers range from free-standing centers to sections of homeless shelters, and even vouchers for motels and hotels with home visits by medical and social support staff."
Either she is discharged or transferred to one of these homeless shelters or you need to start making accommodations in your home, such as a wheelchair, a bath bench, and so on, and see about volunteer help for home health aides.
This may have some links that could be helpful. I would access every one if you haven't already.
[quote=MaryleeII;46906412]....snipped.....
I find the suggestion of a homeless shelter to be absurd! None of them provide care on a long-term basis, and won't accept people unable to provide self-care. I read most won't even let someone bring assistive devices, like a cane, because they could be used as a weapon!
Clearly no one is trying to help in a realistic fashion. ...snipped...[/quote]Many people have offered much realistic info. She just has to check every resource available for a situation that has many unusual circumstances. Others are trying, she is trying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
They told OP they would take her to a homeless shelter
It may be the only thing available.
I am very sorry for the OP and her mother. She seems to be working hard to find a solution. Healthcare is not a given in this country. My husband, before he turned 65, checked out all the Obamacare plans and the cheapest was $650 a month with a $6,000 deductible. We could not afford on our income. We have a small business but make a paycheck. I am now 73, he is younger. He went two years with no insurance, working 7 days a week and we paid our taxes, penalties and subsidies for others to have insurance. He is now on an Advantage Plan with medicare that pays little to nothing in benefits but we can't afford regular Medicare.
That is life and a crapshoot, at best. Good luck, OP, and I mean that sincerely. Keep trying.
The thought of her death is not troubling for me. If it happens, then it happens. Right now she's just laying in bed and taking pills. With the amount of health problems she has and with no therapy, there's no way she'll get any better. In the meantime, i'll just continue to help get benefits for her. If she dies a month after she gets any government benefits then I know I accomplished something even if it was short lived.
She has relatives but they are either dead, poor, or very old. As for her ex-husband, I never heard from my father after their divorce. Not even a hello. I don't know if he is even alive but he probably doesn't even care. The only thing I know is his name. As for her co-workers, she did have "friends" but when she lost her job, her "friends" didn't bother helping her out. They all either retired or had other jobs but they wouldn't return her phone calls. She even knew an executive in the company, that kept promising her he'll find something for her but of course that didn't happen even after she followed up with him several times (she's just a peasant in his eyes after all). It's as if her friends all dropped out the moment she didn't have "money". She only has one long time friend (her friend since school) but she is a housewife and doesn't work. Her only income is coming from her husband, so she couldn't help much herself. She is currently trying to find people that she knows that knows of any help but she has been doing so for months and I guess for her, she isn't finding much help either.
The reality is, when it comes to needing care, such as the sort of care your mom needs, family is who generally picks up that load. "Friends" have their own families to take care of. Try and remember that - you should never expect non-family to help...really. They all have their own families to deal with.
Location: Giant sack of land between new mexico and lousiana
167 posts, read 189,564 times
Reputation: 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
The reality is, when it comes to needing care, such as the sort of care your mom needs, family is who generally picks up that load. "Friends" have their own families to take care of. Try and remember that - you should never expect non-family to help...really. They all have their own families to deal with.
That's what she thought not me. I knew no co-worker of hers would even bother to help her. I told her at the time to move on and not butt into their problems.
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