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You just don't go if the spouse is going to hate it that much. The way the spouse is being described is insulting. If they aren't working, their feeling of the general area will be that much more intense.
I've lived in a crappy place where there was an excellent career opportunity for my wife. I hated it and was diagnosed with captive spouse syndrome. She took a slightly weaker job in another state we both wanted to live in and my career took off. Our combined income soared, as did our happiness.
Generally speaking, it's not worth living in an area you or your spouse hate and the job potential is very rarely as good as described. Usually this results in a broken marriage and one or two fat adults who let themselves go because they just don't give a **** anymore.
Generally speaking, living away from your spouse (keeping primary residence where it is and getting small apartment in new location) is bad advice except when the following circumstances align:
- Current location is great, close to family with excellent senior positions avilable after getting this experience (except for this specific level of experience)
- Schools and spouse career opportunities in current location are best in class and very lousy in new location
- New location is an easy weekend, emergency, or special occasion drive away, but too far and soul crushing to do every day (2-2.5 hours each way in car)
- Opportunity in new location really is that good any way you slice it
- Similar opportunity would be required to break to next level in career, most likely in another undesirable location anyways
- Very limited opportunities in new location outside opportunity offerred
- Have excellent mortgage rate on current house that you will never see again (3% on 30-yr)
- Skills obtained would be highly valued in industry, including the prime market where the family remained
Last edited by Htown2013; 12-25-2014 at 04:33 PM..
I moved to ATL from NYC for a great job (paid more than my NYC salary, in Atlanta) and could only stand it for about 9 months. It's clearly not the worst place , but I really hated living there.
Once moved to a place I didn't like for career. At the beginning, we were kind of ambivalent about going, but after just a couple of months, couldn't wait to leave. Spent four of the most miserable years of my life there before we could get out. Funny thing is, there are about a million folks who think the Silicon Valley is great, esp when the tech boom really took off. Left there for Colorado and really loved it. (C Springs). We were there for 10 years before another career opportunity came. We made the choice to leave Colorado because the new location was closer to family and also a good place to live. So we didn't have your choice between Colorado and a he)) hole, so for the most part we've been happy here.
Personally while we left CO for where we are now, I wouldn't have left CO for Wichta Falls if I had a choice. Just couldn't make that move. My time in the Bay Area taught me that no job is worth living in a place you detest with all your being.
And, as a side note, getting back to CO may be harder than you think. We'd love to move back, but I'm now in a position where the cost of moving back is too steep.
..I relocated to STL in the midwest. It was either do this or stay in a very boring job and only work part-time for the gov't so I left and headed to STL from a large city on the NE coast.
The only time I would recommend moving to a location that you aren't happy with is if you are starting fresh out of college and you want to get your foot in the door, and if the compensation is justified for living in a horrible location. Eventually you will realize that whatever you are making is not worth it and you will look to get out. If you are already established in your career I would highly advise against it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff
My time in the Bay Area taught me that no job is worth living in a place you detest with all your being.
The "horribleness" of a place depends on one's circumstances. People who are deeply invested in their jobs, who are raising kids and saving for retirement, would do OK in any place with moderate cost of living, moderate taxes and good schools. That describes some very boring and humdrum places with bad weather and insular local mindset. But as I said earlier, for a single person looking to date, the criteria are very different than for a young family. My present town has weather somewhat better than what's in St. Louis, but St. Louis is a larger and more internationally-flavored city, hosting a small but viable community of immigrants from my native country. Thus I'd be much happier even in St. Louis.
But it is precisely because I became so deeply invested in my job, that the particular locale came to be of secondary importance.
The gist of my recommendation is that a horrible place isn't so horrible, depending on one's priorities, and where one happens to be in life. I'd never retire where I presently live, but have made peace will residing here until I retire. Others would never be able to abide such a tradeoff between working-life and quality of life outside of work.
Well paid, high quality jobs are usually located in the most desirable cities in order to attract the best talent.
Depends. The other thing though is that areas to gain the experience and grades to get those are not always in the same places. Keep in mind that companies do not always *get* more simply being where talent goes. Gentification is real. DC is totally different from what it was 15 years ago let alone 30.
If you make a place easy to go to and deal with then that's what you are going to get for applicants. This is why some jobs are going back to the mail because even paying 50 cents to mail something will deter those that are cheap. Then the cost of ink and paper. You have to have qualifications somewhere down the line. Otherwise it is like Devry
All good points Htown, but I still wouldn't do it because I could just say "no" to the moving thing. However, I'm also dramatically more attached to my spouse than most people are to their SOs.
All good points Htown, but I still wouldn't do it because I could just say "no" to the moving thing. However, I'm also dramatically more attached to my spouse than most people are to their SOs.
I guess another option is to rent out current house and move family there and just get smallest place in 'good' area there that meets our needs. I really need to take this opportunity, I just don't want to be stuck there for the rest of my working career. Shouldn't have a problem renting out current house, it's in good location with great schools.
But, what if your spouse doesn't work and your are the sole provider, and the opportunity is really game changing if done successfully?
How do you tackle this one? It would not be forever, just for a few years to gain experience.
As long as you don't have kids to worry about raising in an area you don't like, and dealing with a poor school system, I say go for it because these two factors you highlight above is worth the gamble. Good pay, great work experience, and an unemployed spouse.
What city/area is this and where will you be coming from?
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