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I did this more than once. Fortunately my company repaid me by giving me fully paid transfers and promotions to a good job in a primary market after doing my time in the trenches somewhere no one else wanted to transfer to. It 100% worked out for me and I would follow that path again. When I tell people at my company my transfer history they say who did you make mad? Au contraire it was my path to here and well worth it.
In 1981, wife (age 32) had great opportunity in Colorado Springs.
We moved.
It was worth it for her career.
Colo Spgs sucks, but I love Denver where I have lived for 30+ years.
I don't see our economy improving for quite a while. Seems like the jobs we are seeing are low pay/no benefits/part time. If you can find a way to make yourself worth more in your industry, do it. If you have to live in an armpit for a couple years, so be it.
You could rent out your home and move the family, or do the commuting thing. One thing to remember, if you move the family, they could still go back and visit quite often, and stay with your MIL.
I did this. I spent 15 years in a real armpit for the sake of better jobs and a LOT more money. In that 15 year period, I almost quadrupled my salary. It was worth it! I was able to retire very young. We used vacations to take trips and get away. And every place has something. We did find some things to do that were OK. We hated it but we made our own fun and entertainment. And you can get satellite anywhere!
I've lived in a place I don't like for the last 25 years because of job opportunities. After a while, any place will probably grow on you a little bit. The terrible schools part doesn't describe us, though - schools are OK.
How absolutely miserable for you. I had to do that for a few years, never again. It doesn't get much worse than living somewhere you don't like.
There is more to life than "job opportunities", we get one "go round" on this planet, there are some things in life you can't change, but living somewhere you don't like isn't one of them.
I would love DC if I made enough. It's funny how a 'desirable' location is not so desirable if you're barely getting by.
One of the biggest problems with this place - no matter how well you do, there is always someone with so much more, that you feel poor. I think we are doing ok, but then I grew up without much so I think I appreciate what we have more. My husband can't stop comparing us and getting down about it.
I have to say that when I lived here in my 20's, when I was barely scraping by, it was totally miserable to be surrounded by such wealth.
One of the biggest problems with this place - no matter how well you do, there is always someone with so much more, that you feel poor. I think we are doing ok, but then I grew up without much so I think I appreciate what we have more. My husband can't stop comparing us and getting down about it.
I have to say that when I lived here in my 20's, when I was barely scraping by, it was totally miserable to be surrounded by such wealth.
Your husband should read some of the Napolean Hill books. Helped me a lot. Helped me get this opportunity. Happy Holidays to you.
Here's adding my voice to the chorus of persons who relocated to a "crummy" location because of career-prospects. Originally an emigrant from Europe (in my childhood), I became a "coastal", big-city person. After college, I relocated to the environs of a small, decaying, blue-collar city in the Midwest. The job is an excellent fit with my aspirations and temperament. Exterior to the job, life is rather circumscribed and bland. Much of my compensation is delayed, in the sense of a traditional defined-benefit pension. This behooves me to remain rooted here for the entirety of my career, and that means conceivably an additional 15-20 years.
Much of our consideration for where it's desirable to live is contingent upon our family situation. Young married couples starting a family would have very different considerations from child-free couples, empty-nesters, single-parents or child-free singles. People who are looking to date, will have different outlook from those who are already coupled, or who have foresworn romantic partnership. People with close family ties will feel more rootlessness and dislocation if moving far away, than people whose parents have passed-away, and who have no siblings. Alternatively, people with close family in an otherwise undesirable location will find the place to be quite acceptable, whereas newcomers with no local roots would never abide the place. My town is quite OK for families, and especially for couples with young children. It's awful for middle-aged singles (but then again, what place isn't?).
The real problem, in my view, isn’t relocating to an undesirable place for a while, but facing the prospect of spending one's lifetime in said undesirable place. Temporary lifestyle-setback in the greater service of one's career is perfectly rational. Soldiers deploy to some genuine hellholes for 12-18 months. So do petroleum prospectors, Peace Corps volunteers and so forth. But they all have the consolation of returning home in due course. Relocate for a permanent job, and you may never return.
Here's adding my voice to the chorus of persons who relocated to a "crummy" location because of career-prospects. Originally an emigrant from Europe (in my childhood), I became a "coastal", big-city person. After college, I relocated to the environs of a small, decaying, blue-collar city in the Midwest. The job is an excellent fit with my aspirations and temperament. Exterior to the job, life is rather circumscribed and bland. Much of my compensation is delayed, in the sense of a traditional defined-benefit pension. This behooves me to remain rooted here for the entirety of my career, and that means conceivably an additional 15-20 years.
Much of our consideration for where it's desirable to live is contingent upon our family situation. Young married couples starting a family would have very different considerations from child-free couples, empty-nesters, single-parents or child-free singles. People who are looking to date, will have different outlook from those who are already coupled, or who have foresworn romantic partnership. People with close family ties will feel more rootlessness and dislocation if moving far away, than people whose parents have passed-away, and who have no siblings. Alternatively, people with close family in an otherwise undesirable location will find the place to be quite acceptable, whereas newcomers with no local roots would never abide the place. My town is quite OK for families, and especially for couples with young children. It's awful for middle-aged singles (but then again, what place isn't?).
The real problem, in my view, isn’t relocating to an undesirable place for a while, but facing the prospect of spending one's lifetime in said undesirable place. Temporary lifestyle-setback in the greater service of one's career is perfectly rational. Soldiers deploy to some genuine hellholes for 12-18 months. So do petroleum prospectors, Peace Corps volunteers and so forth. But they all have the consolation of returning home in due course. Relocate for a permanent job, and you may never return.
I did this, although I relocated to STL in the midwest. It was either do this or stay in a very boring job and only work part-time for the gov't so I left and headed to STL from a large city on the NE coast. I tried to be optimistic, but it just wasn't good. Having been around the country and lived in way better areas (both weather and city wise) I was looking to get out. I didn't even stay for 1 year.
The only time I would recommend moving to a location that you aren't happy with is if you are starting fresh out of college and you want to get your foot in the door, and if the compensation is justified for living in a horrible location. Eventually you will realize that whatever you are making is not worth it and you will look to get out. If you are already established in your career I would highly advise against it.
You just don't go if the spouse is going to hate it that much. The way the spouse is being described is insulting. If they aren't working, their feeling of the general area will be that much more intense.
I've lived in a crappy place where there was an excellent career opportunity for my wife. I hated it and was diagnosed with captive spouse syndrome. She took a slightly weaker job in another state we both wanted to live in and my career took off. Our combined income soared, as did our happiness.
Generally speaking, it's not worth living in an area you or your spouse hate and the job potential is very rarely as good as described. Usually this results in a broken marriage and one or two fat adults who let themselves go because they just don't give a **** anymore.
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